A Quickie

Sucks for From First to Last fans. That band has taken so many hits over the last few days and over the last few months. Sonny just quit to pursue his solo career and they also got dropped off their label (Guess Saosin made the right choice, tee hee!). A couple of months ago they were dropped from the Atreyu tour because of Sonny just having surgery and now they are in a financial bind. The music business seems to appealing, yet so scary.

Here is something I've been thinking about lately. If you are modest, or humble and you tell other people you are humble or modest, does that make you less modest or humble? I've always looked at my self and tried to present my self as a modest person (I already feel less modest just saying that) but I've always felt guilty for saying that about myself. Is that wrong? Do you guys look at someone differently when they say they are modest? I think modesty is quality that is earned through actions over time. But if someone asks you are you modest? How can you answer that if you really are? If you say No, they will think you aren't, and if you say yes, then you aren't. Being modest is kind of a lose lose situation. Do nice guys finish last? I think so. I envy people who are in your face and obnoxious but I hate them at the same time. I think I used to be more modest and humble when I was younger, and I thought about why that is last night while I lay in my bed (I think a shit load before I fall asleep and it keeps me up forever. Its where I get most of my blog ideas). I think in my younger days I was around people who appreciated modesty and that made it easier to stay modest. My Minneapolis friends acknowledged peoples strengths, they gave props where props were due. There was no need to brag, because the people you were close to spoke for you and you did the same for them. My old friends and I were all modest because we appreciated each others skills and we expressed that. My suburban experience is completely different. Suburban people are jealous and they deny that you are better then them. They don't give you any credit when you have clearly earned it and this causes a lot of tension. Not only that, they are quick to steal credit from other people. I had a suburban friend that would always steal my credit in public places. He would ask people, "Do you like my idea?" or "Member when I came up with...?" When clearly he was pawning off ideas I had brought up in our conversations. It bothered me, but whatever, nothing I couldn't ignore. But he was so intent on receiving praise. Modesty was definitely not a strong point for this guy. When you are around these type of people, it wears on you. I've been around these people 7 years now and I can see how I've changed. I am more flashy when I do things and I think I do seek more attention. I am more vocal, this I don't mind. I miss the old days because I think being humble is such an important part in being a good person. I miss childhood and my old friends. They knew how to separate the good from the bad. Its just the life I am forced to live now, and I can accept that, but sometimes you miss the good old days.

Here is a follow up to my little football outbust last blog. The other team had a goal line play and Dean rushed in to try and sack Mitch. Dean wrapped him up but couldn't take him down. Mitch does his best Kevin Dyson and stretches for the endzone and I knocked the ball out of his hand right before the ball passes the line. It was a close call but no one could tell for sure because of the snow. Mitch gets up and yells, "I was in!" and I asked other people for their opinion. After I ran the ball back for a touchdown, just to be safe, I asked Mitch and the others what they saw. I told everyone, "I couldn't see if the ball passed the line or was on the line." Mitch responded with, "well if the ball is on the line, thats a touchdown." Which is technically true. But why the FUCK would I offer the same answer twice?!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? Sure I could have been more percise and artitculate with my words, but can't people just infer and think for them selves?!?!?! And sure he could have just been informing me, but if you where there and listened to the condescending tone of his voice, thats not what he was doing. Why the fuck would I ask an A and B question where A and B are the same?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? I just don't get it. I hate when he does that too. He does it every weekend I just choke on my spit everytime he does it. That feeling of wanting to kill myself when I lose at something comes back with a different twist. I want to stab him in his forehead and then cut my self open from head to toe when ever he gets technical. Of course I would do it with a different knife cause I don't want to get infected from his nastiness. God damn that ticks me off, and lately I've noticed other people doing it. He is rubbing off on people. Pretty soon I will be surrounded by dummies.

One last thing for this quick blog. Another follow up. Last week I talked about how 70's and 80's rock sucks, and it still very much sucks. I proposed that only after the influence of rap, was music more organized. I was wrong there. In my U.S history class I was presented with 1920's jazz and blues. A lot of it was just instrumentals, but sometimes they had singing and it made sense. The lyrics and syllables fit into the music. So it is just 70's and 80's rock that fucks up on this concept. Well, in Rock History class we are learning about early rap and hip-hop. Rap is a genre where the background music doesn't mean much compared to the lyrics, so the focus is on the organization of the lyrics. While I was reading up on rap and hip-hop, I came across a word that discribed everything I was trying to get. CADENCE. 70's and 80's rock has no cadence. And that is a musical element I strongly believe in. Just makes things more tight/focused and poetic I think. But I guess cadence isn't an important factor to many people and thats to bad. Go listen to Comeback Kid and Dillinger Escape Plan then you losers. I'm not saying that all music needs to have this, some people can pull it off, but the oldies just don't do it right.