Mademoiselle

I started a book called Rebecca the other day and all I want to do now is finish it, but then Saturday came along and blew my face off I had so much fun. So many things to blog about and so little time since I need to get cleaned up here soon to head over to Nick's grad party and I can only hope Sunday will be as good as Saturday (I just looked up the definition of Saturday and it says it is the 7th day of the week, how do we know that?) Lets start with my book Rebecca. It was suggested to me, not directly, but I thought I would try a romantic fiction in hopes that it would improve my english writing, and reading skills and now it has simply become a great read. I envy Daphne Du Maurier because she is able to cultivate such fragile sentences yet keep them so firm and eloquent. The book does something to me while I read it. Maybe it only happens to the hopeless romantics, but I just feel light while reading this book. When the character of the book is feeling shy, I feel shy, when she is happy, I'm happy, when she is flustered, I'm flustered. I don't know, I haven't ever read romantic novels or any sort of novel ever so it is a new phenomenon to me but it is most likely not to others. If you are on summer break and bored out of your mind, go to the library and check out some books, place is a fucking gold mine.
I am thankful that Saturday happened when it did. Prior to Saturday, I've been asking myself, "Why so depressed lately Min?" I do believe happiness is a state of mind and if one desires to be happy, he or she can easily achieve happiness. So what was wrong with me? I am usually the type of person who can morph into a slap happy mode at will but lately that ability has been lost. So prior to Saturday, I've been telling myself, try your hardest not to care about what people say, or how they act, because frankly, people are dumb and people are hardcore fuckers. I am not immune to these human qualities. Just make it what it is. Don't worry if the person next to you loves you or not. I just have this struggle where I always want things to be right, but I understand that things aren't always that way. I always have struggles with loyal and honesty and I need to understand people don't believe in those morals the way I do. I just figure, what is love and friendship with out those morals? I like to think non-existing, but I have been proven wrong, apparently, people can accept below average friendships. I think another reason I've been kind of down is that I really have no one to talk to, so I bottle everything up and I vent through blogs, reading, and music. And why isn't art valued more in our culture? (Hardcore fuckers, thats why). Anywho, Saturday. I've been trying to put myself in a "good place" and with the help of Saturday, I think things will slowly start to turn around. I figured out, I need to put good people around or else I shouldn't waste my time hanging out with them. I figrued out I am happy around kind and caring people, but more importantly talented people. I guess I really do like being challenged. This blog is really crazy, I wish I would have formulated it better. I hit up Jon's grad party first, then Natalies, then Kyle's. I didn't know any people at Jon's (minus the usual crew and I do know some of Jon's grandparents and other older folk) and at Natalies but at Kyle's I knew a couple of people so I hung out there a little. I was nice chatting with Kyles cool dad Randy, his cool brother Ryan, and I also chatted with his cousin and Janani before strumming Ryans guitar and leaving. I went back over to Jon's and we just sat around with the peoples and E-Rob visited us for a little bit. Jon's family on both his mothers side and fathers side love their liguor and everyone was very drunk and they made us all hold fish and pretend we were eating them. It was pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever, but they were pretty forceful about it. Just another reason why I don't get why people drink. After that we decided to play some Volleyball! It was fun for a little while, but then it just started getting slow because there really are some suck ass people in this world and you can only stand those people for so long. So we tossed some people out and we played 2 on 2, Me and Dean, vs. Ben and Jon. The games were crazy fun. Some real volleyball. I always wanted to play an organized game where people can actually bump, set and spike and not hit it out of bounds. After it got dark and we were beat up, we dipped into Andy's house and played some ping-pong! Ben pretty much dominated us all night. Gives me great motivation to get myself ready for the next time I play him. I don't know, the night doesn't sound all that fun, but I left out a lot of small details and really, it has been WAY to long since I laughed that hard. It is easily the best day of the summer so far (Gameworks and J.Millers was pretty fun too). I guess until Warped Tour haha. But here is what I discovered. I have some friends that would rather go drink beers and party only college campuses, and I some friends what would rather go smoke pot, and I have to accept that. I have to accept that they are unloyal and uncaring. But then I have to know that I have some friends that will come down after a long days work to hang out with me when he has friends in Bloomington waiting and I have to know I have friends that will drive 4 hours from North Dakota to see me. So here is what I'm thinking, filter our the shitty friends, and try to see the good friends more often. Pretty simple right? You hang out with people you like and make you feel good, and you don't hang out with people that make you feel bad. Why didn't I install this plan before? Cause I'm dumb. Simple as that. It's because the shitty people were and I guess still are my friends and being that I am a loyal person, I wanted to stick by them. But I have learned that fighting for a lost cause is truly a waste. And like I was about to say before, I need to put talented people around me. Because life is way to boring when you put suck ass people around you. During volleyball, I just wanted the suck ass people to get off, and during ping-pong, I wanted the suck ass people to go away. I'm glad Ben and Dean made the trip down on Saturday because they are truly the catalysts to my having a good time. I was reminded why they were two of my best friends back in the day. The trouble is, Dean lives 4 hours away and Ben lives in Bloomington and works every single day of the week. Not easy to see those guys. And I need to accept that those guys also change, and I need to learn how to accept that and grow with the times. Those guys don't want to be around me all the time, even if I want to be around them all the time. Lessons I must struggle with, but in the end learn. Sunday already seems to have brighter rays of light, more colourful sounds, and more vibrant tastes. I don't know the next time I will be around Ben, Jon and Dean at the same time, but I look forward to it. Throw Mitch into the equation as well, he has been one of the most loyal friends for a long time and that alone earns him an invitation. Anywho, lets end this unorganized and babblefest section of my blog. In with the good, out with the bad...

This blog sucks, I don't look forward to the day I look back and read this one. Anywho, I am going to end this blog with a graduation party story before I go get ready for a grad party. I went to the Domaas' grad party on Friday night and it was the first time I saw of bunch of highschool friends in a long long time. And I know those guys don't give a shit about me, but I'm a people person and it was still nice seeing them. It was fun chatting and just joking around with them. I enjoyed chatting with Tony and I'm excited to see that he is going after video/radio hardcore. I wish I was brave enough to go after video hardore. Maybe if I stay in touch with Tony a little, I can find a little motivation by him to pursue my art little. The two best moments of that grad party were probably when Gio tried to allyoop it to himself off the backboard and failed hard and when everyone was doing their best Dawson playing Volleyball impression. I've never seen him play volleyball, but I can only imagine what it might be like and their impressions had to have been close. The best way they discribed it is that it looks like DK trying to play volleyball.

Alright, shower, maybe read Rebecca, and then off to Nick's. Everyone should start usuing the word Mademoiselle. So sexy. I think Dean spelt it right when I asked him to spell it.