Go Eagles!...guess not

I'm blogging right now in the comfort of my living room while watching the mighty Eagles play the racist Redskins on Monday Night Football. The first half has been pretty mild but I'm hoping for a big second half out of the Eagles. I got a hefty chunk of my mass communications reading done today so I'm giving myself an unnecessary and unearned break. I say this because over the weekend, Friday included, I didn't do jack squat, so now I'm even further behind in my reading.

I was thinking today while I was eating my dinner, why do human beings need to eat so god damn much? When I say "much" I mean both the huge quantity of the food we eat and how frequently we need to eat. While microwaving my frozen noodles it felt like it was only a few minutes ago I had eaten lunch. Albeit it had been roughly 5.5 hours since my last meal, it still feels like I eat much too frequently. Why do humans need to eat so much? That is kind of a rhetorical question because I don't care to hear your scientifically fundamental answer, "It's because we are warm blooded creatures," cause I will just come back with a youthful, "Why?" and when you handle that one I will once again ask, "Why?" I think I've been paying attention to frequency of my meals more closely since tasty food is more difficult to come by now that I'm without the maternal safety net of my mother and since I am a college student with the stiffest of budget. I don't really know where I'm going with this topic but I was thinking about it while eating and I felt like I had to document it.

There has recently been two exceptional CD releases in As I Lay Dying's "An Ocean Between Us" and Chiodos' "Bone Palace Ballet." At first listen I gave As I Lay Dying's CD the higher grade, but just like their first CD it took a bit for the Chiodos CD to grow on me, and now that I've run through it about 25 times, I think it's safe to say it has grown on me. Right now my favorite song of the album has to be "Intensity In Ten cities." I think this Chiodos CD is definitely a progression and has lots of musical growth compared to their first CD. I love how they incorporated strings into their songs, I love the backup vocals (or I guess backup screaming would make more sense in this case), and I think the keyboards are more prevalent in this album. I think who ever is screaming now for the band is much better then Craig Owens as a screamer. When Craig does scream, it sounds like he is scared he is going to hurt his pretty throat. I get this vibe from from Mr. Owens that he fears straining himself when yelling because he to beautiful. This may not be true and just a misinterpretation, I don't know the guy personally, but just from his live performances and You Tube videos I get that vibe. So the new screamer who actually screams/yells is very refreshing to me. I think this CD would have made a better rookie album because I think it is easier to understand for the general public. The first CD is little more complex in my opinion. That doesn't mean the second album isn't bigger and more grown up (because that would just negate what I wrote above), because I do think that the second CD is much more dense and a lot more rich, but something about the second CD that makes me think it would have made a better first CD. I think it would be cool to see the CDs swapped in time periods but the growth between the CDs remain the same. But isn't that how it is with artists today - when they first come up its all about doing what they want and the artistic value of the music but once the music business starts coming into play it affects the music. I guess it really isn't their fault.

Before I end this blog and get ready to go work out I want to write about one more topic. I know I've written about my struggle to adapt to moving in with 3 other guys with abundance lately, but I haven't really written about it with detail so this will be my last bitch-fest unless something new comes up. I have a list of things that I've noticed since my stay and I plan on hitting all of them quickly. I must insert a disclaimer before I start that I am a little bit frustrated at the moment due to reasons I do not care to mention for the safety of peoples feelings. So if I write a little more directly and without cushioning my comments to accommodate to peoples feeling, I apologize in advance. One thing I have listed is the trash bin. Many times I've found the garbage over filling, yet no one has the courtesy to dump the receptacle. I don't see how someone doesn't get the message that if something is over filling, it needs to be emptied. It's so confusing to me because back at home, when the trash is full and you were the one to put it over its brim, it is understood that you need to toss it. I mean, if you don't do it when its full, who are you expecting to do it? Mommy? Min? I've decided that bringing the trash out is one thing I will not do during my stay here because I am responsible for so many other chores around the house. Rather, I will leave the trash bin out as a hint for the others to empty it. In fact, the trash is out in the open right now and has been out since the afternoon and guess what...it's still there. After a while I even opened the top to give another visual clue that it needs to be tossed but instead someone decided to put the lid back on. Hopeless. It's frustrating to say the least. I wish I could be more vocal about it but it's just not my nature to call people out on their short comings. I just don't understand how it doesn't register automatically. Did their parents not teach them the meaning of house work? I'm glad I understand how lucky I was to have my parents support me for so long. I really appreciate everything they did and still do for me and I think my peers take all the benefits of their parents for granted. It's a shame. They still expect someone to do everything for them and being the only person that understands this, the person that does all the house work will be me. (I just walked out to grab a cup of water and the trash is still there...sigh). Another thing that bothers me is how bad these people are at paying attention to details. I've grabbed a dish or cup out of the cupboard with stains all over it or is still wet. Stains mean someone just didn't wash it good enough and it bothers me when our dishes and cups aren't dried yet stored because the moister gives bacteria a necessary environment to cultivate. So I one day built up enough courage to propose that I am willing to clean the dishes alone and the response was incredibly disappointing. Actually, a response doesn't even exist. All I got was mumble from Dean, Mitch kept switching through the TV channels and Zak just sat their accompanying Mitch. I mean how fucking rude is that!? Here I am trying to get some guidelines figured out and offer to clean all the fucking dishes alone and they just brush me the fuck off? That really upset me and made me even more critical of them. Let me remind you that this is only two weeks into our year lease. I plan on having lunch with my Mom on Friday of this week and I plan on venting with her and apologizing for being a slob back at home. My friend Roshani has actually been helping me out a lot just by giving me someone to talk to which has been uplifting. She even came over and called some people out for me (intentionally or intentionally I don't know) which made me feel 100% better. Anywho, I guess they must not have heard my proposal because I often find dishes out of place and strange dishes in the washer that I don't remember washing. It's so obvious when others do it because I always put things in a certain direction and in specific places. Oh! That's another thing that bothers me, nothing ever stays consistent, everything is in a new place each time I look for it. Whether it be the items in the fridge, or items in the cupboards, or things that are layed out else where, etc. Also things never remain strait. I mean if you knock something out of place, put it back into fucking place, is it that fucking hard? Another issue I have with these guys are crumbs. If you spill something, CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP!!!!! Who the fuck do you expect to pick things up after you!? Mommy? Min? I don't get it. If something is spilled, it is obviously not going to move and clean it self. So it just sits there. I hate when someone makes a sandwich because there will be bread crumbs everywhere and I hate when people make ramen because there are broken pieces of ramen all over the stove top and kitchen floor. I must be the only one stepping on these crumbs because no one else seems to mind their new niche. So, if anyone wants some free ramen, please steal some from our place. I hate having to clean the tops of everything and the kitchen floor everyday because there are so many fucking crumbs. Clean up after yourself! Oh, and it is sooooo obvious who does what. I mean one time I watched someone make a bowl of ramen and right after the floor was littered. Not only that, they left the ramen packing out on the counter top. That amazed me. I even know who overfills the garbage cans because I see someone eat something and thats what I see overfilled ready to fall out of the bin. I mean these guys don't even try to hide it which makes me think they are completely oblivious to what they are doing. Which in turn gives me no hope. Another issue along with crumbs are stains. If you spill sauce or something, wipe it because it'll just sit there and dry. One time someone spilled a little jelly on our table and just left it. When I came home from class, I cleaned it, duh, who else? On top of being filthy, they are awfully loud at night. This one doesn't bother me as much and I think I'm just critical about this because so many other things are going wrong, but I mean they could be a little more observant and considerate since I usually go to bed at the same time every night. For some reason the guys think the best time to pump up the TV volume is when I go to bed. The best time to do laundry is when I go to bed, which sucks because the washer and dryer are connected to a wall that is next to my bed. On top of that, a couple of my roommates asked me for some of my music and I was very reluctant to assist them because this just meant more ammunition for them to play at night. So is being independent fun? Yes. Is having your own place fun? Yes. But I think the next 11 months will be a struggle for me unless I can slowly change these guys. With all that said, I know Dean is trying and without his help, I probably would have already snapped. (I think I just heard a new garbage bag being expanded, and this is right after Dean left the room. Surprise that Dean does it...no. I actually think he is the only other person that has dumped the trash other than me). Dean has offered to help clean the dishes, and I personally think his dish washing skills are up to par so I wouldn't mind letting him do it but I would never force it on him. He offered to help me this one day but I couldn't find a way to make it a efficient two man job so I declined and I don't know if I did it in a respectful manner. Just knowing that he cares and actually thinks about doing the dishes is good enough for me. Plus he takes out the trash and he actually wipes the counter tops and observes spills and stains. He even managed to clean out the microwave once, something I forgot to clean. So much respect to Dean. But really, if I had to guess before the move in, would I have guessed all this would happen any other way? I don't think anyone would have guessed Mitch being the hard worker and clean one over Dean. Oh, and we've had guests come over on weekends that haven't helped much either. I saw someone grab items and move it to another area for no obvious reason. There was no significance in the move other then it made the desktop messier. My favorite guest is Andy or Dick easily. Andy comes over, puts his shoes in line with the others, minds his own business, doesn't beg for attention, cleans after him self, is fun to be around, etc. Dick comes over and just plays games haha. Roshani is also a fun person to have over and she is totally someone I can talk to about my struggles. I don't know...I feel bad that I have to scrutinize my friends and maybe I am to critical and to much of a neat freak. I feel bad sometimes that I am like this, but I don't think being clean and considerate is to much to ask of any human being. More the considerate part that bothers me. I wish Jon were one of my roommates because that would make it 3 people who could look after each other and clean after them selves because I know Jon's parents taught him how to clean after he eats. I've seen him do it and he even cleans after all of us after we eat over at his house. Dean usually gives him a hand, and I try to give him a hand when ever I can. But enough bitching, plus its late and pasted my bed time. I must admit it feels good to vent.
I wrote this quickly towards the end so sorry if it's undecipherable.

Lets Call It A Night

It feels like I've been doing homework forever but really I haven't done anything. I've just had this giant political parties course packet in my lap all day but every time I try to read it I get distracted. It is time to be honest with myself, no more homework except for the things that are due tomorrow because today just ain't my day. I'm going to take a little break from homework and blog then I'll probably go work out and then wrap up some loose ends up before bed. Lately it has felt like days are made up of 10 hours. Everything just moves so quickly now. I wish I had time to go outside and enjoy the last few weeks of pleasant outdoors weather and enjoy the suns charity on my skin but with all this school work I've been trapped in my apartment. Plus, the U of M campus is sometimes just to crowded and loud to walk around but at the same time I love how alive it is. Just depends on my mood I guess. Back home when ever I wanted to be outside I would just text Jon and we would find an outdoor activity. That is a luxury I no longer have and something I probably won't experience for quite some time. The thought just makes my heart sink deep. Time and happiness are such valuable qualities we all take for granted. I was cleaning my bathroom after class today and I was having one of those conversations with myself and I thought about the phrase, "time is money" and I thought to myself would it make sense if we said "money is time?" I don't think it makes sense when you flip it around. I think we are so quick to trade in our time for a couple extra bucks, but I would any day trade money in for time. If it were possible, I would like to exchange some money right now to rewind the clock back to when it was summer. When my cell phone would wake me up around 10 just to be snoozed four times. When I would walk out of my room and limp to the bathroom to the sound of my little brother playing Maple Story. When I would make brunch for my little brother and myself while I wait for Jon to get off of work. When I could see my parents when ever I wanted to. When Jon lived down the street and we would struggle to find things to do but we managed to amuse each other every day. That is what my happiness is made up of. I frequently take little 5 minute reading breaks when doing my homework where I just let my mind rest, but this whole week I end up thinking about summer when taking those breaks. All sorts of pains set in when I realize it is almost going to be an entire year until all my wishes will be lived. I try not to think about it since all I'm left with after my break is a huge knot on my throat. I think I feel helpless knowing that I can't make my brother's, my parent's and my friend's days better when I'm not around them. At the same time, I know I shouldn't worry so much because my brother isn't a baby anymore, he is a high school student. My parents are probably the most gifted people I know; I need their protection more then they need mine, duh! I am lucky to have some friends around me and I guess I miss the ability to just walk down the street to see Jon when ever I want. I just can't help but feel lonely.

Ever since we moved into our apartment, Dean and I have been down to the little workout room every night, except for last Saturday when we had company. Well, I've been down there every night but a couple of nights shouldn't count because I got down there late and I had homework left over so I only stayed for like 30 minutes. I am hoping to work off this baby fat. It is convenient that we can just walk down a flight of stairs and get our work out on but it feels so time consuming with school. They have these cameras set up in the community rooms here at Melrose so we can just turn our TVs to a channel to see how busy the rooms are and I just checked the weight room and now would be the perfect time to go down and I'd rather start earlier rather then late so I can be down there a little longer. Plus, I have some left over homework and I start early tomorrow. So more blogging tomorrow.

Her

I need to take a homework break so I decided to blog quickly. I can't be here to long since I have a quiz tomorrow and I still haven't read one of the chapters. I plan on skimming the chapter quickly and hope I pick up the key terms. Not only do I need a homework break, but I need to blog because my soul really needs it. Ever since school started my heart has had this ache and I just can't shake it. I have no idea what is bothering me, but I just get sad and lonely so quickly so I am using this blog as a way to let my heart speak and vent a little.

My blogging hasn't been as regular as I imagined and this is because I switched my class schedule around a little. Last year I got to blog regularly because I had so many breaks between classes and so much down time waiting to go home with Joe, and I thought I could use the breaks between classes this year to get my blogging back on track. The problem with this is, I no longer have any breaks between my classes. I barely have enough time to make the journey across the Washington bridge to get from class to class. Originally I had hour breaks between 3 of my classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but a course change closed those gaps. I start at 9 am on M,W,F and end at 12. I start at 10 on Tuesdays and Thursdays and end 12, pretty solid eh? Anyway, those class gaps gave me a perfect excuse to blog a bunch but now I no longer have that luxury. It is harder for me to blog when I'm home because I have to clean after the three other dudes and I could just be doing homework. Regardless, I plan blogging at least once a week but hopefully more. I can't complain though, the class set-up is real convenient and class has been going smooth so far. I'm a little behind, but really when aren't we behind with school work.

A couple of topics before I get back to learning about journalism ethics and morals. On top of my random heart-aches, which don't feel like physical heart-aches so don't think I'm having heart attacks, I've been stressing out a little too. A lot is changing not only for me but the other dudes I live with as well. The thing is I've learned I'm sort of this control freak and I feel out of sync when things don't have a certain flow or pulse to it. I'm sure the other dudes are adjusting as well, but they seem so much more laid back then me and I get this feeling that I am getting on their nerves a little with all my direction and subtle criticism. I read a Max Bemis (Say Anything) interview towards the end of my summer vacation and he explained the difficulties about being the leader figure and a control freak and it made total sense to me. He explained that when you have these qualities, you will often be the hated one but you have to accept that and look to strike a balance between philanthropist and disciplinarian. I am trying to find that balance in my new setting but I fear that it might take a little while and I hope things don't crumble before then. I think I need to draw lessons from my experiences as a friend to help me adjust to this new lifestyle. Looking back at my career as a member of "The Hood," I think I did a good job balancing things. Some might say I was unfair, and they might be right, but I did what I believed in and I think things turned out better rather than worse when you look at the over all production. Even just this past summer my logic was challenged by a friend, and I had to step back and re-evaluate my reasoning because I often doubt my self and I try to view my actions in the third person in hopes to keep things fair. I've come to the conclusion that I can't please everyone, but I think I live a fair enough life where I don't obstruct other peoples way of living. In the case of my apartment, I think slowly we will all begin to learn each other preferences and we will look out for each others wants and needs a little more. We will see.

Anywho, I need to go do some more reading so more blogging tomorrow.

To Much At Once

I just got done with the second of my three classes today and still not to much homework. I have a bunch reading in two my classes already but that shouldn't be to bad. I have hour gaps between each of my three classes on Mon, Wed and Fri so I should be able to use these breaks to blog regularly which is going to be nice since my blogging over the summer was very random. I wish I would have blogged during the last few weeks of my summer break because so much happened in a very short and I didn't have a second to spare. I got to hang out with the people most important to me everyday so I consider every moment of the last two weeks or so time well spent. I think there was a stretch in there where we slept over at Jon's house for 4 days consecutively. Remember in my previous blog where I mentioned that challenge Jon and I set for our selves? Well we failed horribly, I think I lost a consistent 2 pounds. I say consistent because your weight fluctuates so easily depending on what you eat and what you are wearing. There was a time within those last two weeks where Jon and I went to the Mall Of America two days in a row, once because we wanted to go to the Mall and once because we went to Ikea the day after so we stopped by the Mall. And then there was a bunch of random stuff like golfing, basketball, Perkins, Ben sleeping over, blah blah blah. Oh, and the official Melrose move in date. I moved a couple of my items in and we had the bros over and slept there for a night but then we went back to the neighborhood because we had things to do. Jon's last night before Duluth was an emotional one. I thought I wouldn't cry but when Jon gave me his goodbye hug I couldn't find it in myself to let go and I tried harder and harder to let go but I just kept holding on and the thought of letting go made me cry. Why are good byes so hard? Ever since that night I've been on an emotional roller coaster, if this is what PMS feels like I feel bad for you ladies.

I am now fully moved into Melrose and so far its been a good experience. Everyone gets along, everyone is respectful, there is enough food to get by on and the apartment stays clean for the most part. Well, it stays clean because of me because I am a neat freak and kind of a control freak. It is a good thing the dudes are a little more laid back then me. It bothers we when things are just thrown around and things aren't strait, it bothers me when there are crumbs all over the place, it bothers me when things are dirty so I have to clean it. It sucks that I've had to clean the dishes all but one time (Thanks Dean), it sucks that I've taken out the trash all but like 2 times (Thanks Dean), it sucks that I have to pick things up, fold things and wipe things down, but it just comes with the territory. Last night the garbage lid wouldn't close because it was so full, but I bet you the person who filled it passed its brim didn't even think about taking the trash out. I just don't get how people could ignore something like that. A couple of times our sink has been full with dirty dishes and I know it would sit until I cleaned them. A couple of times I left the dishes in the sink and I left the trash full to see if anyone would want to take care of them, but no one did so I fixed it. I'm not really blaming my room mates, but it kind if sucks that I'm like this neat freak and I have to put all this energy into maintaining a clean apartment when I live with three other dudes. I wonder if girls are this messy? It makes me really appreciate living with parents who likes things clean and neat. I really miss the security of my Mom. I went home last night and I gave my Mom a big hug. Its only been 5 days and I miss her like crazy. I'll probably end up living at home until I'm like 45 haha. I miss my annoying little brother too haha. I'm trying to teach myself how to sleep with ear plugs because our room is very noisy. The air conditioning at Melrose is very noisy and so when people watch TV they always have the volume way up and since the TV volume is way up people have to speak over the TV so everything just gets louder and louder. And Mitch always does his laundry when I hop in bed haha. And last night Mitch just got himself a laptop and I could hear the music he was playing from his room since there is a vent that just runs through three rooms one being my bedroom. I've been going with the one ear plug technique and just smashing my other ear against my pillow so that when I roll over in my sleep I will have an ear exposed to collect the awful noise that my cell phone makes to wake me up. I am going to experiment with two plugs this weekend to see how that goes, since I don't want to miss my alarm just because I have ear plugs in. Actually, this morning the ear plug wasn't in my ear and it was no where to be found...so I might need to invest in more plugs.
Anywho, time for my Monsters, Cyborgs and Robots class...I think thats what its called.