The Second Blog From Korea

This whole journey to Korea wasn’t manifested over night, and has actually been in the works for a few years. I don’t remember exactly when I got serious about going, but I think it’d be safe to say about two years ago. My friend Ben Lee and I heard from church members that teaching English in Korea would be a job pretty much guaranteed to us. I was very close to accepting a job then and taking a break from college. I think it didn’t work out because the opportunity was moving too quickly and Ben’s parents didn’t want him to go during the middle of his schooling. The Korea trip was thereafter put on hold and looking back, I’m glad it was. I grew so much my last two years of college, and if I hate this job right now, I would have been destroyed if I would’ve came two years ago. I finished school, and lived the life of a middleclass bum for half a year working part time. I knew I had it lucky during those 6 months, and now that I’m here, I’d kill a small family to be back to living the life of a suburban bum. I quit my job in February of 2010 and there was an insane amount of pressure to do something with my life. I promised myself I’d do it big in 2010, and with added pressure from my parents, I scrambled to find something that’ll make everyone happy. I started putting my information all over the Internet, and within a few days, my Hotmail inbox was packed, and I kept getting calls late into the night. Most of the responses seemed like bullshit, so I ignored most of them, but I kept getting a call from a lady so I eventually started talking to her and it seemed she was genuinely interested in me coming to Korea. Things moved quickly, but eventually we ironed some things out and we booked a flight. Looking back, I should’ve waited until the next term before coming to Korea. The first term starts in March, and we booked my ticket mid-February. This didn’t give me or the school enough time to get ready. However, I was feeling pressure from my parents and myself so I took a leap of desperation, and I must say the leap has failed greatly. Well, “greatly” might not be the word because I’ll be taking something very valuable home even if I went home tomorrow. Rushing was my first mistake.
Rushing also forced me to say goodbye to my friends and family in about a week. I didn’t know it would be so goddamn hard to pack for the next year of your life and say goodbye to the people you love and saw everyday in one week. I was getting ready down to the last second. I slept maybe 30 minutes my last night in the States. Due to both needing the time to prepare, and because I was going through the entire spectrum of human emotions. During my last week, I was trying to spend time with my friends, but preparations made it nearly impossible. I would try to have movie nights with my friend Dawson every night, but the movie night would be interrupted, and on some occasions completely destroyed. One night we did manage to go out with Huy and enjoy a dinner at a restaurant. Dawson, Dean, and Huy came over my last night there to say goodbyes. I didn’t get to sit around with them much as I was packing and organizing final arrangements. I got to hang out with them for about an hour before it was time to say goodbye. I shared hugs with my guys, walked them out and shut my garage as they walked down my driveway. Although it was a frequent occurrence, the sight of my garage door shutting on my friends has never been so painful. I tried my hardest not to cry, but I’ve found out that I am very much a crier. I didn’t have much time to sulk as I needed to get more things ready. I gave myself 5 minutes, and then I gathered myself, shook off the heavy emotions, pounded my chest, and went back to work. When I was finally comfortable with what I had, I spent the remaining time with my little brother. There wasn’t much to do, and we were both tired, but just being around him was good enough for me. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to do so for the next year, so I tried to soak in every second. My brother and I finally agreed that we both needed to try and get some rest so we jumped into bed around 2:00 A.M knowing that we needed to leave the house something shortly after 3:00 A.M. I rolled around for a while, but I think I eventually fell asleep. It felt like going to bed would be a waste of memories. I wanted to remember how soft my memory foam felt, then pressure from my covers being wrapped around me too tightly, and the sense of security I had living under my parents’ house. I woke up the earliest because I knew I wanted to take a good shower, worrying that it might be my last good one for the next year, and because I wanted to feel clean or my 16 hour flight. By the time I got out of the shower, my mom and dad were getting myself loaded into the car. I walked around the house one last time, and held my dog for as long as I could. I didn’t want to let go of her. Usually when you hold her for an extended amount, she tries to sneak free, but this time she was willing to give me my time. I don’t think she understood the situation, and it was probably more because it was 3:00 in the morning and she was tired, but maybe there is an off chance that she sensed the situation. A week ago, the thing I wanted to do most was hold my puppy. My dad spoke up and told the family it was time to go, and so I finally let my dog go and we all walked out to the car. It was dark and cold, but that was the least of my worries. I was really leaving, and it finally had hit me. I’ve already forgotten the scent of my house, and I’d do just about anything for just a sniff. I didn’t think much on the way to the airport. I wanted to enjoy the private car ride, because I was worried it might be my last for a while. Oh, before I forget, I want to mention all the awesome meals I had before I left. My family went out to eat a bunch of times, and we even had a chance to get my aunts, uncles, and cousins to come eat. I don’t want to forget the awesome meals I had with my friends too. Anyways, I got to the airport, checked my bags in and walked over to the security line. That’s where my family had to wait. I said bye to my mom first, then my dad, my brother, and lastly my sister. I knew my mom and my sister were going to cry, but seeing my dad and my brother crying was very difficult. It took everything in me not completely melt down. I wish I had the luxury of letting all my emotions out then, but I knew I needed to keep a clear and focused mind. The line was long and it took a while for me to get to the front. I must’ve looked back toward my family every few seconds, and every time I looked, they were there with red and swollen eyes. I finally got through the metal detector, collected all my belongings when it came out of the x-ray, and gave one more look back to the lobby. The only person I could see was my mom, and so I waved goodbye one last time, and dragged my heavy heart towards the plane.