I'm using a mac to write this blog and I can't front, this computer is fucking tight! I think I need to learn how to use macs cause this is sick. But, I hear vista makes PCs a lot like the macs, so I guess I won't have to switch. Tee hee!
Here are some sweet comments people have left me on my blogs.
"I think the core of a any relationship is friendship. It's undoubtable that there will be times where one feels angry at their wife or husband and won't feel much romance towards him/her, but a strong friendship bond will keep them together."
Actually this is not the one I was looking for but I will just keep it up anywho, tee hee!
"Sounds like you try to help others and I wish more people would do that. But don't lose sight of yourself...
Recently I got really angry and irritated at a close friend. I closed him off and, I'll admit, I acted like a jerk. Last night I was thinking, is it really worth it to waste even a minute of my life being angry at this one guy? I wrote him an apology, and, thankfully, he forgave me. But I'll never forget the guilt I felt.
Maybe you've already seen this, but here's a video about Shaolin Kung Fu. It's like using energy to become stronger and immune to attacks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_WZcQoSJxc"
This is the comment I was looking for. I like the story about getting mad at friends. I've never felt guilty for getting mad at a friend and I've never felt like I did anything wrong when a friendship went to shit. Well, except for one friendship I lost with a friend named Ayabe. We were young and I moved away so it was almost out of our control, but I could have tried harder to stay in touch with him. But all my recent friendships that ended, I feel like I did nothing wrong. My loyalty and love was always there. But after reading the comment, maybe thats my problem. I don't feel any guilt. And I never saw that video but it was friggin amazing! I wonder if that stuff is for real. And if it isn't for real, why would those monks live a lie? Or is this a case of Jim Cunningham striking?
Last week was my friend Dean's golden birthday. Last weekend, we didn't do anything special. Maybe this is why friends leave me. Maybe I should feel guilty when friends leave me, maybe it really is my fault. Material possessions don't mean much to me, but that doesn't mean they don't mean much to everyone. I guess some people really to measure presents with love. I usually use time, love and care to measure how much someone loves me, but not everyone is me. I feel really bad that we didn't go out and do things. I feel bad that I don't like to go out and get drunk and smoke weed because thats what people do to celebrate. Instead, we played basketball and watched Donnie Darko. Maybe I should have bought him a present. After my heart was broken a couple of times, I told myself I wouldn't buy anyone presents except for my family members because friends don't stay in your life forever. So maybe people don't measure love with material possessions. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I am rambling. Maybe this couple next to me should stop making out next to me. Maybe they should read this and get angry at me. Anywho, sometimes I feel bad for being the person I am and it sucks that people have to put up with me, but it sucks that I have to put up with some other people too. My thoughts are really unorganized haha.
I hate it when people tell others to be more American or tell others thats what a real American does. Here is my definition of an American: a shitty and cocky human being. Why would you want to be American? Don't be American, be a decent human being that sometimes looks out for other people. I understand we need people to buy into the system because people now a days find it hard to motivate them selves. So we use this phrase and we pump fear into people to keep things running smoothly. Like what if everyone played basketball and football as hard as I did. There would be no problem and there wouldn't be all this doubting about effort. This is why we use this to make people feel guilty and scared, because there are a lot of shitty out there that only look out for them selves. Maybe it is our fault the government and politicians do what they do. And why do we have to follow some old ass rules that don't make sense to us sometimes? Things change and so should the rules. Again, my thoughts are so unorganized. I like to babble sometimes.
I watched Fahrenheit 9/11 on Sunday and I loved that little joint to. Before I watched it I told myself I wouldn't let the movie effect my opinion on Bush, but it didn't work. I wasn't a fan of Bush before, and I still don't like him. But he is our president and I will respect him and I am always loyal. But even before the movie I always thought he just seemed like a big dummy. If you look at him, it just looks like nothing is turning inside his dumb little head and he always has this little smile on his face like he is always thinking about ice cream. And why is he always sticking his neck out? And the way he talks, yuck! Did anyone watch the part where he was talking about something and then he goes, "Now watch me drive this ball" or something like that. That part was funny as shit and pretty much sums up Bush. The 2008 election is much needed. I don't even care of a republican gets voted in, it is going to be hard to find someone worse than Bush. I don't like left, right, rep, dem labels, I just care about the person, if it is a good person running our country, good. If the republican finds someone who is worse then Bush, well, sucks for us.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Andre Oker
After school Tuesday night blogging. Yay!
Strait to business.
Friday started out like every other Friday I blog about. Lunch with my Mom and the school and then a pick up. After we got home I got a text from Joe and we went to Bass Lake Park and played some B-ball. I forgot how amazing and expressive basketball is. I just watched Steve Nash play the other day and it helped me remember why basketball was my favorite sport for so many years. My favorite thing about basketball is passing. No other sport, except for soccer I guess, lets you pass the ball so freely between each other. Hockey is not considered a sport, only homos play hockey. Don't try to persuade me either, this is something I will be stubborn about. But icky passing is so amazing. Shooting is to easy, anyone can jack up a shot, but to be able to predict someones movements and slice a ball through a defense and put the ball right where it needs to be is such a great feeling. I watch Steve Nash and he is a a good shooter and I see times where he tries to shoot more, but he options to pass when ever he can. Why? I actually don't know why either. When I play, I would rather pass then shoot. Why? Again, I don't know why. Joe has been joining us for a lot of basketball lately and having him around has really helped make basketball much more enjoyable. Usually the only skilled basketball players I play with are Dean and Jon and having another person makes it that much better. After basketball we went blockbuster to rent Donnie Darko but they didn't have it in so I grabbed a couple of randoms. Well I've seen Requiem before but I just grabbed it then I went up a couple of rows and grabbed the first movie I saw. When we got home I looked at the cover and saw that I got "Single White Female 2." Never heard of it before but we popped it in while we ate pizza. Just what I expected, a shitty movie but a really good shitty movie. SWF2 helped me re-discover my love for good bad movies. Guess I'm re-discovering a lot of things about myself.
Jon came to church with us on Saturday. After church we picked Dean up from his dorm. When we got home I texted Joe and we the cracking on some more basketball. I got semi-competitive like I always do. We found a set of teams that made our games very competitive. I think I lost more than I won on Saturday. Sometimes I feel like telling people what I think they are doing wrong, but I am scared to offend them so I don't. But then they keep making the same mistakes over and over and it eats at me. I think maybe thats what makes me mad sometimes. I think we (Dean, Andy, me vs. Joe, Jon, Mitch) lost a bunch of our games because we didn't have enough ball movement and our choice of shots were poor. I had to guard Jon which is never an easy assignment and I really didn't want to help off of him but the other team was able to out muscle Dean and Andy. This made it very tough because I had to help out many times and left Jon to collect all sorts of offensive of rebounds. Our lack of ball movement hurt our offense. I was afraid to give up the ball because I felt like I would never get it back. There was this one time where I made 3 consecutive shots and for the next couple of offensive possessions I didn't touch the ball. After basketball we went over to Best Buy since I had 10 reward bucks that were going to expire soon. Jon and Andy pitched in and we bought Fusion Frenzy 2. I still haven't played it yet but it sounds sweet. After Best Buy we went home and Karaoked the night away. During an Underoath song I got super light headed but it was so worth it. After that we got cleaned up and went over to Applebees. The conversations weren't as good as last weeks. I tried to organize where everyone sat to promote good conversations but people would not cooperate so we got stuck with a bad arrangement. We still managed to get some good topics in then someone suggested we leave in the middle of a conversation so it kind of killed the mood. When we got home Andy brought Donnie Darko the directors cut over and we watched the movie in fear. Donnie Darko is easily the scariest movie I have ever seen. Frank haunts us all. I told Jon that one day I was going to buy a Frank suit and sneak into his room while he was sleeping. The directors cut makes the movie 200% more understandable and when you understand a movie like that it becomes more scary. When I watched the original version, the movie was more ambiguous and I made my own interpretations and they were more friendly I guess. If you haven't seen Donnie Darko yet, please please kill yourself or go watch it. Or maybe get yourself out of the tangent universe you live in...eh? After the movie we sat around and chatted about the movie and other more philosophical things about life. It was a damn damn damn damn damn fucking damn good talk. This is why I tried to organize the table at Applebees. I am going to call Dean, Jon and Andy my philosophical conversation team. Actually, you could throw Sat in there because he has some really good input too, even if he is conservative, tee hee, just kidding. I'm glad we were the only ones left so we could talk deeply. We talked about the movie since we now understand what it was about and then we talked about a lot of other social and philosophical topics. A topic I like was the topic about Jim Cunningham and brainwashing people out of fear. Fear -X----- Love, tee hee. Jim Cunningham lead us to the talking of religion. I learned that Dean, Andy and I all have the same agnostic view. Jon brought up the idea of things being infinitely small and infinitely big. We didn't talk about the infinitely small things but out conversation expanded into the infinitely large things. There were a bunch of other great things we talked about and I mixed in a lot of talk about buying a Frank suit so I could scare Jon. Jon threatens to end our friendship if I ever approach him in a Frank suit. I threat I may well put to the test one of these days...well, if I ever have $250 of spare change. Sunday I pretty much didn't do shit then slept over at Dean's. Last night I watched Fantastic4 with my Mom and I remembered how much of a mediocre movie it is. Along with all these other super hero movies. But I did re-discover how fucking beautiful Jessica Alba is. How did I forget? If anyone wants to start a cult dedicated to the death of Cash Warren, let me know. Actually I wouldn't do that, the happiness of Ms. Alba comes first...or does it? Now its Tuesday and I'm blogging. Tee hee!
So I don't think I've blogged much about Virgina Tech. Well the news and all the whole media world is doing such a damn good job, I just don't need to. 24 hours of Virgina Tech everyday, so sweet! After V.Tech, there was a bomb threat at the U in the building I was sitting in at the time. I was taking a test when this guy in a blue suit runs in and tells my teacher that we need to leave the room. My teacher informs him that we were taking a test then he let her know more bluntly that there is a bomb threat in the building. The worst part was trying to get passed the cops. They had the whole west side of the mall taped off and I couldn't get out. If the buildings blew up, I would have gotten hurt because the cops wouldn't let me out. What I don't get is why people always huddle around scenes. If a bomb goes off, all you stupid mother fuckers are going to get hurt. I bet you these "hudlers" are the same panicky people that scream and run when someone actually happens. Oh human nature and stupid ass people. I wasn't surprised by the bomb threat, of course V.Tech is going to spark some sort of uprising. Just deal with it. I brought up the uprising idea with Andy of my conversation team. Conversation team represent! I told him that I wasn't surprised. I also brought up that I hate it when the news calls Cho a bad guy. Again, I am not and I can't excuse him for anything he did, but to call him a bad is completely wrong. We are as much the bad guy as he is. I told Andy this and he brought up a good point. That there will be some uprising and that if we call Cho a bad guy, then what will all the other people like Cho think? All those other socially rejected people who are watching the news hearing that people like them are bad. Wouldn't this start more uprising? I hate how the news presents this brilliant, we are smart, Dan Rather-ish look and feel but when you boil everything down, they are the stupidest, yes stupidest, fucks ever. Someone should go V.Tech on the media. (To soon! haha).
With the help of my conversation team, conversation team represent!, I re-discovered that I really don't buckle under pressure. I read some survival stories and I asked myself, would I be able to stay calm under those circumstances and I guess the answer is yes. Andy brought up the one time I had a gun held to my head when someone tried to steal a bike. You would think that would be a major event in my life that I remember for ever, but for some reason that event is the last thing I remember. I guess out of defense for my sanity, my mind has pushed that memory way back. I never remember that event. I was calm when I learned about the bomb threat too. We also talked about death. I don't think anyone should fear death because it can strike at anytime in any form. It is completely out of our control. When it comes, just accept it. Easy to say now, but it is more comforting to think like that rather then live in fear and have that fear used against you by capitalist America. After our chat at Jon's and on my way home in the dim light of the moon at 3:30 a.m, I felt like I was going to die. The night was so creepy. Every house, every light seemed to focus on me and it sounded like every sound was after me. I was hoping that when I got home, Dick would be downstairs playing video games. He wasn't there. I cleaned up and went to bed.
I thought about how lonely some people are. I thought about what if one of my friends went Cho and shot some people up. I thought about it and I guess my friends aren't the most socially accepted people. If you take me out of the equation, I guess you could consider my friends to be in the loser crowd. Not that I'm special or anything, but I think I'm a little different. I really don't want to be classified into a high school social group. I've always kind of wanted to be an outcast with a different twist. I think I kind of was. I was an outcast in the sense that I never fit into any group, but wasn't an outcast in the sense that people respected me. Anywho, I digress. Actually I more then digress, I completely lost my thought. Haha, fuck! Damn it, damn it! Oh well.
Sucks that I forgot. I'll end this blog here since I'm forgetting things and my wrists are starting to hurt.
Strait to business.
Friday started out like every other Friday I blog about. Lunch with my Mom and the school and then a pick up. After we got home I got a text from Joe and we went to Bass Lake Park and played some B-ball. I forgot how amazing and expressive basketball is. I just watched Steve Nash play the other day and it helped me remember why basketball was my favorite sport for so many years. My favorite thing about basketball is passing. No other sport, except for soccer I guess, lets you pass the ball so freely between each other. Hockey is not considered a sport, only homos play hockey. Don't try to persuade me either, this is something I will be stubborn about. But icky passing is so amazing. Shooting is to easy, anyone can jack up a shot, but to be able to predict someones movements and slice a ball through a defense and put the ball right where it needs to be is such a great feeling. I watch Steve Nash and he is a a good shooter and I see times where he tries to shoot more, but he options to pass when ever he can. Why? I actually don't know why either. When I play, I would rather pass then shoot. Why? Again, I don't know why. Joe has been joining us for a lot of basketball lately and having him around has really helped make basketball much more enjoyable. Usually the only skilled basketball players I play with are Dean and Jon and having another person makes it that much better. After basketball we went blockbuster to rent Donnie Darko but they didn't have it in so I grabbed a couple of randoms. Well I've seen Requiem before but I just grabbed it then I went up a couple of rows and grabbed the first movie I saw. When we got home I looked at the cover and saw that I got "Single White Female 2." Never heard of it before but we popped it in while we ate pizza. Just what I expected, a shitty movie but a really good shitty movie. SWF2 helped me re-discover my love for good bad movies. Guess I'm re-discovering a lot of things about myself.
Jon came to church with us on Saturday. After church we picked Dean up from his dorm. When we got home I texted Joe and we the cracking on some more basketball. I got semi-competitive like I always do. We found a set of teams that made our games very competitive. I think I lost more than I won on Saturday. Sometimes I feel like telling people what I think they are doing wrong, but I am scared to offend them so I don't. But then they keep making the same mistakes over and over and it eats at me. I think maybe thats what makes me mad sometimes. I think we (Dean, Andy, me vs. Joe, Jon, Mitch) lost a bunch of our games because we didn't have enough ball movement and our choice of shots were poor. I had to guard Jon which is never an easy assignment and I really didn't want to help off of him but the other team was able to out muscle Dean and Andy. This made it very tough because I had to help out many times and left Jon to collect all sorts of offensive of rebounds. Our lack of ball movement hurt our offense. I was afraid to give up the ball because I felt like I would never get it back. There was this one time where I made 3 consecutive shots and for the next couple of offensive possessions I didn't touch the ball. After basketball we went over to Best Buy since I had 10 reward bucks that were going to expire soon. Jon and Andy pitched in and we bought Fusion Frenzy 2. I still haven't played it yet but it sounds sweet. After Best Buy we went home and Karaoked the night away. During an Underoath song I got super light headed but it was so worth it. After that we got cleaned up and went over to Applebees. The conversations weren't as good as last weeks. I tried to organize where everyone sat to promote good conversations but people would not cooperate so we got stuck with a bad arrangement. We still managed to get some good topics in then someone suggested we leave in the middle of a conversation so it kind of killed the mood. When we got home Andy brought Donnie Darko the directors cut over and we watched the movie in fear. Donnie Darko is easily the scariest movie I have ever seen. Frank haunts us all. I told Jon that one day I was going to buy a Frank suit and sneak into his room while he was sleeping. The directors cut makes the movie 200% more understandable and when you understand a movie like that it becomes more scary. When I watched the original version, the movie was more ambiguous and I made my own interpretations and they were more friendly I guess. If you haven't seen Donnie Darko yet, please please kill yourself or go watch it. Or maybe get yourself out of the tangent universe you live in...eh? After the movie we sat around and chatted about the movie and other more philosophical things about life. It was a damn damn damn damn damn fucking damn good talk. This is why I tried to organize the table at Applebees. I am going to call Dean, Jon and Andy my philosophical conversation team. Actually, you could throw Sat in there because he has some really good input too, even if he is conservative, tee hee, just kidding. I'm glad we were the only ones left so we could talk deeply. We talked about the movie since we now understand what it was about and then we talked about a lot of other social and philosophical topics. A topic I like was the topic about Jim Cunningham and brainwashing people out of fear. Fear -X----- Love, tee hee. Jim Cunningham lead us to the talking of religion. I learned that Dean, Andy and I all have the same agnostic view. Jon brought up the idea of things being infinitely small and infinitely big. We didn't talk about the infinitely small things but out conversation expanded into the infinitely large things. There were a bunch of other great things we talked about and I mixed in a lot of talk about buying a Frank suit so I could scare Jon. Jon threatens to end our friendship if I ever approach him in a Frank suit. I threat I may well put to the test one of these days...well, if I ever have $250 of spare change. Sunday I pretty much didn't do shit then slept over at Dean's. Last night I watched Fantastic4 with my Mom and I remembered how much of a mediocre movie it is. Along with all these other super hero movies. But I did re-discover how fucking beautiful Jessica Alba is. How did I forget? If anyone wants to start a cult dedicated to the death of Cash Warren, let me know. Actually I wouldn't do that, the happiness of Ms. Alba comes first...or does it? Now its Tuesday and I'm blogging. Tee hee!
So I don't think I've blogged much about Virgina Tech. Well the news and all the whole media world is doing such a damn good job, I just don't need to. 24 hours of Virgina Tech everyday, so sweet! After V.Tech, there was a bomb threat at the U in the building I was sitting in at the time. I was taking a test when this guy in a blue suit runs in and tells my teacher that we need to leave the room. My teacher informs him that we were taking a test then he let her know more bluntly that there is a bomb threat in the building. The worst part was trying to get passed the cops. They had the whole west side of the mall taped off and I couldn't get out. If the buildings blew up, I would have gotten hurt because the cops wouldn't let me out. What I don't get is why people always huddle around scenes. If a bomb goes off, all you stupid mother fuckers are going to get hurt. I bet you these "hudlers" are the same panicky people that scream and run when someone actually happens. Oh human nature and stupid ass people. I wasn't surprised by the bomb threat, of course V.Tech is going to spark some sort of uprising. Just deal with it. I brought up the uprising idea with Andy of my conversation team. Conversation team represent! I told him that I wasn't surprised. I also brought up that I hate it when the news calls Cho a bad guy. Again, I am not and I can't excuse him for anything he did, but to call him a bad is completely wrong. We are as much the bad guy as he is. I told Andy this and he brought up a good point. That there will be some uprising and that if we call Cho a bad guy, then what will all the other people like Cho think? All those other socially rejected people who are watching the news hearing that people like them are bad. Wouldn't this start more uprising? I hate how the news presents this brilliant, we are smart, Dan Rather-ish look and feel but when you boil everything down, they are the stupidest, yes stupidest, fucks ever. Someone should go V.Tech on the media. (To soon! haha).
With the help of my conversation team, conversation team represent!, I re-discovered that I really don't buckle under pressure. I read some survival stories and I asked myself, would I be able to stay calm under those circumstances and I guess the answer is yes. Andy brought up the one time I had a gun held to my head when someone tried to steal a bike. You would think that would be a major event in my life that I remember for ever, but for some reason that event is the last thing I remember. I guess out of defense for my sanity, my mind has pushed that memory way back. I never remember that event. I was calm when I learned about the bomb threat too. We also talked about death. I don't think anyone should fear death because it can strike at anytime in any form. It is completely out of our control. When it comes, just accept it. Easy to say now, but it is more comforting to think like that rather then live in fear and have that fear used against you by capitalist America. After our chat at Jon's and on my way home in the dim light of the moon at 3:30 a.m, I felt like I was going to die. The night was so creepy. Every house, every light seemed to focus on me and it sounded like every sound was after me. I was hoping that when I got home, Dick would be downstairs playing video games. He wasn't there. I cleaned up and went to bed.
I thought about how lonely some people are. I thought about what if one of my friends went Cho and shot some people up. I thought about it and I guess my friends aren't the most socially accepted people. If you take me out of the equation, I guess you could consider my friends to be in the loser crowd. Not that I'm special or anything, but I think I'm a little different. I really don't want to be classified into a high school social group. I've always kind of wanted to be an outcast with a different twist. I think I kind of was. I was an outcast in the sense that I never fit into any group, but wasn't an outcast in the sense that people respected me. Anywho, I digress. Actually I more then digress, I completely lost my thought. Haha, fuck! Damn it, damn it! Oh well.
Sucks that I forgot. I'll end this blog here since I'm forgetting things and my wrists are starting to hurt.
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