2009-2010.

I thought the transition between 2009 and 2010 would be seamless, but it turned out to be a more "thoughtful" night than I imagined it would be. I was planning for a quiet night in, with my mom, dad, and brother, and in the end, that is what basically happened. Earlier during the day I asked people if they had any good new year resolutions. I heard a couple of good responses, and typically who ever I was talking to returned the question. However, I sincerely didn't have any challenges for myself for the coming year in my mind. Now that the year has begun, my mind has been at work and ideas started emerging. I didn't have much to do after my mom and dad went to bed and Richard took over the X-Box (if he hadn't, I'd be playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare2. However, I'm glad that on this night, the X-Box was occupied.) And so I did what I normally do when I am alone and without any medium to occupy my attention, and that is listen to music. I recently "obtained/bought/borrowed" the new 30 Seconds to Mars album. I fully understand that admitting something like that could absolutely get my ass pushed in by the musically intelligent. However, I will admit it with my chest out and with my musical integrity entirely intact. I will concede that there are some "over the top" songs on the album, but overall, I'd give it a positive review. 30 Seconds to Mars puts out some highly polished music videos, and their new one for "Kings And Queens" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s) does not fail their reputation. The video and the song together has a highly inspirational quality to it that I can't quite articulate well. Perhaps it is just me, and the mood the new year has put me in. Anywho, I got the thinking and I guess there is a lot I want to accomplish in 2010. It's not that 2010 is a special year, I think these challenges should always be attempted to be accomplished, but I suppose my hope is that maybe in 2010, I will actually strive to complete my objectives. Of course I can't pin it down to one mission, but to put it broadly, I want to progress as a person, and I want to be someone who creates change. Maybe that statement is a bit general, because who doesn't what to grow as a person and create change that helps others. However, it seems to me that help and love isn't as easy to come by as we would think. I was having a talk with my mom and dad over dinner last week or the week before. We talked about my potential job in Korea, and then they asked me what I was thinking about doing even further in the future. Lucky for me I had already explored this question (I seem to do a lot of talking to myself before bed. Some may call it schizophrenia, others might consider it a form of meditation) and I had a response to present them. Contracts for teaching English in Korea typically are for a full school year. That contract allows you get all the benefits. Looking ahead, I think that I will enjoy my time there and will strongly consider staying for an extra year. Hopefully they allow me to come back home in between the school years. I thought deeply about what it might be like when I come back home. Would home feel foreign to me? Will I remember where all the light switches in my house are? Will I be able to wake up in the middle of the night and find my way to the bathroom just by muscle memory? Regardless, I didn't want to come home like a soldier from an extensive tour and have nothing to do and be completely lost. I want something to be waiting for me when I get home. I proposed to my parents the idea of going back to school, and expanding my education. The stronger I make my brain, the better I can think, and the better I can think, the more opportunities I will have to make a change. I was thinking of studying something that will encompass: politics, theology, philosophy, psychology, and what ever else involves people (almost everything, duh! Haha). And so I thought maybe something to do with sociology. I don't know if this is even a possible path, or if that's the field that will allow me to accomplish what I am thinking of. I haven't done any research, so if anyone out there has a jump start and would like to share some information, anything and everything helps. I fear that sociology might deal too much with demographics. Well, that's probably not a fair assumption and me being paranoid. I just have these images in my head of me sitting at a large desk, and coloring in maps like the seventh grade. I am hoping through extensive research and thought, I can find something so revolutionary that I can change the path of history. For the better of course. Perhaps I am dreaming too big, and maybe I am being arrogant to believe that I could change the path of the inhabitants of Earth (I think that's a better way to put it, "inhabitants of Earth." I originally wrote, "man," but that's how conservatives speak, ignoring women. And, I didn't want to cut out the rest of the living creatures, because for some reason, humans feel like they have some sort of right over the rest of the creatures on Earth). But who knows, what if I can leave something behind that will better everything that lives, hopes, and feels. I won't know until I try. We all only get one life, only one chance, and if I can make that short period better for other people, I want to do it.

People who know me will vouch for my love of music. I certainly don't know enough about music to be able to write my own tunes, but I think it's fair to say I have an objective ear when it comes to listening to music. In 2010, I want to fall in love with music even more. I want to be able to soak in every layer of the songs I listen to in 2010. iPods and other devices have made it so easy for people to listen to music while they are doing other chores. Well, that's not really "listening" to music. I seem to think a lot about what life might have been like before television was invented. I think about how much fun it must have been to sit around with your friends, and stab the needle down into the newest album you purchased. Everyone sat around and listened, and I mean actually listened, to the sound that was being produced. Today, music is just a peripheral. It has become a novelty. To be fair, most of the children today would not be able to sit for a whole 30 minutes to listen to an album. It is much too difficult for them to sit around without images being forced into their eyes. I wish I knew people that would text me Tuesday morning letting me know they got an album released that day, and that a couple of people were coming over for snacks and we were going to listen to the album. Actually listen. Maybe I'm being too picky, and maybe I'm too crazy.

So, to conclude, in 2010, I need to push myself to advance, advance, advance. I think something that will help me accomplish this goal is putting people who are wiser and more advanced than I am, around me. I've kind of been doing this these last few years. I have seen the number of people who I consider "friends," or "acquaintances," fall dramatically. It hit me, over a period of time, that most of the people I spend my time with, are people who I don't want to spend time with. They were people that were concerned with things, perhaps too "childish" or irrelevant (How tan can I be? If I take creatine, maybe my muscles will be bigger! I am going to see how drunk I can get this weekend). Looking back, I didn't do a lot of socializing in college because I was discouraged by the people I was meeting. I wonder if people actually go to college to learn, or if they go to college to take out student loans to buy them alcohol? I guess the point I am trying to make is that I need to get out and build my network. Find new people. I can't sit around and expect the same people to come back. I think tonight was an especially good day to learn that lesson. Even my "closest friends," had other dates, other people that they found that matched their interests better (of course one of my best friends is vacationing in China, so that decreased numbers). My plans were to spend the night with my family regardless (Having parents that come from another country adds a unique wrinkle to holidays. They obviously aren't going over to the neighbors to bring the new year in. What would they do there, just sit and not talk because of the language barrier? Of course I want to join them and make their night more eventful). Although my night went according to plan, what I'm trying to point out is that if I didn't have my family to spend the night with, I wouldn't have any alternatives. I almost didn't even have my parents to enjoy the dropping of the ball. They made plans to go out together, expecting that I would go out with friends. Little did they know, their son is not really accepted by his peers. I hope that doesn't come across as some teenage angst, insecure about where he belongs in the high school caste system. I just find myself to be a lot different from people my age. I'll leave it to your judgment if I am different for the better, the worst, or neither. But tonight seems like the perfect opportunity to open up my horizon. I will try my hardest to meet new people (something I already enjoy doing) and put people around me who will challenge me.

I hope everyone has a 2010 that they will remember as the year that their life took a turn for the better. I hope when 2011 comes, people will want to hold onto their 2010 calendar so they can remember the year that everything went right, and the year we all progressed as creatures on Earth. I wish everyone a beautiful 2010. Enjoy it, because aren't we all suppose to die in 2012 because some strange tribe said we were going to?