The Rules For Being Human

I just read this out of a book and I had to write them out in a blog right away. The book does not give an author to these rules.

The Rules For Being Human

1) You will receive a body: You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2) You will learn lessons: You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opporunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3) There are no mistakes, only lessons: Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4) A lesson is repeated until it is learned: : A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it you can go on to the next lesson.

5) Learning lessons does not end: There is not part of life that does not conatain lessons. If you are alive, there are always lessons to be learned.

6) "There" is no better than "here" : When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here."

7) Others are merely mirrors of you: You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8) What you make of your life is up to you: You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9) The answers lie inside you: The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10) YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS

I wish I had time to explain my feelings but I have shit tons of homework. Project due tommorrow. I just thought I'd share somer very impressive and imporant rules.

Zombie Dream Chapter 3

The roads are dead and the ride is quiet. The sun is orange and it keeps trying to peek over the clouds. Dawson and I don't say much. I think its hard to actually acknowledge that some one died. This wasn't part of the plan. It is hard for me to get my thoughts strait. Every time I try to plan out what needs to be done next, my mind wanders back and I try to play out what happened back at the store differently, but it always ends the same way. We are getting close to the Fargo exit and before we do I tell Dawson to pull off into the next exit so we can regroup before we get to Dean's. This time I am making sure no one is left behind. Dawson exits and the rest of the cars follow and we all park at a gas station and talk out next move over. Everyone seems okay and back to their normal selves. Maybe I am being to hard on myself. The sun is getting darker and I wanted to get to Dean's before dark but there is no way we can get there that fast. A couple of headlights can be seen coming toward us and they seem really bright since the sun is going down. They drive into the parking lot and a couple of people hop out. Cory Johnson and Andy Christenson are the first people I see. I don't say hi. Out of all the people, and all the places, they are here. I let Dawson and some of the parents do all the talking. I hop back in the car. Dawson and Cory walk up to my door and I step out. Cory pats me on my shoulder and says hi and I give him a quick look and I ask Dawson, "Whats up?" Dawson informs me that Cory's group will be joining us. I guess thats what I get for not being involved in the discussion. I give Dawson a silent "Are you serious" look and grit my teeth behind my lips. I don't say anything and hop back in the car. Andy's parents and Jon's parents are talking and the kids are off interacting. I get sick of waiting in the car and I come out. Cory, Laura and Tiffany all say hi and I only reply back to Tiffany. I remind the parents that we need to get moving and they agree. I ask Dawson in the car why he thought it would be a good idea to take Cory's group with us. He says that he thinks it would be a good idea to have more people. I tell him that you can't fuck with chemistry and that I would take quality over quantity any day. Dawson tells me that the our parents thought it would be a good idea too. Of course they do I think to myself. "Did you fill the new group in on what our plan is?" I ask Dawson, He says yes. My intuition tells me that this is not going to work out well, but I accept it. I also know that if I keep ignoring Cory's group while they are working with us, that it will hurt the whole group. So I choke back my pride and tell myself from now on I will forget the past. I call Cory and I ask him how everyone in their camp is and he says everyone is fine. I ask him if I can talk to Andy. Cory passes the phone to Andy and we just say quickly say hello and small talk for a second then he passes the phone to Tiffany. Tiffany and I babble for a little then we hang up. We get to Grand Forks, the city is still pretty calm. We get to Dean's house and he lets us in. Everyone goes off into the own little clumps and talk. I catch Dean up on what we have been doing and he tells us what he and his family has been doing. After everyone settles we go back out and carry some things from the car into Dean's house. Everyone is so casual about it and it bothers me. I don't help move things in but I stand out in Dean's drive way and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Maybe I am overreacting. We all have dinner together and it is very filling. Everyone sits around and chats after dinner. Everyone is up beat and happy. I'm forced to bring everyone back to earth because I want to plan out what we need to do tomorrow. After we get everything planed out, everyone relaxes and starts joking again. Cory brings up a bunch of beers and liquor and begins to pass it around. I ask Dean, Jon, Mitch not to partake. They follow up on my request. I didn't want a bunch of drunks trying to defend them selves. We walk downstairs to find thats where all the kids are. They ask me whats going on and I tell them everyone is upstairs getting drunk. Leah, Natalie, Katie and Tiffany are playing with David in the corner. Dick, Jon, Mitch and I sit around and just chat. Tiffany joins us later. I tell them that the plan is to leave when the sun comes up so we can maximize our time with daylight, but that I doubt it will happen with what is going on up stairs. Thats okay, Dean doesn't like the morning anyways. Cory walks downstairs and begins to make strange noises and is very disruptive. He knocks some things over and they shatter and when I look at Dean he doesn't seem to mind. I guess those were things they were planning to leave behind. Efficient, I like that. I try to guide Cory back upstairs softly but it doesn't work and I resort to pulling him up. I wanted to relax, calm my mind and talk things over with my friends. Tiffany gets up and walks toward the stairs to go up and I'm about to reach out and I take a breath to ask her to stay, but nothing comes up and I let her go. We set up our sleeping bags and get everything ready for bed. I want some people to at least get a good nights sleep. I go up stairs to see how everyone is doing and to suggest that people should try and get some rest. The Johnson's are drunk and Tiffany is looking after them, and the Franklin's are also drunk. My parents are doing fine and so are Dean's parents. I suggest sleep but my words just go through the two drunk families, but the mildly buzzed families tell me they will take care of everyone upstairs. I walk downstairs and Tiffany follows. I feel bad because now its only a group of drunk parents up stairs I they are pretty defenseless. I walk down and some of the younger kids are sleeping. I tell Dean, Jon and Mitch that we might need to keep an eye on the parents up stairs. I tell them to have their weapons ready just in case. Everyone in the basement thats not already sleeping crawls into their sleeping bags. Before I roll into mine I throw another blanket over the youngsters. We all lay there and just chat about random things. The parents are pretty noisy upstairs. Slowly people begin to fall asleep. I think Dean and Tiffany are the last ones to fall asleep. It sounds like most of the parents upstairs are starting to fall asleep too. For some reason I can't go to bed. I just roll around under my sleeping bag and stare at the ceiling. I get fed up and I roll out and I just sit there on the couch with my chin on my hands. Tiffany and Dean are sleeping next to me and they look peaceful, almost smiling in their sleep. I tip toe to the bathroom and take a piss then return to the couch. I check my pistol to see if its loaded. Fully loaded, good. I walk upstairs to see how the parents are doing and they are all snoozing. They all looked relaxed and it makes me comfortable just looking at them. Dawson and Cory are sleeping on the table with drool hanging from their mouths. I sit at the bottom of the stairs that connects the up stairs and split. I look at all the shoes in the little room. I look at the door and I keep imagining something busting through them and it makes me grip my gun tighter. I think I sit there for a couple of hours and then walk back downstairs to try my luck with some sleep. I jump into my sleeping bag it the ruckus wakes Dean and Tiffany up. They ask me what I'm doing up so late and I just tell them that I couldn't sleep and that everything is okay. I lay there, and soon I doze off.

Morning. Sunny and humid. When I open my eyes I see some of kids that went to bed first are awake and my parents and Dean's parents are packing things. I get up and nudge Jon so he wakes up. I figure Dean won't be much help in the morning, and a grumpy Mitch wouldn't do us any good. Jon and I start cleaning and packing. Most of the parents are still sleeping. Slowly everyone starts to wake up about a hour later. All the people upstairs are grumpy and hung over and they all try to wash up. I can't believe how relaxed they are and how careless they are. The plan was to leave as soon as the sun came up and we were already plenty late. I just tell everyone to hurry the fuck up. While people are washing up I pack everything and set it by the door. When everyone is ready we meet up to talk the plan over. I feel like I have to tell everyone a billion times because they aren't taking things seriously. We have to incorporate the new group. I think of a new line we are going to drive in, I tell everyone to switch contact information, I assign weapons and go over other details. Everyone looks like they understand. I start thinking to myself no wonder Tony died, he joined a group of idiots. I go back downstairs and discuss things over with Dean and Jon before we load the cars. I tell them how upset I am with everyone being so damn calm. They tell me not to worry, but it doesn't help much. I go back up stairs and tell everyone its time to roll. Before we open the door I talk to my parents and make sure they understand what is going on. I think about riding with them, but I didn't want to set a bad example. Got to follow the plan. I make sure they have their weapons and everything they need. I give them all hugs and tell them we will talk soon. I give the people at the door the signal to open the door. Before Dean, Jon and Mitch walk out I tell them to keep their eyes open. I tell them that the others are to relaxed and that we may need to step up. A couple of people grab some bags and walk out casually. Dean, Jon and Mitch walk out without any bags but station them selves so they can cover the others. I walk out with my family and I grab a bag from my Moms hand and set it into the Suburban. I watch Leah and Richard hop into the car then I head back in the house to grab some more stuff. I give Dean, Jon and Mitch a head nod on the way in letting them know I like what they are doing. As I walk in I see Tiffany trying to carry a heavy bag up the stairs so I help her. I grab it from her and carry it out to the Johnson's ride for her. I ask the Johnson's how they are doing and they joke around. I go back in to check if we have everything and it looks like we do. I tell everyone else to double check. While people are going in and out I stand with Dean, Jon and Mitch on guard. I tell them that they should go in quick and double check too. Everyone comes out, and Dean's Dad locks the door behind him. I tell everyone to make sure their guns are ready and to drive safely. Off to Canada.

Ueumatsu

Damn spring break goes by fast! Its Friday already! It feels like I didn't have time to do anything. Today I am going out with the family to go watch a movie and maybe some dinner too. Then I plan on hanging out with some peoples.
Yesterday I woke up (duh), got cleaned up and went out for lunch with my Mom. We stopped by the bank then hit up Applebees. Had the Oriental chicken salad or whatever its called. Its damn good. After we got some lunch we stopped by the Unique since they are right next to each other. I looked for a keyboard but they didn't one. I also looked around for some cheap speakers but no luck there either. Got home and read and sat around. Jon came over after school and we played some melee. I read and organized the computer and laoptop then took a nap which turned into me sleeping. Looks like another beautiful day out that will be put to waste. Well now I am going to format my laptop and organize the computers.

Oh, before I leave, a couple of new YouTube joints up uploaded. I didn't want the blogs to be cluttered with videos so I will just post the links.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57wbF1NKWNo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBJ4g6xqVCU

Don't waste your time if you're busy.

Nobuo

The weather is so nice and it kills me that I am wasting these wonderful days. Hopefully it will be nice this weekend. Yesterday I spent my morning reading like I have been over spring break and then went out with my Mom quick. Got home and then Peter came over to pick me up since we planed on making some music. What sucked is that his Dad moved a cord for the keyboard I was going to use so we didn't end up making shit. I thought we should try the thrift store close to his house but they didn't have the cord either so we were doomed. Peters Dad got us some pizza so we grubed for a little while then Mitch came over and we played some Melee. Weum joined us later then Megan and Gallus came over so we quit Melee and played some Catch Phrase. I love that game. After we played some other little games and then we just sat around and chatted. Thats pretty much my whole day. I can't think of anything else I should mention right now so...the end.

Sick

Being sick sucks. Thats fo sho.
This will be my 60th Blogspot blog which is kind of amazing to think about because I think it took me near 2 years to do 100 blogs but I've only had blogspot for about 3-4 months or so.

Oh, fantasy baseball is set-up! Please join! Its the usual Yahoo set-up.
213667
streak

Yesterday I sat around and read my library books for the first part of the day then Jon came over for a while and we played some VG's. Little Mortal Kombat and Melee. Then Mitch came over and we went to Unique to take advantage of 25% off Tuesdays. I got some sweet stuff. Mostly for next winter but thats alright. Hopefully I will still be into the style when next winder rolls in. Not that I am fashion guru or anything. I don't really follow the trends, but my likings change. After Unique we went to Cub to hit up the deli but they were closing so we just dipped to Taco Bell. Taco Bell two days in a row. Yum. Then we went to the cheap theater and watched Pursuit of Happyness (Happiness). It was a good little joint, but I expected my heart to be tugged at a little more. Still, for 2 bux, it was good. The movie showed the struggle so many people have to grow through financially. Money causes so much pain, and rarely does it make people happy. I wonder why someone ever set-up a system were everyone seeks out such a sin. Its to bad, but we are so far into the mess, we don't have a choice but to accept the life we live. I am grateful for everything I have, because I know there are people out there that have to much power that could make my life a hell. The government is a scary thing. I don't know what we see in Bush, its scary to think he holds so much power. He just seems like a shell walking around. But he is our leader and I will stand by that. Another thing that struck me in the movie is that people cry when they are sad, and people cry when theya re happy. Both sides bring tears. I never thought of that, I just always thought of tears as a negative thing. I mean, I've always recognized the phrase, "Tears of joy," but why do we cry? Its natural, we can't control, we just do it. What do you think our body/soul is telling us when we cry? And why are men ashamed of crying? Why is there a feminine connotation with tears? Its such a natural and human thing to do. Its to bad that our society puts so many restrictions on such basic things. I am reading a meditation book, and one explanation for meditation is the harmonizing of the mind, body and soul. I think thats a great explanation. Thats what I always thought it was. So with that said, I think crying is a form of meditation. You feel better after you cry right?
I've also been reading this dream book. The idea of applying strict meanings for dream themes is stupid to me. I am reading the book for fun, cause its kind of cool to know what other people think the meanings of my dreams are. I guess some people believe that we are living two lives, one in the physical world and one in the dream world. I don't know if I believe that, but its something to consider. I think dreams are a honest message we try to show our selves. In the physical world, we use defensive mechanisms to block out anything we don't want, but in the dream world, our soul attempts to show us the truth. The book is set up like a dictionary, so I just went through the book looking for themes that matched my zombie dream and I found some cool stuff. I made it through the C's and I think I am going to list a few cool meanings.
Being accompanied by a friend means that your surroundings will change. Love and support will accompany you.
A risky adventure means that you are committed to long term plans.
Being ambushed means that your problems aren't solved by a single answer, but rather 3.
Escaping an attack means that you should look after youself first, then others.
Going to Canada with friends means that you enjoy amusement to much.
A few cool little things to think about.

Oh, one last thing. Yesterday I came across the news that one of my favorite bands, The Early November, plans to break after the tour they are on concludes. It seems like all the bands I grew up listening to are fading away. I guess I better start exploring new music like I did so much of back in the day. I am planning on giving The Early November a Station4 good party when the come through. Thank you Early November for all the great tunes! One more party before you guys fade.

Alrighty, I need to do me some fantasy baseball research, some homework and read some more library books. Yahoo!

Spring Break. What It Is

I am going to try and blog a little bit each day while I'm on spring break. Shouldn't be to hard.
My hands are cold as fucks right now.
I just made me a really good sandwich.
Alrighty, so yesterday I woke up and didn't do much for the first half of the day. I sat around and read. Then later Mitch came over and we hit up a few spots. We went to the library first and I got myself a shit load of books. I got a encyclopedia/dictionary on dreams, a conversational Japanese book, a book on adobe premiere, a book on meditation and two books on hypnosis. No way I'll get through all of them by the end of my spring break but oh well. After the library we went a thrift store in Osseo then we went to the Unique. We didn't get anything but we scoped some shit that we might get later. Then we came back home and played some Melee and watched some videos on the computer. We hit up Taco Bell where I slowly consumed 5 double deckers on accident. I only wanted to eat 3 but somehow I ate 5. Now I feel like I am getting fat and I want to get out in this amazing weather and excercise but there is no one to get active with and I hate running for no reason. Its weird because when we are playing sports, I can run for ever. The motivation of the ball and the competition fuels me. But running for fun, I can't do it. After Taco Bell we went over to Petes and played some Melee with Weum and Jesus. Came home and crashed because I was really tired for some reason. I never thought a cold could sap so much energy from me. God damn I want to get outside and be active. Its a damn shame no one is on spring break.

You know whats a sweet book, The dictionary. Well, a sweet ass website in my case. I like going on dictionary.com and looking up random words. The definitions of words are so cool. Pride: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. How cool is that.
Along with dictionary.com, looking up random things on wikipedia.com is also sweet, even if it is an unreliable source.

I miss the game Catch Phrase. That game is so sweet. Next time you play that game, think of the people that suck at that game. Want to know why they suck at that game? Its because that person is narrow sighted and self centered. They want people to understand what their thinking, when you should be the one trying to understand what the other person is thinking. Don't make them guess your word, guess the words that are inside their heads. The sucky player doesn't want to dive inside their teammates head, and thats what seperates the good Catch Phrase players from the bad. There are players in my group of friends who can't explain for shit. Everytime they have to discribe a word, the "clicker" stays there forever.

I may have seen the first attractive Asian female ever the other day. And the sad thing is, it wasn't even in person, it was via DVD. I was watching the making of Advent Children and they got to the voice actors and the Japanese voice actor for Tifa is kind of cute. I knew it would be a Japanese or Korean lass that would break the mold because the rest of the oriental cultures have some funny looking people. Looks like they have autism or something. So congrats you Japanese people, you are beginning to make a believer in Asian women.

Mitch and I are planning to hit up the Unique Thrift store today because on Tuesdays you get 25% off on everything. I scoped out a sweet jacket and a sweet coat yesterday that I want. I just hope no one snags them before 6 because thats when we will probably get there. Pray for me!
Nice and short.

Loyal: faithful to one's oath, commitments, or obligations: to be loyal to a vow.
faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity: a loyal friend.

Big Bad Cerberus

"Who is the hottest baldy?"
-Britney Spears
-Kevin Federline
-Mr. Clean
Is that even a question?

Quick little blog about my uneventful weekend.
Well, except for Friday. I forget what I did earlier in the day. I don't think much, sat around. Then a couple of cats came over and we played some Melee until we had to pick Dean up. After we came home and played some more Melee. What else is there. Then! 300! The epic movie I've been waiting so long to see. It didn't disappoint. It was everything I expected. It had everything I could ask for in a movie cinema wise. Every part of the movie was artfully crafted. Nothing was ignored. The background, the characters, the outfits, the transitions, etc. The story was amazing. Full of morals I value. There are so many lessons that can be learned from the movie and I hope all us took a few of them away after watching the movie. I know I did. After the movie ended, it felt like my whole body was on fire. I was burning up. I am sick and I thought maybe I had a fever, but I don't think thats what it was. I think so many feelings, emotions, ideas, and morals, were circulating through my body that I just started burning. On top of all that, just the pure visuals that I had to deal with added to my being overwhelmed. I was engulfed by greatness. 300 basicllay stood for everything I believe in cinema wise, and morally. The movie also had good timing in my life. There was a lesson about love, and expressing to the people that are in your life. There is a part in the middle-begining where narrator talks when the King is leaving the city after he just said his goodbyes to his wife and child. The narrator says something about the King not being able to say that he loves his family because that is sign of human weakness. And I thought to myself, "Is that really true?" So what I want to achieve is making me weaker? But then later in the movie when the Spartans face darker times things started to flip. The Captian loses his son, and the Captian says the thing he regrets most is not being able to put his pride aside so he could tell his Son how proud of him he was and how much he loved him. I think message affected the King as well and I think he regretted how he want about the part where he left his family. This whole idea made me feel much more comfortable. That even the proudest beings can express love without shame. It is okay, it isn't weak to rely on others. There are people out there that want to help. Just one of the lessons I learned.
Here is something that made the movie a little sour for me. After the movie Mitch kept trying to make admit that I liked the movie, but crafted his words to make me out to be a hypocrite. Of course I liked the movie, I knew that I would before I watched it, he knew this. He asked me, "How did you like this comic book turned movie?" I am not a big fan of the comic book turned movie idea and he knew this as well. The stories aren't enough to keep me interested. I can watch the Spidermans, X-mens, Fantastic 4's, but they never last in my memory. I think those movies are just visually impressive and that alone can make someone millions. So people keep pumping those out. I want the whole package. But Mitch asked me the question while we were leaving our seats and I told him that he couldn't compare this movie to this shitty comic book movies. He later asked me again in the car. He was driven to make me look like a weaker person. Luckily, Dawson was there to fight him off with me. He told him that Frank Miller is considered a Graphic Novilst, and Mitch had no arguement for that.
I just learned that Zack Snyder, the director of 300, also directed Dawn of the Dead (2004). He has another movie in pre-production right now slated for 2008 called "Watchman." Based on a novel written by Ian Rankin (tell me how you like it if you've read it). If he can pull that one off to, I will suck Mr. Snyders dong. Look for it. I will also be looking for any other Frank Miller joints coming out as well. Sin City and 300 did not disappoint. I may actually just read one.
After 300, we went to Jon's and played Melee for a little.
Sat. I guess Leah had some special school thing so I lost 2 hours of sleep. So after church I took a little nap and when I woke up, Jon and Dick were watching DVDs in the basement. I had planed a big melee day but I didn't get any calls or texts from anyone so I figured everyone was busy. Andy came over later and we cranked out some good melee. Later we did some voice overs to a couple of animes. They were funny to us, but I doubt they are funny to anyone else. I'll YouTube them regardless. After we rented Fanal Fantasy 7: Dirge of Cerberus around 11:00 pm and planed to beat that by Sunday night. We slept over at Jon's killing about half the game til 5 am. Then woke up and finished the rest. An okay game, but we expected that after reading some reviews. Basically played it because we are going through a Final Fantasy 7 craze. Helped clear up some gaps in Vincent Valentines story. Also made me like Yuffie a little. I wouldn't recommend this game however.
That was basically my weekend. Little melee, more melee, 300, church, melee, melee, voice overs, Drige of Cerberus, sleep, Drige of Cerberus, More Dirge, then sleep. What a spring break.

The Pre-rush

Here is a quick question I need answered bad. Is was MySpace bought by Google? I know Youtube is a Google branch now, but didn't someone buy MySpace as well? I'm just worried because if Blogspot is a Google branch, and MySpace is a Google branch, well, once Google goes down all my blogs go with it. Thats a lot of time, energy, and history. If they are both Google, I am going to make a 3rd service and transfer all my blogs. I'm thinking about printing all of them. That would take a while though. Someone who knows, let me know.

So I was thinking about what I did with my first day of spring break and really all I did was blog. Woke up, went to school, sat there for 10 minutes and then left cause our T.A let us go early, went and blogged for a while, took a Korean oral, blogged, went home, blogged, chilled with Jon and played some Melee and Winning Eleven, blogged. Haha. Kind of sad. Blogging has consumed my life. That'd be sweet if blogging was a job. I could blog for people that suck at blogging haha. Damn, I'd have no knuckles and wrists after 2 years.

So I just had left over pizza and while I was eating it, I thought about the texture of it and just the texture of food. What type of food texture do you think people like in general?

300 is tonight! It is so weird to think that I've been waiting for this movie for like half a year. I waited for the Taking Back Sunday concert for half a year and it was worth well it, so lets see if 300 can do the same.

I was thinking about getting started on the third installment of my zombie dream but I don't to be writing for to long. I got to do some chores and get cleaned up and ready for my date with 300. Then I was going to write a Melee letter but thought nah, fucks it, I'll do that ever I jot some notes this weekend. So I think I will write out some Advent Children parallels for fun.
Don't eye boogers suck? And don't cold sores suck?
Anywho, I think I've watched Advent Children like 6 or 7 times in two weeks now and that offically makes me a fag. I just enjoy it and I pick out new things each time I watch it. Sometimes I see new things in the background, sometimes I just see things in the fight scenes I didn't see before, etc. One time I watched and I applied all the personality traits in the movie to the people around me. Clouds group and my group. There are similarities but not everything matches up perfectly. The do have supernatural powers and materia and all we can do is run (for short distances and slowly) and jump for about a foot haha. But the cool thing about the characters in the story is that they all have their own personalities and so do we. Sometimes I don't even think about it but my mind makes comparisons. It just happens. But it is fun to think about. Would this be the time to use the word adieu? Is that spelt right? Where is that word from? Fucks it.
I think the character that matches up the closest with somone in my life is Cid Highwind and Andy Christenson. They even kind of look alike haha. They both aren't super athletic or super strong, but they are both very serviceable and effective. Also, I always thought of Andy as my get away driver and Cid is the person who flys people around it the movie/game.
After that, no on really matches that closely, but you can draw elements from multiple characters to match our group.
Like Jon reminds me of a Yuffie Kisaragi personality type, with a blend of Barret Wallace fighting style in the position of a Vincent Valentine. Jon has this innocent personality where nothing really phases his kindness just like Yuffie. His fighting approach has always been a Barret type where offense comes first and the only defense is using brute strength to move the enemy. But Jons position isn't as low as a Yuffies. Barret is pretty respectable, but I see some Vincent elements in him too.
Dean might be one of the harder ones to pair up. I guess Dean just has a unique personality. I guess arguments for Tifa, Aeris, Red, Rude and Vincent could all be made (Sorry I had to use so many girls for Dean). I think Dean has Tifa qualities because Dean is fucking hot. No, not really haha ("How is Tifa regarded the hottest Final Fantasy 7 character when she is all pixa...*tit, tit*...oh"). But I think he matches with Tifa a little because he looks after people more and I think Dean has more vision and appreciates teamwork. Also Tifa's quickness reminds me of Dean. The motherly figure thing goes with Aeris to. But Dean is more reserved like Red and Rude and thats where that comes in. Red also has a quick fighting style and Rude has a more smooth fighting style that combines well to fit Dean. The two characters are reserved and so is Dean, but Dean knows how to smile and thats where the chicks come into play again. On top of all that, Dean kind of fits into the slot of Vincent. A higher figure and Vincent also doesn't talk much and knows how to obtain knowledge.
Mitch is also kind of hard to line up but I can see where he defintely has some Barret qualities. A more brute approach and likes to yell (haha) at things. Barret also has an element to him where he looks after people. But it seems like he looks after some people more then others, and that is the same with Mitch. But I don't think Mitch could fill Barrets shoes (For one thing, Barret is black). Mitch has a hint of Cait Sith because Cait has a big mouth and likes to shout things out. With all of that, Mitch might fit best in the role of a Turk. Can't say which one would fit best. Maybe Tseng or someone.
Peter might be a little easier to find a spot for. I think he has a lot of Reno qualities. Often talking with the enemy and taunting the enemy even though most of the enemies are very tough. And sometimes talks out of place and ruins plans. Always has an opinion and is willing to help. Just the way Reno carries himself, full of confidence reminds me of Peter as well.
If Peter is Reno, Nick has to have some Rude qualities. Even when they were trying to spin off of my zombie dream, they worked together. Reno and Rude provide some comedic relief together and Nick and Peter are very capable of doing that. Nick is a little more quiet around unfamiliar settings where Peter has to skill to talk at any time. But when set in a familiar location, Nick has the ability to be louder. Kind of like Reno and Rude. Rude has a stronger fighting style then Reno and this also matches the two.
Kind of impossible to fit Dick specifically into something. I think some Red, Cait and Turk qualities could be made. He kind of fits Reds position. Has the more of the Cait innocence and voice. Isn't afraid to talk, and his a more bitter innocece like Cait which is different from the innocence Yuffie possesses. But I thin Dick has some Turk qualities to, I just don't know which.
WORD!
Now to get ready for my day.

Yay, Spring Break!

Just strung out some good Melee with Jon to start my spring break. One on One training, battle of the titans like the good old days. I forgot what it feels like to duel like that.
Tommorrow night equals 300. I am so ready to see this epic movie.
Today, I was down at the U for 5 hours, but I had class for a total 20 minutes haha. What a fucking waste of my time. I went to my history discussion and our T.A told us to start our break early because he planned a library feild trip but the library wasn't able to organize it out. So I sat around and wrote blogs at a computer lab. Then I had my Korean oral for 10 more minutes and went back to blogging while waiting for Joe to get done with class. I got home, chilled, ate, V.G'ed, now I'm blogging before bed.
Here is a good survey question. Are you confident or cowardly? I would say I am neither (balance). This is a bad example for my example question, but who gives a fucks. Like I'm not confident enough to walk up to a girl and ask for her number or give her mine, thats ballsy and kind of lame. But I am not shy or cowardly to the point where if I need to ask a stranger a question I can't do it. I am in the middle. I don't shy away from challenges, but I am not going approach it head on and over confident. I'll play it defensively and be ready for anything.
While in the shower I was thinking about my last post, about being more free and honest. And I thought a girlfriend would be something to really help me be more honest and more sensitive. Of course that is if I hook up with the type of girl I am picturing, and not just some stubborn bitch slut. Someone I could start a new relationship with and be totally honest from the start. Not to have any old roots and habits hold me back. Someone I could call up everynight and just talk about life. I think it'd be neat. This is not a note of deperation though, don't think that. I've waited many years for the right girl, and in the grand scheme of things, I don't mind waiting a few more. I am not going to rush into anything. I sound like I'm getting married haha. But I just want everything to be perfect. Not for me, but for her.
A couple more topics before bed.
I wanted to talk about western medicine. I don't really take any type of drugs for anything. For recreation, for pain, etc. But the people around me pop pills so easily. That makes it sound like they are doing drugs (technically they are), thats not what I mean. Like someone will have a headache and they ask for an advil right away. Doesn't sound to weird right? But isn't that shit still a drug? Its called a drug for a reason right? A foreign chemical that isn't suppose to be in the body? Don't you think you have a headache for a reason? If you have a headache, your body is trying to tell you something. That something is wrong and you need to change the way you are doing something. But instead, people choose to ignore the natural message by taking some advil to cover up the pain. Just because you numb the pain receptors in your body does not mean your body is still hurting. I've never agreed with this part of western medicine. They have a pill for everything. I understand sometimes, drugs are needed. We can't fight everything. If we are deathly sick, we need something. I've taken drugs before, but I avoid them at all costs. I think people should open up and try some Eastern techniques because they have a lot to offer. This section was suppose to be more articulate and was suppose to have a stronger arguement, but its late and I'm tired. Maybe I will take some drugs that will make me go to sleep. Thats a joke. This is probably another reason why I won't ever need to smoke or drink. I don't take drugs that are suppose to help me, why the hell would I take drugs that aren't suppose to help me? Taking good drugs is ignoring pain, that means you aren't paying "Attention." Challenge yourself and suck it up. I get scared that taking drugs will make it so I won't be aware of my surroudings. I like being in control of everything going on around me.
Last topic.
My sister. She is annoying and still going through this "I am a beautiful suburban girl and I can have whatever I want when I want and everyone likes me" phase. I feel bad for all suburban brothers. I know that if she grew up in Minneapolis, she would never be like this. She is so stubborn to. Narrow sighted. Not open to anything. I think I am very open minded and its hard to talk to stubborn people that give no chance to any idea. I think my sister is conservative. It feels like liberals are more open minded people and have more vision, well duh. She is going through this horrible phase, where she praises everything I hate. I enjoy modesty, she needs to stick out and get all sorts of attention. I enjoy challenges, she wants everything done for her. I enjoy fairness, she wants everything her way. I believe in loyalty, she believes that a friend is only good of they have something she wants. I believe in honor and doing things to right way, she believes in doing things quick. Respect, no respect. I think being reserved once in a while is important, she doesn't. God, if there is a god, and you are listening, please strike her with a bolt of lightning. Don't kill her, she is my sister after all, but teach her a fucking lesson. I'll donate some money to your favorite church or something. What a fucking scam. The church is a joke and catholicism is the worst. You can get your sins washed away by a priest? Isn't a priest pretty much a messanger boy to God? So next time I can ask the mailman to change some government plans for me huh? Oh well, I am tired and I probably don't make any sense.

Night!

Can I Put 1 Year Of Actual Training To Use?

Nice. I finally tied up some loose ends that I left hanging in a few of my old blogs. Sucks that my blogs don't stand independent and how you have to read a bunch of them to get one idea. Oh well. Hopefully I will understand what I am talking up later in my life. Its kind of like those good weekly dramas that end when the show is at its most intense part. I remember its how I would always feel when I watched Dragon Ball Z haha. Its hard to believe that phase was 7 years ago now. 7 years ago I told everyone else to watch it and we sat in Dean's basement and drilled some DBZ episodes out. Mixed in some ping-pong and some Melee. Good times. When I think of those days I think of Culvers too. I haven't been to that place in so long. Maybe I will round the troops up and make a Culvers run. Might bring back some good memories.

Blogs have helped me focus my thoughts and vent so much. Its like having someone you can talk to and not be embarrassed to say something. You can talk about anything. Its always nice to get a little feedback from real life people too. And its much more comfortable hearing from real life people via blogs because you don't actually have to say personal stuff face to face. I think blogs have helped me become a more relaxed person. I'm the type of person that holds everything in and when it spills over I blow up. I never lash out at little things, but little things build up. So sometimes it looked liked I would spaz at the smallest things, and I guess I did, but it wasn't that simple. It was because of my hold it on personality. But with blogs, I can let go of some of the little things that bother me a little bit at a time. Why do I hold my feelings in and keep everything to myself? I'm not to sure why I do that. But the more I think about, I think its to protect the people around me. I don't want to put extra stress into their lives. Its my problem, why should they have to deal with it? Sometimes its their fault I feel stress, but again, I don't want them to feel bad so I just take it. Why don't I just reach out and ask for help? I don't fully know yet. I was asked the question on one of those chain bulletins, "What is your biggest fear?" and before I didn't know. But I think I know now, and my biggest fear is being alone. I think that is easily my biggest fear. So I think I keep myself apart from people, because I don't want them to know about my poor qualities. I don't want them to be offended by me and leave me. Maybe its because I don't want to get to attatched in fear I will be left in the end. Lots of reasons I guess. But when it all comes together, I am alone right now. I was also asked the question, "Who is someone you can be completely honest with?" and the answer was no one. I think I can tell my Mom anything, but there are language barriers that other parent child relationships don't have to fight. So it weakens our communication line. Other then my Mom, I truly don't have anyone I can tell everything to. And that is a fucking shame. My biggest fear is living alone, and yet I am living in that nightmare. One night at Applbees we brought up the question about love, and Andy said he wouldn't mind living alone. I never even thought of living alone and I don't think I could do it. How come I don't just share my feelings with everyone? What am I so scared of? I don't think I know these answers yet, but I will search. Right now, I think its mostly because I really do love people and I want to protect them. Slowly I've watched my blogs become more and more honest and real. I've grown. I thinking I am breaking out of this shell. But still, I can't share everything because I don't want to hurt peoples feelings and I don't want to mess with politics. In my last blog, there were names and things I couldn't talk about, because I know people can read these blogs. Maybe someday I can be completely honest, but not until everyone accepts me. Through out my WHOLE life, I've alway been concerned about not offending people and making other people comfortable. I've always thought about social politics before I said things. I was sooo cautious about other peoples feelings, that I completely ignored mine. I need to break out of a 20 year old habit. Blogs have started my way, but now I need to act like it in real life. I need to stop protecting other people so much, and start protecting myself a little. I've always had trouble saying that I love other people. One person who helped be break out of that sorry habit was Skye Peirce. One night in a phone converstation she said she loved me before she hung up, and for some reason I couldn't say it back. Then she came back and said, "I just said I loved you..." and only after that I forced myself to say it back. In highschool people acquaintances like Tony Seeman would always joke around and say I love you, but I couldn't joke around and say I love you back. Why?! It doesnt make us gay for loving each other as human beings. Thats not what I was scared of though. So really, what was holding me back? I don't know. Its such a serious word, and I don't feel comfortable throwing it out like that I guess. I guess I need to focus a little more attention on love and being honest with myself and others. Its something I will work on as I grow. Its going to be tough just to change it and to change it around people who are used to me being the way that I am. But if I don't want to be alone, I need to let people into my life. The best way to do that is to be honest with them, even if it means offending them from time to time, and to tell them that I really do love them. I need to wash away this nightmare. Maybe this is why Final Fantasy 8 and 7 are so appealing to me. Maybe subconsciously I role played the protagonists being me. If you have ever played the games, you know the heros internal struggles. I never thought of the parallels but they are there many. Maybe this is why I make parallels with the supporting acts and my friends (I will probably blog about this later for fun). At the end of Advent Children, Cloud says, "I'm Not Alone" and I choke up everytime. I don't even think about it, but maybe I am jealous. Maybe I don't actually like the amazing fight scenes and the CGI, maybe I am in love with the story? haha, I don't know. I got some fucked up internal defensive mechanisms that I don't agree with. (Papa Johns just dropped some pizza off, brb). Some good ass pizza. Totally lost my thought though, but it was worth it. Papa Johns Works Pizza is YUM! I'll just wrap this up quick then. I've been paying attention to my life a little more, found out I don't want to be alone anymore. I am going to be more honest and more loving. I will try to break from my style and write more honest blogs (Will be easier), and be more honest in person (Will be hard). Done. Glad that parts over.

Mitch picked me up from school on Monday and we had a good talk in the car. He brought up touchy subjects and I was cornered and had no choice but to tell him the truth. It wasn't so weird. It felt good. Maybe Mitch isn't as empty and numb minded as I thought. I've always thought he was a loyal and good friend, but I never thought he was smart (Oh god, the honesty begins). It made me feel good that I am moving in with him next year. I also think Dean is starting to understand how I view life a little better (I think he secretly tunes into my blogs) and that makes me happy that we will be all room mates next year. I had doubts, but they are both starting to wash those doubts away. I still have my doubts about Mitchel though, maybe he just had a moment. Sometimes it doesn't look like he has gears upstairs, where I know Dean thinks a little more. We will see, it should be an experience of a life time. We just need to work on Mitch's stinky ass feet! MY LORD they are bad! For people that are planning on some major melee in Jon's basement this weekend, smell his feet. BAD!

Here is something that bothered me last weekend. Andy said he passed up on smoking weed with a group of co-workers because he knew I disapproved. I played it off like I was proud of him but I wasn't. I don't want him not to smoke weed for me, I want him to do it for him. There is a long history behind all this and I don't care to write it out right now. Maybe someday I will blog about it when I have nothing to blog about (As long I have my zombie dream project, I will be blogging for a while). But I know he doesn't approve of smoking weed either, or at least he didn't. If he is against it, why do it? I remember the first time he tried it. Just a few days prior to the night he tried it, he was making fun of his sister for giving into social pressures. He was telling other peeople, "You know your little brother/sister are getting into weed. Thats bad." Then a few nights later, a group of people pressure him into trying it and he does. This comes back to my last blog about hypocrites. I hate them. So if he was trying to get people avoid the drug, and making fun of people who failed to stay clean, why is he avoiding it for me and not for himself? I don't want to get to deep into it and maybe rise some bad blood. I don't know who reads these things (I usually get 50 views per blog and 2 comments). And I don't want to damage anyones reputation. Its just confusing to me. And the night he tried it, I was close to him and he said something I will never forget. Everyone was passing it around and it came to me and I passed and then it went around to Andy and couldn't resist. After he took his drag, and everyone patted him on the back and gave him his props, he looked to me and said, "sorry." Sorry for what? Its your choice. Another friend had the exact same experience with one of his friends and his friend said the exact same thing. It bothered the hell out of my friend to. We didn't know why it bothered us, but we both knew it bothered us. I don't know. I wish I had my attention then haha. I think Jon just came over. End of blog. More later.

Apparently I can...

Can I Put 20 Years Of Imaginary Training To Use?

I am sick as fuck right now. This is what I get for having so much fun Sunday night. There needs to be balance between fun and work and I tipped the scale to far and now I am paying the price. Worth it bitch.
I noticed I use the F word plurally, Fucks. Does anyone else do that or is that just me? I haven't heard anyone else use it that way so I don't know where I picked it up. I like it though, its sexy as fucks.
I am hoping to take some good Melee notes this weekend so I can post the first offical Melee letter and second ever. If other people have some Melee input please write it out and send it to me so I can add it in. I'd like that. Maybe we will get famous someday for starting a Super Smash Bros. Melee newsletter. Haha, there are a lot of nerds out there. This is a reminder to self, but I plan to write out some old traditional rules that we made in the melee blog. Many of the traditions are not used anymore since a new wave of players have entered but I think it'd be fun to write them out. A bunch of unwritten rules and the idea behind of character claiming. I got a bunch of character questions this week and I think it would be helpful to clear that up.
Alrighty then, this is something I've wanted to blog about for a couple of weeks now but I haven't found the time to. Over this whole school year I've felt myself changing and growing (I think) as a human being. So many things have changed in my life and I've experienced so many new things and I've thought of so many new ideas and it all came at me so fast and at first. I wasn't able to focus all the energy coming at me but lately I've been able to sort everything out and it has been very beneficial. I think I've grown immensely. I've noticed my self being much more aware of everything going around me and I've been able to think more critically and spiritually about everything, but I still wasn't able to focus everything down to a fine line. A couple of a weeks ago we had a guest speaker in my Career Exploration class. Her job is to help people focus on the more spiritual and natural human elements of life. She is usually requested by business people who get burnt out because of their jobs. Those people basically become shells and they need her to instill life and a soul back into them. I've always thought this type of stuff was amazing. I'm not a fan of math and human made sciences but rather the natural ideas of life. Who really gives a fuck about a human made science when we don't even understand ourselves as human beings. This is another reason I think music is so amazing. Music moves our souls and makes us feel things (I believe this even more now after Underoath). But don't get me wrong, science has helped us all and hurt us all in many ways. I appreciate what science has done, but its just not for me to research. Lucky for the people who want to research that shit because thats where all the money is. No one gives a shit about finding out if we really have souls and why we are here. Religion has already answered that right? I'm a little to open minded to accept that right away. Anywho, I digress. Guest speaker. She had us do an quick exercise and it completely made sense to me. First she had us close our eyes and "listen" to everything around us for one minute. Before she gave us the sign, a bunch asked her what she you meant by "listen?" She would only explain by saying "Listen." She gave us the ready set go and for one minute the room was silent and we "listened." We discussed what we "heard" after the minute expired. Some people said they heard nothing, some people said they heard the heater rumbling. I heard the heater mumble and I heard my inner voice talking to myself trying to figure out what was going on. Then she told us that we were going to do it again. BUT, that this time we were to think about someone we hated or a time we were mad while listening. She gave us the ready set go and the minute began. Then we discussed what we heard. Some people told their stories about what they hated and others said they just heard the heater again. But those people who were really thinking about things they hated, did not hear the heater. Nothing special? Wrong! This is what she was looking for. She wanted to teach us about attention. Those people were paying so much attention to the things they hated, that things around them were passing unnoticed. If things pass our lives unnoticed, how do we know we are actually missing things? We are all ignorant, some more then others. Its really sad when people are ignorant about obvious social decencies. I know many people at this level. But again, I digress. Attention, what an amazing element of life we all ignore. She was able to put into words what I have been doing over this past year and expanded my vision even more. It just blew me away. She also said something about half of us don't even show up for our own lives. The quote blew me even further. So many people are narrow sighted, and thats really to bad. I've always felt that I see things differently then people but I've never been able to express it. Why? I'm not sure, maybe I was embarrassed, maybe I was scared, maybe I couldn't articulate my feelings, maybe I did it to protect the people around me (More on all this later). I just totally lost my thought. Fucks. I might have to end this section shorter then I planed. But ya, it was an amazing lesson. I was already growing and expanding my vision rapidly lately, but after that day, I took another big jump. If I can achieve a complete 360 degree range of vision on life, that would be amazing. Maybe the only way to obtain this skill is through meditation? I want to find out more about the human being. Not about the anatomy, which is also fairly interesting, but passed the guts and into the spirit and soul.
I think this vision and attention helps in all aspects of life. This is a very bad example, but Melee. Where Dean, Jon and I can see so many things blazing by in slow motion, others can't. Its weird for me to think that people have such a different range in vision. Maybe because I've always had fairly good "vision" and attention (Remember, I say everything humbly, even though it doesn't sound like it. But I need to be honest, more on this later). But even in Melee, I think I am separate from Dean and Jon. Its so hard to explain the way I feel because I just feel it and "see" it. Its to difficult to explain it someone who has less "sight" cause they just wont see it. I tried to explain it to Dean one time, and through time, I think he is finally understanding what I mean. Its nice to have someone understand you. Its nice not to be alone. Its fun to joke about.

Damn, my list of blog topics are all serious and kind of depressing. I guess its my inner "emo" coming out. I hate that word, but society understands that word and I will use it the way many people use it.
Here is a funny story that just happened to me though. This girl just tapped me on my shoulder and I turned around to say hi and she just sat there looking at me for about 5 seconds. I was like, okkkkaaaay (inside of course)...then she finally said oh, shoot, I thought you were a different person. Bitch, don't you know who I am!? I'm the mother fucking juggernaut bitch!
"Bitch, I've never seen you in my LIFE!"

Through all this attention, I've realized a quality of life that is REALLY important to me. Balance. I don't know how I am going to explain this. Again, I know what it is cause I just feel it and see it. I am not a very articulate writer. Definitely not a poet. Its hard for me to express my feelings in text. More of an intuition guy. But balance is something I really value. I hate hypocrites with all my heart and I avoid being one at all costs. But sometimes I look at my own values, and think, wow, you contradict yourself. But I've paid more attention to it now, and its not contradicting myself, its striking a fine balance. I take surveys online once in a while for fun and many times I find my self split on questions. Like for example (I dont know if its a good example) I might get a question like do you like organized settings or free settings? I like both! I like it being organized so it isn't complete chaos but I like it free because I hate being tied down. Its kind of like Donnie Darko's "Fear" and "Love" spectrum (I think those were the to sides). Oh, and I get questions like are you serious or humorous most of the time. I'm both most of the time! I take things very seriously, but humor is very important. I'm serious about humor. So I hope people don't look at me as a hypocrite, because I have my morals strait and although I might not be able to express my self sometimes, I am never being hypocritical. I think I have a very complex personality, deep and full of layers. Makes it hard to understand me sometimes. But loyalty is an important moral of mine, so it should give us plenty of time to learn about each other. I got asked the question, "What do you look for in your dream girl?" on one of them chain letters. And I didn't know how to answer it. I guess I could write out a 1,000,000 page novel explaining it out, but I'd rather not. But now I know how to explain it in a few short words. Balanced and complex. And Beautiful haha. I want her to be balanced and open minded like me. And I guess just good at living. I want her to be complex, so I can spend the rest of my days trying to figure her out. So I can spend the rest of my days falling in love with her more and more each day. I met this guy a few months ago (Bad follow up to my hopeless romantic column, haha, very bad) and he seems to have his shit together. I wish I could write out his name, but that'd just be a little to weird right now I think (more on this later). But he challenges himself and it just seems like he has a grip on things. I've only known him for a short while so I don't want to give him to much credit and be way off.
I have one more serious topic I wanted to bring up that kind of links in with all this personal shit but I have to roll soon for my Korean oral and I think I will just hold off until I get home.
So something random. I was thinking about how amazing Sunday night was and it made me think of the night we camped out for the Wii. That was really a fucking good time. Sure it was cold, and we were hungry, but it was sooo much fun. I wish I could go back to that night too. Sitting outside with my best friends goofing off and being the most charismatic group there. Bumping our music loud and singing along. Playing little football mini games. Playing 2v2 street hockey. Chatting. We waited for a long time, but it felt so quick. Just another one of those things I probably won't be forgetting for a long time.

20 years, or just 1 year?

Concert Blog: Part2

Lets recap
Snow storm so no school Thursday and Friday.
Watched Advent Children and smashed out a lot of Melee at Jon's.
Warm up concert on Saturday but was bummed out cause Meg&Dia and Jonezetta couldn't drive their little ass vans through the snow. Still a really good show.
Bayside held it down. Bands I don't like listening to always impress me live.
Anberlin was amazing. Stephen has an awesome live voice.
Watched Advent Children again with Andy and crew after some Applebees. Applebees ran out of boneless buffalo wings that night. They fucked us.

Big day Sunday.
Went to Old Country Buffet with the gang for a good ass 1 o'clock breakfast.
Went back to Jon's house and cranked out some more Melee. Still sharp as ever. Watched the Sephiroth fight to inspire me again.
Got to the Myth and waited in line. People were amused with our Geek Squad shirts. Weather got colder as the sun went down.
Got into to Myth and was amazed at how nice it was. Bathrooms are bomb too. Walked down the stairs to get to the floor. Examined the Myth. Got a mean case of the bubble belly waiting for Armor for Sleep. Pre-rush started way to early and everyone was cramped for an unnecessary 10 minutes. Armor for Sleep came on and ROCKED the whole world. Amazing set. Was confused about why people didn't take a step back during the intermission because it was very cramped. Turned out okay because I met a amazingly beautiful lass. Small talk is stupid, don't do it. She was very funny. Underoath came on and the crowds motion took her away. I was sad, but couldn't be to sad because Underoath, the greatest band ever, was playing. Rock hard. Amazing how much energy Underoath plays with. Greatest show in the world. Went through the craziest most supernatural experience in my life.

This is where I will pick up.
If you haven't seen Underoath live yet, and you are into the same music scene as I am, PLEASE go see them. PLEASE! You owe it to me, to them and to yourself. Simply the most overwhelming thing you will ever experience. It honestly felt like they played for only 15 minutes, but they must have been out there for like 40. To put out that type of energy for 40 minutes, I think they must be possessed. Every single one of them and no exceptions. I don't understand how Chris (Keyboards) can keep his focus on the keys when he is jumping around the way he does. Tim, James and Grant (Guitar, Guitar, Bass, respectively) are amazing for being able to head bang and throw their bodies and guitars around the way they do and produce the intense sound that they always do. Spencer (singer) and Aaron (drums/vocals) are in a league of their own. Spencer is able to go from one side of the stage to the other jumping around, screaming at the top of his lungs and is still able to pump out focused notes. Aaron is the most intense drummer I have ever seen and plays to the crowd so amazingly. On top of that he does a lot of the singing. I don't understand how Aaron's drum set makes it through half the set because he hits his pieces so hard. I wonder how many sticks he goes through. The way Aaron sets up explosive parts in their songs is just how I envisioned it happening. I wish I could explain everything but can't. I can't wait til Warped Tour so I can see these guys again.
Underoath crowds always make it tough to keep your footing and breath since they are moving so much. During last years Warped performance I was tempted to leave the crowd because I didn't think I would make it, but I gutted it out and I am glad I did. This time around Jon wanted to leave and I made him stay for one more song before we left. I got to watch them from the back of the venue and it was still incredible. While in the crowd I kept looking to see if I would bump into the girl again but never did. Oh well. And while in the crowd something happened to me that I could never begin to explain, even though I tried to in my last blog. I was thinking about it and maybe I was hallucinating. There is smoking in the building and maybe I inhaled something prior to Underoath that tripped me out. I don't take any type of drugs for anything so my tolerance for a foreign chemical would probably be low (More on drugs and Western medicine in a later blog). I plan on doing some research on meditation and supernatural events over my spring break. I also want to learn how to speak Japanese and play the piano. Maybe I will start those projects over spring break too. Along with music. I wish there was someone I could talk my experience over with.
During the break between Underoath and Taking Back Sunday Jon and I went to the bathroom to get a drink and ran into Nick. We walked around for a while and drank a lot of water and stepped onto the floor to get our spots for Taking Back Sunday. Oh, while leaving Underoath, Jon and I made a quick circle pit stop. This guy from the other side just drills Jon so Jon charged up and got him back. Blasted the Mo Fo. Anyways, Taking Back Sunday. We were planning on maybe staying in the middle of the crowed for TBS but that plan quickly faded. We just naturally keep progressing up and up. While we were jumping around this guy in front of my turns around and it just happened to be Dean. I was pretty much shocked because I just figured I won't be seeing anyone but Jon the whole concert. TBS played a lot of their old songs from even before the Fred era. It was pretty neat. I was disappointed that they didn't play Photograph is Proof and I thought there was a chance for New American Classic to be played. By the end of the TBS set I was elbow length away and 3 smashed rows from the fence. Its pretty amazing that you can fit the body's in such a small space. It was probably the closest I have ever been to the stage if you don't count those little Warped Tour sets. Dean and Jon got a little fatigued but they managed to stay a few rows behind me. TBS finishes but they are the headliners and of course have to play an encore set. Adam comes out with an acoustic and an harmonica and strings out some tunes then is reunited with his band. Their encore was pretty long, but no one is complaining. Overall, the best concert I have ever been to. During the TBS set these two annoying kids were trying to request a song by singing at the top of their lungs and it got very fucking annoying. All the people around us were annoyed and if Adam actually heard them, he would'a been annoyed too. They have their songs already picked out you dummies! The show ends and the crowd begins to disappear. The floor was littered with shoes (Slip ons and flats haha) and random articles of clothing (Lots of bras). Dean, Jon and I caught our breath and tied our shoes before we started to look for the others. When we finished I had to give my two bros a pat on the back because I couldn't have scripted a better ending to the greatest show ever. The original gangsters fight through and in the end are left standing together. Glad I could share the experience with those two. We head towards the back and run into the rest of the guys. Mitch got a new TBS waffle shirt which is really nice and Nick got himself an awesome Underoath Tee. Mitch and Peter are completely dry which was nice for when we go outside. This is the first time I saw those two since the pre-rush. Nick hung in there with us for most part but now had a ripped up Geek Squad shirt and was pretty wet. Dean, Jon and I barter with the bartender and managed to snag a free cup to use in the bathroom. Leave into the cold night, got to the car and changed into my dry cloths (brilliant idea I thought of after Anberlin, I will do this for the rest of my winter concert days). Got home, showered, got ready to finish some homework and sleep at Dean's place. Leah got home shortly after I did and shared her backstage stories. Her connections got her back stage so she got to chill with Armor for Sleep and a couple of TBS members. She said they were all awesome, of course she would say that though. Oh! After Taking Back Sunday finished Dean showed us how he pissed his damn pants. Taking Back Sunday was so amazing Dean pissed his pants and I don't blame him. Good work.
I wish Sunday night didn't have to end. What could possibly follow up such an amazing night? Definitely not revising a Rock paper (at least it dealt with music though). But what do you do the next couple of weekends to make them not seem so empty. At least 300 opens up this weekend and I'm thinking after I see that I will have a lot of things on my mind I will want to talk about. And of course there is always Melee, and lately I've been clicking and I was to polish that skill so I can tap into at will. So this weekend doesn't look to bad and after the weekend my spring break kicks in. I have a lot of things planed so I shouldn't be bored either. But still, it was such an amazing night and I was I could go back. Its like longing for your youth, knowing you can't ever have it again. Oh well, at least Warped Tour is coming up.
Thank you to everyone that was there for being part of such an amazing night. I don't think I will forget it any time soon. Thank you to all the bands too.

Concert Blog

I got a lot of blogging to catch up on but blogging about concert weekend comes first. I will hopefully be able to tie up all the loose ends I left from last week later this week.

I think last night I had a dream where everyone I cared about and everything that meant something to me betrayed me and left me. So it was more of a nightmare. I only remember some of it, but it doesn't matter because I am going to write about the concerts now.

Concert Weekend!
I didn't have any school Thursday or Friday because of the snow storm. So Friday started out when we went to go pick Dean up. Then we went to the thrift store, then to Cub Foods and lastly to Blockbuster to rent Advent Children so the rest of the guys could watch it. When we got home we watched Final Fantasy: Advent Children. (I will no longer be using the shift button on this keyboard cause it sucks and my fingers hurt from having to push it so fucking hard). then we put in melee and turned on some concert tunes. i was really clicking in melee and i think advent children really motivated me to play differently, but i'm not going to get into that since this is the concert blog. sat started with a little church. then i got home and we went for a quick mcd's run. jon couldn't make it to the anberlin show because he had hockey plans so we tried to get someone to take his but failed. we get to st.paul probably 30 minutes before the door opens so we sat in the car for a little while. maybe with 10 minutes left we jump in line. we get stuck at the back of the line next to this garage with crazy graffiti written in it. "god is dead" was one thing written i believe. everyone is freezing their asses off out in the cold and 10 minutes seems like forever. mitch beings to turn into this weird purple color. the line starts moving up and when we get to the door there is a note on the door that says that meg and dia and jonezetta will not be playing tonight because they couldnt get here cause of the snow. which sucked hard because i was looking forward to seeing those two acts the most. get a tour bus losers! so we get in an check the place out since non of us had been to station4 before. its pretty much a little shit hole. its just a bar with an unfinished basement attached to it. we claim our little area center stage and 10 comfortable rows back. we sit there for an hour and a half with no action. a little over that mark the sound check beings. it was very frustrating. just because two acts are missing doesn't mean that you guys cant start early and sound check. bayside was now the opener. they had a very good set. i cant really listen to their music but they were really good live. thats how it is for most bands i cant listen to. i cant listen to their record but i enjoy live shows. bayside played a longer set to make up for meg&dia and jonezetta. they played a couple of really neat acoustic songs. sound check for anberlin begins shortly after bayside leaves. during the intermission i talked to the people around and ran into a maple grove citizen that i had met before. anberlin had really cool lighting and put on an amazing show. stephen has an amazing live voice and their guitars sound really good live. anberlin also played a longer set because of the absentees. they played a radiohead cover and played some acoustic tunes of their own. i was mostly just blown away by stephens voice and i had a lot more to write about anberlin but i totally forgot everything after sundays show. it was a nice little warm up concert.

sunday was the big day. it started out with a little old country buffet around 1-ish. then we went back home and listened to concert tunes while spanking out some more melee. i watched the last battle in advent children to inspire myself again and it worked. 5 o'clock rolls around and we dip out to what looked to be the greatest show ever. we get to the myth pretty easily since nick and peter knew where it was. we slip into the middle if the long line that snaked through the parking lot. everyone gave us these weird looks because we all wore our geek squad shirts. the line moved very very slowly. we get padded down and our tickets scanned and walked into the myth. right away i was amazed at how nice it was. we all had to piss so we looked for the bathroom which was also very fucking nice. after we got all that jazz done we went on to the floor which is very nice and claimed our spots. i could feel the bubble guts starting to jump in my tummy. just seemed like armor for sleep could jump on the stage at any moment. the pre-rush started a little early so we cramped for an unnecessary 10 minutes or so. we lost peter in the pre-rush and i didn't see him for the rest of the show. armor for sleep made their entrance and an explosion of relief blew up within me. they just kept cranking out amazing tune after amazing tune. i couldn't stop from jumping around and singing at the top of my lungs. i never know how it happens, but somehow jon and i always push our way to the front. i dont even remember who was with my for armor for sleep, i just know i was with jon the whole concert. the crowd surfing began and the circle pits opened up and the crowd began to sway from left to right. the people around us were really friendly and that makes the concert 100% more enjoyable. i think i fell once or twice during armor. falling down at shows is a big fear of mine after my chemical romance at warped tour a few years ago. armor ended with "the end of a fraud." it was such an amazing set and the best opener ever. i tried to pace my self but it was armor and i couldn't hold back. i didnt feel that drained though which was good since underoath was next. usually in between bands the crowd settles and there is room to breath, but for some reason the crowd remained cramped between armor and oath. it was okay cause the people around me were awesome. for some reason at shows i just talk to everyone around and can bond with them quickly. it doesn't matter who it is. i wish i could do this everywhere and not just shows. (this African girl just sat next to me and she fucking stinks! like cheese!) i met this incredibly beautiful girl between armor and oath. i asked her if she was okay since she was smaller and then things just clicked after. she was amazingly nice and good looking. she said she was alright but that her tits her from being smashed in between guys, and then made a joke about how she doesn't understand how they hurt so bad because they are small. that makes me sound like a fucking creep, but hey she said it. and it was a funny comment but i didn't know how to react to it. if i find it to amusing, i come as a freak and if i don't show any interest i might be offensive or dull. i just gave her a giggle. it did make me happy that she told me that though because it kind of showed that was comfortable enough around me to make jokes about herself like that. we just kept on talking for a little while then underoath had to ruin it haha. but i was soooo ready for underoath to play. i wanted to ask her for her myspace (haha, how romantic, how baller of me, myspace, *embarrassing*) but underoath came out with so much energy. i was going to ask her in between songs but she disappeared into the crowd. fucking shame. so if random chick to my left between sets comes across this blog...uhh...ya, friend me. but back to underoath. i just don't even know how to describe them. i have trouble describing any of my concerts because its all feeling and there is so much going on, but its impossible to explain underoath. after sunday, they have to be my favorite band. i'm not even going to attepmt to explain it cause it would just fail and let them down. but i do want to touch on one thing that happened to me during oath. it was the most supernatural experience i ever felt. i lost control over my whole body during one of their slower, deeper, darker breakdowns. it was sooooooooooooo fucking weird. i've never felt anything like it before. my body got so tense, but i felt so comfortable. my body started to twitch by itself and i couldn't control it. i started crying and i couldn't even choke back any tears. my eyes locked on spencer and aaron. i couldnt even sing alone. it felt like and probably looked like i was about to morph into a werewolf. i felt so empty but fulfilled at the same time. i felt like i was dying but never felt so alive. it is probably something i will never feel again. the craziest thing is i didn't hear or feel the people around me. i am in a crowded venue with crazy rock fans jumping around and i didn't feel a single body. I couldnt hear anything except for oaths music. everything turned to black except the stage and jon standing in front of me. i couldn't move and I wonder if people were running into me just bouncing off of me. my feet were a part of the ground. maybe i watch to much sci-fi or something, but i know what i felt and it is something i could never begin to explain. i never really believed in meditation, spirits, ghosts, ying and yang, and stuff like that, but after this, i may do some research. i really touched me in a way i've never been touched before. it changed my life. i need to understand my body more, because what if this is something we all have inside of his but we don't know how to tap into it? i sound like a mad man and i would never believe in something like this if it didn't happen to me. i just wish i could explain it so i can talk it over with people. but even if i could, who would believe me? maybe there is a book out there that knows what i'm talking about. i have to find out what happened to me.

i'll finish up on oath and do taking back sunday next time i blog. korean class now...yay...

"Nigga Get Off Me, This My Bus Stop"

I woke up this morning and I said "Mutha fuck the Police" and I didn't go to school. I said I ain't no ones bitch...and the fact that is snowing like crazy and the fact that Joe wasn't going to school and I didn't have another ride. But still, it was mostly my decision. I woke up at 8 today, which is weird since I wake up at 8:30 on usual school days. I woke up less tired and more ready for the day which again is weird since I went to bed later too. I hit the sack around 12:15 but probably didn't go to bed til 1:30ish because I had to much stuff to think about. Its not like I am under a lot of stress or anything, but I just like thinking. I woke up at 8 and talked to Joe and then laid there for another half hour thinking. I catch myself thinking and talking to my self a lot (Attention, more about this later). I got out of bed an thought to myself, well damn, a day all to myself, I am going to get all my homework out of the way and to some chores I've been meaning to do. But no. I hopped on the computer and I've been Wikipedia'n, google'n, and just been doing all sorts of online research on random things I've been curious about. Its a little after 2 now so from 8am to 2pm I've been been basically doing Jeopardy homework. I've been reading up and looking up shit on a wide range of stuff. I looked up Ellen G. White, Seventh Day Advintists, Number of the Beast, Satan, Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart, Tifa Lockhart, Vincent Valentine, Fanal Fanatasy 7 and 8 (to bad no one gives a fuck about 9) and Advent Children, different terms like concept albums, musical refrain and burden, I've been looking up different interpretations on songs and other things, I've been looking up movies and bands I've been meaning to check out (Can't wait for 300). The internet is such a rich source of information. I learned things about serious and spiritual topics like the the number of the beast 666 and I learned about stupid little updates like Amber Pacific having a song in the up coming TMNT movie (Also about their new CD coming up soon!). It was fun. What a waste of day and a day well spent. My Mom just gave me an Ellen G. White book to read that she had called "The Desire of Ages." I've never been much of a reader, but my my thirst for random and important knowledge is at an all time high. We will see how deeply I can dig into the book. Oh, and for those of you in the circle, I just called Dean to tell him that I got off the phone with Adam and Fred to tell him TBS just called the show haha. And another random update, U of M just cancelled all their classes haha. The Osseo school district doesn't call school off but the U of M does. What the fuck is that? Let the youth enjoy thier days. Everyone bitches about how they miss their innocent youth when they get older, well maybe we should give the kids more opportunities. Ya feel me? I thought you might.

My Mom is cooking something up stairs and from a distance it kind of smells like piss.

That reminds me, I have to bring something about stink. The other day just did it for me, I was thinking my observations over the past might just have been coincidence but I just don't care any more. We look at black people and think big lips and gangsters, Mexicans as dirty and poor and we give Asians small eyes. Here is another stereotype you can add to your list. Chinese people have stinky breath! Now I don't know if these people I were talking to were Chinese but they had the names (Li, Fangs, etc). They could have been laos, or all those other Chinese cultures, but their breath was stank. My old math teacher last semester, chinese and stink. My Math T.A, Chinese and stink. The group of chinese helpers I had yesterday, stink. And I don't even know how I got paired up with that group. There was a table full of whites and one Chinese section and that spot just happened to open up when I was the next in line. I ask the lady, who was very nice, "how are you?" And she replies, "gHOod, THank YOu. HOw are YOu TOdAY?" Please don't asperate any more, I'm dying. Oh well.

I usually blog about my weekend on Tuesdays since I don't actually time on the weekends, but this Tuesday I ran out of time and couldn't. So I am going to finish it now. Oh, "Inevitable" by Anberlin just came on. This song rocks! I think I finshed Fri and Sat. Sunday...hmm...seems like it was such a long time ago, but short at the same time. (Balance, more on that later). I woke up pretty late and sore as fuck. I think I laid in bed for an extra hour or something just because I didn't want to move. I had to inch my way out of bed, it was horrible. But I eventually rolled out. I had homework in mind since I had a exam on Tuesday, Wed and a quiz and paper due Friday. Before I started on my homework, I decided to watch Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children and it was fucking amazing! I thought I'd watch it since I am a fan of the Final Fantasy games, Dick said it was good and it was due back soon. I didn't expect much from it, but it blew me away. The story and characters and CG texture and how artfully the movie is done is incredible. The story has so much depth to it. It would take me a while to discribe everything but it just has so many elements in it that I believe in. The characters all have their own rich personalities. I love the story and characters cause I can apply them to my life, I mean, I'm not going around jumping off buildings and shit, but there are parallels. The computer graphics are amazing. If I could create something that visually stunning with a computer my life would be set. The heavy Japanese anime feel is awesome to. The time and gravity manipulation, most of people in our generation would understand as bullet time or "The Matrix." The transitions in the movie are crafted so artfully. Its just fucking awesome. Its the perfect appetizer to 300 which comes out soon. If 300 lives up to its name, and is actually what it appears to be, its going to be, to me, everything a movie could ever stand for.

Spring break is coming up and here is a list of video games and movies I need to kill.

Video Games:
1) Final Fantasy 7
2) Final Fantasy 8
3) Kingdom Hearts
4) Kingdom Hearts 2
5) Dirge of Cerberus

Movies:
1) Butterfly Effect
2) Sin City
3) Crash
4) 300
5) Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
There are more, but I forgot.

So I started writing this blog at 2 and now it is 5, but I haven't been writing this whole time, that would some serious writers cramp. I went outside to shovel the snow, which now seems pointless cause everyones driveway is covered again, but I don't look at it that way and it was good exercise. I went out to help my Dad do our driveway, and then I thought about going over to my neighbors and doing hers. She is this old lady that I have never talked to my 7 years living in Plymouth. I thought it would be really nice to do something like that for her. Her husband of like 50 some years passed away not to long ago. I never properly got to meet him and I think I talked to him at the most 2 times. On top of that, I've been reading a lot about philanthropy lately. Jane Addams and Andrew Carnagie are the top two figures that stick out in my head. And on top of that, in my career exploration class I learned that we grow most as people when we take risks. We learned that most of the time when people take simple risks, things never turn out bad. After I got done with my driveway I stood in my driveway thinking if I should do it or not. The snow was beating down on me and I just sat there, fighting with my own voice. I mean I've had plenty of chances to introduce myself, but I never did. And for some reason for me, introductions get more awkward as time passes. Then I just said fuck it, and I walked over to her house, take a risk, be bold. I walked up to her door girl scout style and I asked her if it would be okay if I shoveled her driveway for her. She told me that I really didn't have, but I told her that I wanted to. So she told me just to do the walk way and I agreed. I finished the walk way then I thought it would be nice if she had a path to walk in to get to her mailbox. So I carved a path from her door to the mailbox. She came out as I was about to finish and gave me some money. I tried to refuse to money as hard as I could, but she kept forcing the money into my jacket pocket and told me that I am a college student and that I needed it. Warmed my heart. Before she went in and asked for my name and I told her it was Min and she told me her name was Mary. It was just like a scene from a sappy movie scene. I always hear people talking about, wouldn't it be nice to live like the movies, well it isn't impossible. I am trying to take a new approach my life, and so far I like it (Attention, again, more on that later). While I was shoveling Mary's driveway , my other neighbor Brian was shoveling his. We weren't that far from each other so we chatted while doing our work negro slave style. Brian doesn't have a snow blower so I thought I would help him. And I did. So in total I did 3 driveways. Ahh, fuck you Jane Addams and Andrew Carnegie.

Damn, I was going to use this day to do homework and chores, but all I've done is read up on random things of interests, and clean snow for 3 hours. I may need to cut this blog short so I can write my Rock History paper. I had a list of topics I wanted to touch on too, like all those "I will get to it later" deals. Oh well. I'll save it for tommorrow while I wait for the bus.

The concerts! This snow better not fuck up with is suppose to be my greatest weekend ever. Damn you Meg and Dia for calling Mitch to tell him that you guys weren't coming! I know I've bloged about the concerts in the past, but I am so pumped that I am going to do it again. But really, its not my fault I've bloged about before, I mean I've had tickets to this Underoath concert since Nov! Thats almost a half year ago! so blow me. Sat: Anberlin, Bayside, Meg and Dia, Jonezetta at Station4. Should be sweet! Not as sweet as the Sun concert but a perfect appetizer. That new Anberlin joint sounds pretty sweet from what I've gathered. They have that really sweet song that I was listening to before. Bayside...well, ehh...I don't like them much. I will catch my breath during their set. My Meg and Dia hysteria has calmed down, but I am still really excited to see them. It sounds like they put on a good show and sounds like they have good stage presence and converstations. I just got into Jonezetta lately and I am excited to see them live. Their music is really easy to dance to so I will be acting a damn fool when they open. Sun: Taking Back Sunday, Underoath, Armor for Sleep. The GREATEST concert I have ever seen, or heard of I guess. I just can't even describe this concert and how excited I am. Its like knowing that I am going to be given the world on Sunday and now I just need to wait til Sunday. Its like knowing Jessica Alba is in my bed naked and just waiting for me to get home. Its like knowing the Kool Aid man is on the other side of the wall! I just get the bubble belly thinking about it. I've been texting my Seneses Fail friend about the up coming show lately and he sounds as pumped as I am. My Senses Fail buddy is this guy I met at the Senses Fail show, duh. Its weird to think about how I stayed in contact with this guy and I don't even know his name, and I talked to him for about 10 minutes 6 months ago. Kinda cool actually.

One more topic before I go start my rock paper (starting a paper is the hardest thing, and picking a title). Hockey. I only started paying attention to hockey in high school since I was around hockey a lot. And over those few years I tried to get into hockey. I tried to enjoy hockey but couldn't. It wasn't appealing to me, but I always respected it, or tried to, but hockey people made it hard. When we would have sports talks at lunch, a couple of times we talked about what sport is the hardest. Some would say golf and people would be like yeah, but hockey players would never admit anything was harder then hockey. A couple of times we talked about what sport requires the most energy. Everyone agreed it wasn't baseball, c'mon...but baskeball players gave football props and football players gave soccer players props and soccer players basketball players props and some people will give hockey props, but hockey players, only gave hockey props. Its frustrating to put up with such self centered stubborn people. Hockey players all act tough, but they are big softies. Why do hockey players fight? Because they have to prove to them selves that they are tough. Why don't football players fight? Football is much more physical then hockey, but there aren't as many fights. I tried my damn hardest to like hockey and respect hockey, but the people that represent hockey are dicks. Stupid suburban white boys who need to show off and get attention. I can offically say I hate hockey. I am on your ship Dean. The other week we played a little backyard football and well guess what, it was only the hockey players that got hurt. Not a little basketball player like Dean, not a skinny white boy like Andy, but the big "tough" hockey players. And I saw some of their injuries, it was nothing. The worst injury happened to Dean when his leg got bent in a way it shouldn't, but you know what, he got up after a minute and walked it off. This is even after he took substantial blows to the head. I don't mind when people get hit and they need a second to gather themselves, thats okay, its rough out there, but when you play hockey, a "tough" sport, and you get hurt on every other play in a friendly backyard football game!? That says something about hockey. I stick my fucking head in on ever play. I put my head down and get dirty. I rolled my ankle probably 3 times playing in that uneven snow. I got elbowed in the jaw. I tweaked knees and shoulders. I dive for balls and I've never seen a hockey player do that. Oh right, they aren't athletic and/or coordinated enough to do something like that. But never did I get up bitching about my injuries. I keep that shit to my self. Why? because I don't want to other team to know I'm hurting. I like to know that they are bleeding and knowing I'm untouchable. Why don't I share my injuries? Because I don't need peoples pity and attention. I am there to win a game, not to let people know I'm there and to get their attention. I don't need that. That is very suburban. Needy. And this isn't just the people I play backyard football with, its been every hockey player. All soft pussies. They look good on the ice, sure, but they are playing with other pussies. They need to act macho to cover up the pussiness. You know what other sport reminds me of hockey? Lacrosse. Now lacrosse isn't as bad as hockey, yet, because it isn't as big, but they probably will pass hockey soon since those brainless brutes don't even know how to keep the sport alive. But I've noticed a lot of hockey players getting into lacrosse and the lacrosse vibe is the same as hockey. And I can tell you from experience, lacrosse playrs are soft. I played two games, and people I knew told me I had the biggest lacrosse hit they have ever seen. And when I was out there, I could just feel how soft those guys were. Sure it was winter box lacrosse league and all those guys probably suck, but I still killed them. It would be the same if I went out on a junior gold game and killed people. Ross Petterson, a football player, went out and killed everyone too. But, Osseo did have a couple of kids playing for their team who were regarded as top 10 players on the state. So maybe it wasn't junior gold lacrosse game. Anywho, I am going to end this ass beating and start my paper. Minnesota the state of hockey? Sucks for us. Learn how to run a damn league fags.

I did catch a part of the Wild game on Sunday though. Watching Jon and Nick play and then watching them play was so different. I didn't know people could cut on ice like they do. When I watch my friends, everything is so rounded off when it comes to movement, but the pro players moved like they were on groud. And they were so fast and aggressive. Their passes so quick and accurate. It was crazy. There is this guy for the Wild, Boogaard his name might be. I like him. Is he actually good? I have no idea. I think its kind of cool that I taught myself hockey. Basketball and Football was learned with help from others.

Anywho, paper, time! ahh!

A Quickie

Sucks for From First to Last fans. That band has taken so many hits over the last few days and over the last few months. Sonny just quit to pursue his solo career and they also got dropped off their label (Guess Saosin made the right choice, tee hee!). A couple of months ago they were dropped from the Atreyu tour because of Sonny just having surgery and now they are in a financial bind. The music business seems to appealing, yet so scary.

Here is something I've been thinking about lately. If you are modest, or humble and you tell other people you are humble or modest, does that make you less modest or humble? I've always looked at my self and tried to present my self as a modest person (I already feel less modest just saying that) but I've always felt guilty for saying that about myself. Is that wrong? Do you guys look at someone differently when they say they are modest? I think modesty is quality that is earned through actions over time. But if someone asks you are you modest? How can you answer that if you really are? If you say No, they will think you aren't, and if you say yes, then you aren't. Being modest is kind of a lose lose situation. Do nice guys finish last? I think so. I envy people who are in your face and obnoxious but I hate them at the same time. I think I used to be more modest and humble when I was younger, and I thought about why that is last night while I lay in my bed (I think a shit load before I fall asleep and it keeps me up forever. Its where I get most of my blog ideas). I think in my younger days I was around people who appreciated modesty and that made it easier to stay modest. My Minneapolis friends acknowledged peoples strengths, they gave props where props were due. There was no need to brag, because the people you were close to spoke for you and you did the same for them. My old friends and I were all modest because we appreciated each others skills and we expressed that. My suburban experience is completely different. Suburban people are jealous and they deny that you are better then them. They don't give you any credit when you have clearly earned it and this causes a lot of tension. Not only that, they are quick to steal credit from other people. I had a suburban friend that would always steal my credit in public places. He would ask people, "Do you like my idea?" or "Member when I came up with...?" When clearly he was pawning off ideas I had brought up in our conversations. It bothered me, but whatever, nothing I couldn't ignore. But he was so intent on receiving praise. Modesty was definitely not a strong point for this guy. When you are around these type of people, it wears on you. I've been around these people 7 years now and I can see how I've changed. I am more flashy when I do things and I think I do seek more attention. I am more vocal, this I don't mind. I miss the old days because I think being humble is such an important part in being a good person. I miss childhood and my old friends. They knew how to separate the good from the bad. Its just the life I am forced to live now, and I can accept that, but sometimes you miss the good old days.

Here is a follow up to my little football outbust last blog. The other team had a goal line play and Dean rushed in to try and sack Mitch. Dean wrapped him up but couldn't take him down. Mitch does his best Kevin Dyson and stretches for the endzone and I knocked the ball out of his hand right before the ball passes the line. It was a close call but no one could tell for sure because of the snow. Mitch gets up and yells, "I was in!" and I asked other people for their opinion. After I ran the ball back for a touchdown, just to be safe, I asked Mitch and the others what they saw. I told everyone, "I couldn't see if the ball passed the line or was on the line." Mitch responded with, "well if the ball is on the line, thats a touchdown." Which is technically true. But why the FUCK would I offer the same answer twice?!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? Sure I could have been more percise and artitculate with my words, but can't people just infer and think for them selves?!?!?! And sure he could have just been informing me, but if you where there and listened to the condescending tone of his voice, thats not what he was doing. Why the fuck would I ask an A and B question where A and B are the same?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? I just don't get it. I hate when he does that too. He does it every weekend I just choke on my spit everytime he does it. That feeling of wanting to kill myself when I lose at something comes back with a different twist. I want to stab him in his forehead and then cut my self open from head to toe when ever he gets technical. Of course I would do it with a different knife cause I don't want to get infected from his nastiness. God damn that ticks me off, and lately I've noticed other people doing it. He is rubbing off on people. Pretty soon I will be surrounded by dummies.

One last thing for this quick blog. Another follow up. Last week I talked about how 70's and 80's rock sucks, and it still very much sucks. I proposed that only after the influence of rap, was music more organized. I was wrong there. In my U.S history class I was presented with 1920's jazz and blues. A lot of it was just instrumentals, but sometimes they had singing and it made sense. The lyrics and syllables fit into the music. So it is just 70's and 80's rock that fucks up on this concept. Well, in Rock History class we are learning about early rap and hip-hop. Rap is a genre where the background music doesn't mean much compared to the lyrics, so the focus is on the organization of the lyrics. While I was reading up on rap and hip-hop, I came across a word that discribed everything I was trying to get. CADENCE. 70's and 80's rock has no cadence. And that is a musical element I strongly believe in. Just makes things more tight/focused and poetic I think. But I guess cadence isn't an important factor to many people and thats to bad. Go listen to Comeback Kid and Dillinger Escape Plan then you losers. I'm not saying that all music needs to have this, some people can pull it off, but the oldies just don't do it right.