Ayabe Germolus

Well, I wasn't going to write a blog tonight cause I am so exhausted from one of the most eventful weekends in recent memory, but I am wide awake now after Death Note episode 36. Really, that episode makes it all worth watching. I was getting kind of sick of the series because its not what it used be compared to the earlier episodes, but after 36 its all worth it, I can not wait for the last episode to come out this week. While watching something like Death Note I ask questions like, "how come they can't just cut all the bullshit out and just have all the main ideas?" I ask questions like that, but I know the answer. They have to build it up, because otherwise times like episode 36 just aren't as sweet. So I am ready to pee my pants later this week. Anywho, while I have time I figure I should update what has been going on in my life lately, and for once, I have shit to write about.

While Brand New's "Handcuff" plays (Amazing C.D) I'll write about my Mall of America trip I had earlier this week (Thursday?). Basically I was kind of sick of sitting around and I needed a night out so I suggested M.O.A to Dawson one night and he was free so we made it happen. I started the day out with some basketball since I am trying to be active everyday but my exercise was cut short when it started to rain. When I got out of the shower I saw I had missed a call from Chrissy. I was kind of surprised that I got call but glad that she did call. I informed her about my M.O.A plans and she was with Gallus and Ashley and they decided to join us. Dawson, Dick and I made a quick stop at the Best Buy so I could get me some cheap as hell blank Dynex DVDs and then we went back to my house where we met up with the girls and all hopped into Dawson's Impala. Remeber, that makes it Dawson, Dick, Me, Gallus, Ashley, Chrissy and myself. Cramped, but it made for maximum fun. I introduced a little game I named very generically, "Power," and we had tons of fun with it. I don't care to explain the game so if you're interested you'll just have to join us for an extended car ride. Basically Chrissy sucked at the game, but I don't really see how one could actually suck at the game. Its not really even a game, but I've digressed to far. Anywho, M.O.A. We got there and we really didn't have any stores we had in mind. I knew I needed to visit, The Dollar Tree, Old Navy, Pac Sun, Hot Topic and Urban Outfitters. We walked around and went to a bunch of random stores but I got hungry rather quickly so we made a Taco Bell stop. It seems like thats all I've been eating lately, but that bothers me none. Then we stopped at Tropicana to see Ben quickly and promised him we would be back to claim some ice cream by nights end. I got to stop by the Dollar Store where I picked up a bunch of bathroom products which included a lot of hair spray, because lets be honest, my anime/emo inspired hair demands hair spray. We walked around and hit up some of the stores the girls wanted to visit and Dick finally pop his Vaase cherry and got the see the store he has heard so much of. I got around to Old Navy, Pac Sun and Hot Topic but picked nothing up due to lack of sales. The Ridgedale Hot Topic is by far the best Hot Topic I've been to. They always have the best people working there and they always seem to have shit I want. They did have this really sexy hoodie at Pac Sun but only in plus sizes. The last store I needed to get to was Urban Outfitters and I was blown away by the selection of beautiful clothes. I wanted a bunch of things from that store, but the price was not friendly. I have the thrift store, I don't need to get anything from UO, but I need to get lucky. I plan on going back and getting some things. I really liked the car freshener UO had, George Bush's Dumb-Ass Head on a String. If I had a car, I probably would have bought one. They had a bunch of sweet clothes there, but I think I wanted a couple of their books most. "Everybody Hurts" and a horror movie survival guide book, but I figured check the library first. We ended the trip at Tropicana where Ben hooked us all up with some creamy treats but that wasn't the best part. While we were sitting there enjoying our delights, this duo of black guys walked up to Ashley and tried to, "run game." "Ay, whaddup shawty, whats your name?" was his choice of a pick up line. Basically we all sat and stared at the rap-retard. Then he got angry and walked away while cursing because he got denied, get used to it pal. Anywho, we played Power on the way home and all went our seperate ways. A well spent night in my opinion.

Fast forward to Saturday with me while Reign of Kindo's version "O Holy Night" plays on my laptop. The big day. I think the last concert I went to was the The Early November send off. The day started out with church like usual and I tried to get home quick so I could shower, again, and get ready for the concert, but failed due to family delays. So I got home, showered, dressed, ate all in about 10 minutes. Which did not give me enough time to let my hair dry and do it over. I tried to do it in Jon's car while we were making out way to Maplewood Mall but no luck. My hair was still wet, there was to much wind, and I had no mirror. Not to sound like a little girl, which I pretty much am, but my hair was a mess. We got to Maplewood Mall without any trouble and on perfect time. We made our way to the outside stage and staked our area. There was a black dude talking about war and stuff but he soon cleared the stage for From Autumn to Ashes. I was super pumped to see these guys because their latest album is very good. At the sound of the first scream, I was off, Peter can vouch for me, I was READY to say the least. I think the guys I went with could feel that I was aching for this show. The circle pits opened up and from there it was just all emotion. For some reason I am just pulled toward the stage and I just kept on advancing without even thinking about it. Crazy song after crazy song, From Autumn to Ashes rocked it. They even put in some old joints in their set which is surprising since of their major band changes. Francis is an excellent front man, and I really appreciate his emotion and how he sings/screams his fucking heart out. He really means it when he is up there. When Deth Kult Social Club started I pretty much lost it since it was the song I wanted to hear by them the most. At one point I was screaming so hard and so long I got all light headed and almost fell over. They ended with a oldie, "Reflections," and cleared the stage for the black guy before Senses Fail. The black guy was handing out some prizes. They drew names out of a box and I had something planned for when he pulled the names out. After each name I yelled and pretended like I won something. the crowd was silent and when I exploded everyone was convinced I had won, but I let them know I didn't. Then Senses Fail. They busted out with "Shark Attack" and my neck almost tore into two peices I banged so hard during the intro. Probably why I still can't turn my neck. Just a sick set yet again. I think it might have been like the 9th time I've seen those dudes. I believe, if my memory serves me right, they introduced a new song. Our little crew made it up to the front which was nice since the breeze gets to hit you up there. There was this little bitch at the front next to me and I feel bad, but I had to elbow her face a couple of times, but really, she was asking for it. I know my concert etiquette and she was fucking it up and so it was the only play I had. She learned to stop with her little annoyances. The show ended and for some reason I was just drained hardcore. I thought to myself, if I can't even make it through 2 outdoor sets, how am I going to make it at this years Warped Tour? But I've always managed before, so I think I'll be okay. We mingled around the mall for a little and got some drinks before we left. When we got home we all went home and got cleaned up and decided to meet at Applebees. It was actually the first time I had been there in quite some time and I'm glad we chose to go that night, because for the first time in Applebees history, we got a hot waitress. I guess Shelly served us that one time, haha, but no. Basically, I know I have no chance with any girl unless they are semi-retarded to choose something like me so we just all gave her a semi-hard, semi-goofy time. She was a good sport so all good. The funniest part of the night was when Jon was paying her. She was dealing with everyones credit cards but Jon was paying in cash and Jon asked her, "Do you want my money now?" and she said, "You can give it to me right now." Now please understand, when it comes to girls, I still believe in germs and koodies, so when an attractive girl says, "You can give it to me now," it is fucking funny. This is probably why girls don't like me haha. Anywho, after Bee's we went back to Jons and popped in the DVD we rented earlier that day called, "Doomed," and you better believe it was shitty as hell. How could we resist, it had zombies on the cover. It held us til the end, but still, it was shitty and it made me want to kill some zombies. We got a good chuckle out of it and called it a night since Jon and I had a big Sunday planned. Due to fatigue setting in, I will write about Sunday and other things going on in my life tomorrow. Blogs are taxing haha, no, not really.

But before I close thos blog, I'd like to present a question. Say your favorite store closes and you say, "I liked that store," wouldn't that mean you used to like that store? Would you say, "I like that store," even though it didn't exist? Linguists, get to work.

Ni Ni!

Kira

Its been a few days since I last blogged and even my last two blogs were humongous jokes. Basically my life these last few days have been derailed and dedicated to watching Death Note. I had a huge list of to dos and now its just bigger and more backed up since for the past 3 days my main mission was to plow through every episode of Death Note. At least I was disciplined enough to to complete this mission because I annihilated 35 episodes and now all I need to do is download the 36th and wait a week for the 37th, unless the series continues. I would suggest watching this series if you are one who can put their mature pride aside and if you are willing to read subtitles. Pride because it is an anime and subtitles because it is all in Japanese, but really, why would you want to even watch any other kind of animation? And I personally prefer subtitles over dubbed version because I feel as though dubs hurts the artistic quality. I am constantly reminded why Japanese animation is truly one of a kind each time I watch one of their creations. They always seem to have amazing ground breaking animation and their stories are always infused with deep messages and they always have enough action to hook the average a.d.d ruled American. But if you liked 24, you might like Death Note. It has the same type of action where each time the protagonist does something impossible and it becomes less and less believable as the series goes on and you feel like you are wasting your life watching it, but for some reason you always come back for more. I will say the beginning of Death Note is better then the newer episodes, but it still worth watching and especially at the part where I am. Go N!

Now that I am free from the shackles of Death Note I plan on getting back to my normal life. I still need to adjust some things for school and get my financial situation fixed. It is all so confusing to me, but I think I will manage. I think this weekend was meant for me to get out and enjoy myself after two weeks of being locked inside. Friday there is a free secret acoustic show being put on by Minnesota's own Quietdrive at the Best Buy in Coon Rapids at noon. If I can find people who want to go, and a ride (I don't have a car), I plan on going. Quietdrive is a pop-rock band so anyone who likes Acceptance, or even Fall Out Boy might enjoy the set. Plus, its acoustic, if you don't like acoustic music you owe the next three people you see a blow job. Acoustic music is pretty much generally liked by all. (Be right back, poop break). I have the fastest pooper in the whole world. Where was I, ah right, Queitdrive, go to it. But I am really excited for the Senses Fail and From Autumn to Ashes show on Saturday. This is also free and will start at 4 at Maplewood Mall. FATA is opening with a 30 minute set and then Senses Fail will be closing the Couch Tour with their set. I will be going to this no matter what, so if you go, see you there! Thats all I will write about that show since I've written about it so many times already in previous blogs. I've been going to the orthodontics a lot lately and it looks like I am going to get braces here in the next few weeks. I am very nervous about it. I don't know how else to phrase it or what I'm nervous about, I'm just nervous. I've never been a fan of altering my body by means of western medicine. They are planning on pulling out one of my front teeth and knowing that once its pulled, I will never have it back scares me. Its my tooth, my body made it, the tooth that God gave me, and with a quick twitch, it will be lost. Its the tooth that I was suppose to live with for the rest of my life. And braces, yuck. But I guess my teeth will be more healthy and they will look better after everything is done, so I'll go with it.

Lately I've been wondering what it might be like to live alone. What it might be like not seeing a single human being for a couple of weeks. Would one go crazy? Or would one come out a stronger person? I think a little of both. I bet the worlds smartest, strongest, and best people are those who seem a little crazy. And I don't just say that because I think I'm crazy and getting worse, but rather cause I think it true. I just don't think many people could go a month with zero human contact, I don't think I could. What about no direct human contact for 3 months? You would have internet and things. That I think I could do. Basically the only people I've seen over the past two weeks are my family and really just Dick since Leah is busy with her friends, and my parents do nothing but work. To eliminate one person from my life doesn't seem that tough. Really all I do is sit on the computer to read and use it to help me create poorly made visuals and audios, or else I read books, go out and play basketball with the occasional video game break. I do things already by myself, I've learned how to do this since summer started. I forced myself to learn. Along with this, I wonder what it might be like to have power and to have people fear me. This thought was only put into my head because of Death Note. But what if I had a Death Note, how would I use my power? This is what I think, people who have power will always abuse it. I can say now if I ever gain that sort of power, I will use to help people and truly mean it, but I think that if I ever did earn that sort of power, I would only use it to advance my well being. I think this is the same way with everyone, no one is immune to it. I hope day I will be tested, and that maybe I can pass that test.

So today I slept for 10 hours because yesterday I thought it would be cool to go with only 5 hours of sleep. My Mom called me after a late night around 8 a.m and I thought about going back to bed, but hopped out of bed instead. Well after an active day, my body was ready to shut down come 9 p.m. I think I might run an experiment and see how much sleep deprivation effects ones ability to think. But it is so hard for me to crawl out of bed for some reason, and lately its been hard to even go to bed. So I can't go to bed, but once I do, I can't get out. I'm fucked up.

Time to edit some thangs. Thank you Adobe Premiere.

Monsieur

Again, nothing new to update on but I just thought I should write something. Yesterday I pretty much sat around all day. I worked on the Pokémon video, which is turning out well, and then I played some video games and then watched the Spurs become champions and then I tried to go to bed early since I had an early dentist appointment. For some reason I couldn't fall asleep and I just rolled around for a couple of hours. It could be that I was thinking to much and/or it could be because I took a nap earlier that evening. Today I don't have much planned. I got my teeth cleaned and my jaw hurts like every time I get my teeth cleaned and now I write this before I try and finish my Pokémon video. I will most likely play some basketball later today and then sit around and watch a movie. I feel like I have been wasting all this valuable free time and I feel bad because usually I would kill to have this much free time. So I promised myself from here on out I will only be productive. Creating videos, photoshoping photos, writing music, writing blogs, reading, doing chores, exercising. I was trying to get this position with Alternative Press but I am having trouble contacting them.

A couple of random blurbs before I end this miserable blog. I want to write about sandals and primarily males wearing sandals. It should be illegal for dudes to wear sandals because it is just not attractive. Not all girls should be able to wear them either. I don't mind them being worn casually maybe on the beach or just to step out into the yard quick or something like that, but for them to be a part of your attire is dumb. Again, some girls can pull them off and make them sexy or cute but dudes, no. No chance. So please stop wearing them as a fashion dudes.

Lately I've realized my friends and I just don't find the same things entertaining anymore. I know Ben and I have music in common and Dean and I have sports in common but that has been about it. And the worst thing about it is, they are the two friends I get to see least. No one likes to go out and no one likes to be active anymore and its a fucking shame.

Haha, this is a waste of a fucking blog. I didn't really feel like writing but I feel like I am cheating myself when I don't write for an extended period.

out of neat little titles

Nothing new really to update on but I felt like I should write something so I will make it quick since I have no immediate thoughts and Richard is waiting for me while he plays Playstation2. Yesterday I did the usual chores in the morning and then Benny came over and we played Melee and chilled and hit up a couple of spots. Then Ben came over and we went to Guitar Center and basically played there for about 3 hours. I didn't even get to play in all the rooms yesterday since we spent so much time in the acoustic room. One of the workers there gave us a little lesson on classical guitaring but it was way to crazy for me to understand but I'm glad Ben actually understood what he was teaching. I pretty much keep it ghetto with my power chords. After Guitar Center we got some grub at the Taco Bell then called it a night. The only shame of the night was that Ben and I didn't get to jam at home and that there was no ping-pong or volleyball involved. I guess we could have played volleyball, but I like to avoid the Christenson parents when ever I can because they are such strange people. They have this very cult feeling to them. They almost seem as if they are brainwashed and under the command of an evil master. Anywho, Guitar Center is a sick little store and is much more entertaining when you go with Ben.

Nick's grad party was on Sunday and it was a nice relaxing follow up to a fun filled day that was Saturday. The weather was hotter then it needed to be but it still felt nice. Most of the grad party revolved around the huge slide Nick had borrowed for the day and although I did not partake in the slide festivities, it was fun climbing it a few times and then just watch people destroy themselves on it. When people questioned my not going on the slide, I responded with a savvy, "I'm like 20 years old," but really it was just to hot and my body is much to fragile to take part in such vigorous activites. I had plenty of entertainment just sitting and watching. Dick has made for some memorable times as of late. After the night full of slides, chicken wings, ribs, water balloon fights and mountin dew ended, we went home to clean up and then chilled at Dawson's place for a little bit. We didn't do much there but it was nice just to sit around. I watched part of the Spurs game. Game might not be the right word since the Spurs put on a whooping.

The Senses Fail and From Autumn to Ashes show is sneaking up rather quickly and although I do not wish for time to pass this rapidly, I am excited to see the two bands perform. On my rough count, this might be the ninth time I see Senses Fail making them my most seen band. But I think this time around I am more excited to see From Autumn to Ashes because they have a new lineup and I am enjoying their new album. So if you are free two Saturdays from this posting (June 23rd, 2007), please make the journey to Maplewood Mall for some intense emo, metalcore, post-hardcore/screamo music. If my sources are correct, and they should be correct since I got them right off the zumiez website, FATA will be playing around 4:30 and Senses Fail around 5:00.

One last topic before I end this blog. While I am on the topic of music and emo-ness, I might as well bring up a book I am interested in reading. Everybody Hurts: The Essential Guide to Emo Culture, or something like that. 200+ pages of the music culture I find myself very much a part of. Although I remain abstinent from being a "scene-kid," I do feel very much a part of that culture. I read a brief overview of the book and the things they talked about were things I found very identical to my own life. I loved the part about how the emo culture considers them selves Donnie Darko philosophers, and it is true, I do consider myself a connoisseur of that movie. And the part about how emo personalities approach shows was dead on as well. Emos pregame way to early and on the way to the venue they play their music way to loud and they arrive way to early and when they get in, they all rush to an open area and claim their section on the floor and they are very conscience about the people around them and then on the way home they listen to the music they just listened to. Why wouldn't I want to read this book? It is kind of like reading a book about a part of my life. I hope it is written in a semi-serious fashion and is actually a book about the culture. I know all the stereotypes the word "EMO" carries. It is a shame that the culture is hated so much and that it has been spun in such a negative way.

Anywho, time to let Dick watch his anime. I hope to finish my zombie blogs and my gay'mon two movie soon.

Mademoiselle

I started a book called Rebecca the other day and all I want to do now is finish it, but then Saturday came along and blew my face off I had so much fun. So many things to blog about and so little time since I need to get cleaned up here soon to head over to Nick's grad party and I can only hope Sunday will be as good as Saturday (I just looked up the definition of Saturday and it says it is the 7th day of the week, how do we know that?) Lets start with my book Rebecca. It was suggested to me, not directly, but I thought I would try a romantic fiction in hopes that it would improve my english writing, and reading skills and now it has simply become a great read. I envy Daphne Du Maurier because she is able to cultivate such fragile sentences yet keep them so firm and eloquent. The book does something to me while I read it. Maybe it only happens to the hopeless romantics, but I just feel light while reading this book. When the character of the book is feeling shy, I feel shy, when she is happy, I'm happy, when she is flustered, I'm flustered. I don't know, I haven't ever read romantic novels or any sort of novel ever so it is a new phenomenon to me but it is most likely not to others. If you are on summer break and bored out of your mind, go to the library and check out some books, place is a fucking gold mine.
I am thankful that Saturday happened when it did. Prior to Saturday, I've been asking myself, "Why so depressed lately Min?" I do believe happiness is a state of mind and if one desires to be happy, he or she can easily achieve happiness. So what was wrong with me? I am usually the type of person who can morph into a slap happy mode at will but lately that ability has been lost. So prior to Saturday, I've been telling myself, try your hardest not to care about what people say, or how they act, because frankly, people are dumb and people are hardcore fuckers. I am not immune to these human qualities. Just make it what it is. Don't worry if the person next to you loves you or not. I just have this struggle where I always want things to be right, but I understand that things aren't always that way. I always have struggles with loyal and honesty and I need to understand people don't believe in those morals the way I do. I just figure, what is love and friendship with out those morals? I like to think non-existing, but I have been proven wrong, apparently, people can accept below average friendships. I think another reason I've been kind of down is that I really have no one to talk to, so I bottle everything up and I vent through blogs, reading, and music. And why isn't art valued more in our culture? (Hardcore fuckers, thats why). Anywho, Saturday. I've been trying to put myself in a "good place" and with the help of Saturday, I think things will slowly start to turn around. I figured out, I need to put good people around or else I shouldn't waste my time hanging out with them. I figrued out I am happy around kind and caring people, but more importantly talented people. I guess I really do like being challenged. This blog is really crazy, I wish I would have formulated it better. I hit up Jon's grad party first, then Natalies, then Kyle's. I didn't know any people at Jon's (minus the usual crew and I do know some of Jon's grandparents and other older folk) and at Natalies but at Kyle's I knew a couple of people so I hung out there a little. I was nice chatting with Kyles cool dad Randy, his cool brother Ryan, and I also chatted with his cousin and Janani before strumming Ryans guitar and leaving. I went back over to Jon's and we just sat around with the peoples and E-Rob visited us for a little bit. Jon's family on both his mothers side and fathers side love their liguor and everyone was very drunk and they made us all hold fish and pretend we were eating them. It was pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever, but they were pretty forceful about it. Just another reason why I don't get why people drink. After that we decided to play some Volleyball! It was fun for a little while, but then it just started getting slow because there really are some suck ass people in this world and you can only stand those people for so long. So we tossed some people out and we played 2 on 2, Me and Dean, vs. Ben and Jon. The games were crazy fun. Some real volleyball. I always wanted to play an organized game where people can actually bump, set and spike and not hit it out of bounds. After it got dark and we were beat up, we dipped into Andy's house and played some ping-pong! Ben pretty much dominated us all night. Gives me great motivation to get myself ready for the next time I play him. I don't know, the night doesn't sound all that fun, but I left out a lot of small details and really, it has been WAY to long since I laughed that hard. It is easily the best day of the summer so far (Gameworks and J.Millers was pretty fun too). I guess until Warped Tour haha. But here is what I discovered. I have some friends that would rather go drink beers and party only college campuses, and I some friends what would rather go smoke pot, and I have to accept that. I have to accept that they are unloyal and uncaring. But then I have to know that I have some friends that will come down after a long days work to hang out with me when he has friends in Bloomington waiting and I have to know I have friends that will drive 4 hours from North Dakota to see me. So here is what I'm thinking, filter our the shitty friends, and try to see the good friends more often. Pretty simple right? You hang out with people you like and make you feel good, and you don't hang out with people that make you feel bad. Why didn't I install this plan before? Cause I'm dumb. Simple as that. It's because the shitty people were and I guess still are my friends and being that I am a loyal person, I wanted to stick by them. But I have learned that fighting for a lost cause is truly a waste. And like I was about to say before, I need to put talented people around me. Because life is way to boring when you put suck ass people around you. During volleyball, I just wanted the suck ass people to get off, and during ping-pong, I wanted the suck ass people to go away. I'm glad Ben and Dean made the trip down on Saturday because they are truly the catalysts to my having a good time. I was reminded why they were two of my best friends back in the day. The trouble is, Dean lives 4 hours away and Ben lives in Bloomington and works every single day of the week. Not easy to see those guys. And I need to accept that those guys also change, and I need to learn how to accept that and grow with the times. Those guys don't want to be around me all the time, even if I want to be around them all the time. Lessons I must struggle with, but in the end learn. Sunday already seems to have brighter rays of light, more colourful sounds, and more vibrant tastes. I don't know the next time I will be around Ben, Jon and Dean at the same time, but I look forward to it. Throw Mitch into the equation as well, he has been one of the most loyal friends for a long time and that alone earns him an invitation. Anywho, lets end this unorganized and babblefest section of my blog. In with the good, out with the bad...

This blog sucks, I don't look forward to the day I look back and read this one. Anywho, I am going to end this blog with a graduation party story before I go get ready for a grad party. I went to the Domaas' grad party on Friday night and it was the first time I saw of bunch of highschool friends in a long long time. And I know those guys don't give a shit about me, but I'm a people person and it was still nice seeing them. It was fun chatting and just joking around with them. I enjoyed chatting with Tony and I'm excited to see that he is going after video/radio hardcore. I wish I was brave enough to go after video hardore. Maybe if I stay in touch with Tony a little, I can find a little motivation by him to pursue my art little. The two best moments of that grad party were probably when Gio tried to allyoop it to himself off the backboard and failed hard and when everyone was doing their best Dawson playing Volleyball impression. I've never seen him play volleyball, but I can only imagine what it might be like and their impressions had to have been close. The best way they discribed it is that it looks like DK trying to play volleyball.

Alright, shower, maybe read Rebecca, and then off to Nick's. Everyone should start usuing the word Mademoiselle. So sexy. I think Dean spelt it right when I asked him to spell it.

How Min Found His Groove

So today I promised my self I would wake up early and do some chores and be productive today. Two out of three ain't bad I guess. I did a bunch of chores and I was very productive but I just didn't wake up early. 10:45 to be exact. For some reason my biological clock wouldn't let me sleep any longer. I got a bunch of things done but I wasn't able to finish my room so I am hoping to finish that tomorrow along with getting some of my hair trimmed off. Also, I promise myself I will get some exercise in tomorrow. After that, no other plans, I think...

Today after I got a bunch of things done I sat around waiting for my parents to get home so that I could mail my x-box 360 and laptop in to get repaired. I sat around reading one of my library books then I got tired so I took a short nap. I didn't fall into a deep sleep because I kept waking up and I kept asking Dick, who was on the comuter with Jon, if Mom and Dad were home yet. I later found out that they had been home for a little while. After that Nick came over and we got some Melee in and then dipped over to the Taco Bell. Place is grubbing son. Then we trucked it over to GameWorks in Minneapolis since Thursday nights is their ulimited play night. My trigger finger is damn sore! Jon whooped us all up in the racing games all night and he did very well on the shooting games too. Overall it was a very successful adventure. You know you had a time when 3 hours seems like 30 minutes. Aside from all that fun, the best part is fitting all your friends into one car, turning up the music really loud and just rocking out. Lots of Senses Fail, Underoath, Taking Back Sunday and From Autumn to Ashes, and even some rap! tee hee!

I read that there is this mid-west bus service that allows people to ride from city to city for sometimes a buck. I thought it was to good to be true and when I checked the website out, it was. The cheapest ride I could find was $15. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. It would have been damn sweet if there were $1 bus rides from city to city. When I read the article, I thought I might have found my summer calling. I serisouly was going to pack a couple bags of some essentials, look up some dirt cheap motels, and just hop on a bus and record my trip. I think the experince of just living a nomadic or vagrant lifestyle would be awesome. So maybe I'll check the website out again and if I do find dollar rides to Chicago, then to New York, I plan on doing it.

Last Saturday there was a surprise birthday party for an old friend. After Jon and I got done at Red's graduation party we drove over to Josh Miller's house for his birthday party. I got an invitation from his sister like a week before and I was actually kind of surprised because I didn't think J.Millers family knew me that well nor did I think I would actually be one to get an invitation. It was a very fun night. I got to meet some new people and catch up with an old bud and I fully talked him into going to Warped Tour this year. We played a game of wiffle ball and it was fucking sweet! I love me my wiffel ball. Towards the end we sat around a bon fire and cooked up some marshmellows and just chatted. What is it about a bon fires that puts conversation into my mouth? Its like the fire is alive and it just streams energy into my soul. Before we left Jon and I got some ping-pong in. After we met up with Mitch at my house and watched Donnie Darko. Mitch seemed to like it. Again after the movie there was further discussion on what it could be about.

I'll end this blog with one last topic. This has happened before and again it surprised me. During rough times in my life, it has never been my close friends that have helped me through it, it has always random acquaintances. I guess that would be the best way to put it, I'm not that good at speaking and writing american, haha. Out of no where, people offer someone to talk to or just some words to cheer me up. Just because they felt like it? I have no idea, but their timing is always perfect. So I've been question myself, have I really put good people around or have I just lived this lie and thought all my friends were good people only because I was to loyal to search for other friendships? I can only compre my friends with my friends, because I never searched else where. There is a point, for me at least, when you have so many close friends, it becomes difficult to explore other people because there just isn't enough time to go aroud. I believe in spending time with loved ones and being loyal. So if all these people I know, but not all that well, are helping me, but my friends aren't, do I really have the right people around me? It does make me wonder sometimes.

Fuck it, one more topic. The AP issue from two months ago featured a band called Saosin and it was a very good read. There were a couple of things that I really enjoyed reading about. There was this one part where the memebers shared their favorite show and one of the stories really struck me. One of the members lost his Father prior to a show and he thought about not playing that night but decided to go through with it. That night the band became brothers and everyone played for the one members Dad and for the band member. During one of the songs, the band all started crying after some lyrics were sung because it was perfect for the situations. I don't remember fully, but it might have been, "I will find a way without you," from Seven Years. I think it would be amazing to share that type of bond with a group of friends. Where everyone is on the same page and evreyone is supporting each other and throw the beauty of music into it and you got the ultimate mix. Just reading about it made me want to cry.
They had a seperate part in the article where they followed the lead singer of Sasoin, Cove. Cove was not a founding member and was actually a replacement. There is some drama between Saosin and the lead singer if Circa Survive because he left the band while Saosin was sky rocketing. But Cove and Anthony of Circa Survive are friends and Anthony, I believe his name is, has helped guide Cove. Cove claims he hasn't always felt comfortable with the other members of Saosin because Cove is not your stereotypical rock star. Cove is a strait-edge rockstar and while the other memebers are out partying, drinking endless amounts of liquor, fucking girls and doing drugs, Cove avoids that and I respect him so much for that. I think it sucks being around people like that and I'm around it that much and I think I would go crazy if I had to be around "glam rockstars." It is nice to see that there are still some people who are able to resist peer pressure.

Anywho, a little bedroom clean up and then bed time for me. Oh, and a shower, I love me my showers.

Short and Fun

I don't have a lot of time since I want to go to bed and wake up early because I have a long list of 'to dos' tomorrow. So I will do exactly what my title says, keep this blog short and fun. I haven't written just a striat up fun blog in a while. I some how always manage to bitch about how shitty and confusing my life is, how shitty our government is, how shitty our society is and other depressing things that probably won't change any time soon. I guess I just like to bitch and gossip so I will try my best to keep this blog light.

I just got finished cleaning my room for like 2 and a half hours. I guess finished is the wrong word because I am far from finished. It is a lot cleaner and I think when I'm done it will look a lot sweeter and feel much better. I bought a couple of Senses Fail posters for dirt cheap the other day since Hot Topic was having a little mini poster sale. I also had a bunch of other posters that I've been to lazy to put up and lets not forget about my AP cut outs. Oh, and the Jessica Alba cut outs my sister was kind enough to give me, tee hee! Tuesday of this week was pretty sweet. I think it started off with a couple of chores I didn't mind doing since I need to get some more excercise and then I got cleaned up and checked the mail to find my new issue of Alternative Press. Perfect timing because I had just finished last months issue the day before. The Used is on the cover and I'm excited to read their cover story. After that, Mitch came over and we had a long list of places we needed to hit up. Jon joined us before we left and the three of us first went to the Unique Thrift Store. Place is still fucking amazing and lets not forget that on Tuesdays we all get 25% off. The store is always busy on Tuesdays but we managed to pick out some sweet shirts and Jon probably got the gayest belt ever. He probably got the gayest/funniest shirt ever too. Jon scored big time. After the thirft store we hit up the Ridgedale mall where I got my cheap posters at Hot Topic. The Hot Topic at Ridgedale is by far the best Hot Topic I've ever been to. The workers there are so interactive and up beat compared to the shitty Arbor Lakes Hot Topic which is like half the size. I got my posters and I also got a sweet stripped long sleeve shirt that I've wanted to a long long time and it was on sale so I couldn't resist. Usually my shirts cost around 2 dollars at the thrift store but this shirt cost 11, but its okay, its worth it. It has a little hole in it on the side but Leah said she could patch it up for me. Its a really pretty shirt with its reds and grays and stripes a la Adam Lazarra. After Hot Topic we skipped over to the Zumiez but left rather quickly because they are over priced there. On the way to Macy's we stopped by Pac Sun where I picked up another shirt. Another pretty stipped shirt but short sleeved this time. I wanted a stripped shirt for the summer and this 70% off shirt was perfect with its summer blues. Then at Macy's I bought my Warped Tour tickets! HELLS YEA! Warped Tour 2007, rain or shine, here I come! The tickets were close to $40 but they are oh so worth it. Underoath, Escape the Fate, Meg and Dia, Amber Pacific and many others. Oh, we had Taco Bell at Ridgedale too, I love me my Taco Bell. On the way out of Ridgedale we saw this really hot chick working at Big Bowl so I made the guys turn around and we stalked her for a little bit. She caught us pretty much right away. But ya know what, being the tough, grizzly men we are...we went home becuase we were embarrassed. On the way home we stopped by Blockbuster so I could trade in a movie and I ended up getting the old Jennifer Lopez flick The Cell. I heard its bad, but oh well. Hmm...I know there was a bunch of other things I wanted to write about while I was writing this blog, but I totally just lost all my thoughts. Bummer. Anywho, Jon twisted his ankle and now he can't play basketball so now I need to find a different way to get my excercise in. I'm fat.
Alright, nap time. Bless everyone.

V For...

Last night I watched one of the most refreshing movies in a long time, V for Vendetta. When it originally was released I heard it was based off a comic book and that turned me away from the movie thinking it was going to be another X-Men, or Spiderman, or Fantastic4, or Spawn, or Hulk action/visual movie. No one told me that this movie carries an actual message. So when I popped my borrowed copy of V for Vendetta into my borrowed Playstation2 last night to watch it with my friend Mitch around midnight, I was expecting a short action flick lacking any stimulation. To my pleasant surprise the movie basically spoke my words for me. I am glad I didn't watch it when it was originally released because I would have not cared much about what was being told in the movie back then so the movie reached me at a perfect time in my life. The trouble with art is that viewers will always interpret the work differently and only the most articulate of tongues will ever get their point across. A lesson that could be pulled from the movie. I stated in a much older blog that when I realized this I knew I had to become a better writer, speaker, reader but most importantly human being. Words never die, right? And if the movie is right, a thought never dies? This makes me want major in philosophy because what is more powerful then the human mind. I didn't do any recent research, but I do believe the word philosophy is greek or something like that and has two parts to it. One part meaning thought, and one part meaning love. The love of thought. Please correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't want to be feeding people bull shit like that if I'm wrong. Anywho, go watch V For Vendetta if you haven't yet. I could write about what I thought about it and the messages I loved from it, but I would only be reciting a collection of my old blogs. But when you watch it, think about the power of a truly loving and truly caring human being with an emphasis on the word TRULY. How beautiful our world could be if everyone lived with that value in mind. And don't give yourself to much credit when you think that either, don't tell yourself that if you were president or the leader of the world it would be a better place, because you're wrong. I've caught myself telling myself the exact thing, that if I could just speak to people and tell them how I felt that it would be a better place, but then right after I question myself. Who am I to say what is right? Who am I to say what is bad? Is our world, our society forever doomed? Maybe. Will we ever live perfect lives in a perfect place? Probably not. But we can live like human beings.

I guess a good segue out of V for Vendetta would be my thought on Microsoft Surface. If you haven't seen what Microsoft Surface is all about, go to http://www.microsoft.com/surface/ and watch the videos they have there. Pretty cool right? But at the same time doesn't it scare the shit out of you? Our lives are going to be so digital and so linked that we may soon not have any privacy left. If I'm someone that has nothing to hide, I shouldn't be worried, right? Yea, I guess so, but still. I am guessing the people who support the patriot act are loving the idea of Microsoft Surface. Now they can stalk our lives even harder and pump more fear into our lives. Propaganda is a powerful tool. I'm obviouslly not articulate or eloquent enough to change peoples minds with my words but for some reason it seems like movies are a more powerful medium. If people can see it and visualize it, they can understand it better. Thats how stupid we all are. There are so many connections I can make with V For Vendetta, but again, I don't feel like reciting my old blogs at noon on a cloudy day, there are better things I could be doing. I guess right now I am just asking people to think for themselves and don't let the fear be pumped into to you. I think...sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking. And does anyone know when the partiot act is going to be lifted? That thing scares the shit out of me. It's for our protection right? Or is it for the governments protection? "People shouldn't afraid of their government, the government should be afraid of their people." - Codename: V. Am I promoting anarchy by using that quote? Well I'm not sure, how do you want to spin my words? I guess I could say some proud bullshit like, "I'm just being patriotic, and helping my people," or, "I'm just being an american," but I won't. People only say that shit so they don't give their opponent any leverage. I'll just spit the truth. So I'm promoting anarchy? I guess by definition I am. But along with the issue of safety vs. freedom, what about man vs. machine? I think I might be a little paranoid here because I remember reading about stories when the computer came out. People were petrified of computers back then in fear that the machines would rise, kind of like the Terminator I guess. But think of it now, people back then were afraid of chips we use in calculators now. But I still worry a little bit because worrying is my nature. All of our info is going to be digital. It just seems like we could be fucked so easily. I mean, I play online video games and there are a shit load of hackers on those games. Its a good thing those are just video games. Oh well, hopefully I'll be dead before global warming, and before Microsoft Surface takes over our lives. What about my children? I probably won't have any because I will probably spend my life all alone. By choice? No, but I just don't see anything happening for me any time soon. I shared my views about dying alone with my Mom the other night over dinner and she says that she will help me find my special girl haha. Now that is some real game, my Mom and I at the bar macking on some fine hunnies. I'm sure my Mom could get more girls then I could haha. Here is something I am very envious about, how I don't have any real extended family. I told my Mom that I am sad because our family has it tough because some of our family, well most, lives in Korea. Right now I really need someone I can talk to, someone I can trust. But I have no friends I can talk to about my feelings, and my brother and my sister are much to young and suburbanized, and one can't really talk to ones parents about everything because they are parents, they think like parents and sometimes it affects their judgement. All they want to do is yell at your and make your life better then theirs. So really, who do I have? No one. I have no extended family and no friends. Lately I've been thinking the only people you can trust are the people your share blood with. But my options are so limited and it sucks. Oh! I totally forgot when I was talking about man vs. machine, I wanted to mention a movie called Appleseed. It is a Japanese animation flick, but it is damn good. Of course it's damn good, those Japanese mo fo's are so good at what they do. I guess I'll write more about it later because it is 12:45 now and I need to do other things. I hope everyone is well. Enjoy the shitty Minnesota weather.

The Realest Human Being On Eurf

I just woke up from a four hour nap in which I woke up in the middle of because I was sweating so damn much. Why I was perspiring so profusely without any real physical activity I do not know but I can think of some other reasons why a human being my sweat. I've been kind of freaking out lately just about myself, I guess would be the easiest way to put it. I feel like a lot of things are bothering me. Things that are out of my control, questions that have no answers to them, things that are confusing all have attributed to me going crazy. I guess I'm not clinically crazy yet, but I'll be there soon haha. Clinically insane and depressed, what a sweet combination.

The other night/early morning I tried to talk things out with my friends thinking it would make things better but I think it made things worse. Thursday morning around 2 a.m I went to Perkins with Jon, Mitch and Andy thinking it was going to be a normal trip for food and teenage conversation but it turned out to be more and I guess I was at the same time kind of expecting it. It started off like any other late night (We call it late night, but technically it is early morning) Perkins run with my debating if I wanted anything to eat so late and everyone trying to talk me into getting something. After we ordered with the usually chill servers that work at that hour we got the talking about the usual crap. Probably some ignorant ass shit about the government, some Donnie Darko philosophy, maybe a little sports (And only a little since all my friends, minus Dean, are sports world retarded), probably a lot of conversation on girls and then it all boiled down to life. The single most confusing element to life is life itself, at least to me. I've been struggling with life lately and I don't want that statement to scare anyone and/or make anyone think I am suicidal, because I'm not. Suicide is for the weak and it seems to easy to me (That statement shouldn't scare anyone either, haha). I feel bad for making that last comment because maybe it really isn't for the weak. Maybe someday I will become like those people because I will come to understand those people more. Who am I to call those people weak? This is also one of my problems, I'm always doubting and questioning myself. I am scared to make comments because I always think I am wrong. Do I have confidence and self image problems? No, I don't think so. I do think I am right most of the time and more often then other people and I do think I make "logical" decisions (Logical meaning to the standards of the cultures I live in). And I am only keeping it real when I say I am fucking ugly haha. So really, what is my problem? I don't know, and that is what is eating at me because if I did know, I'd be able to fix it. This blog isn't structured to well haha. Back to Perkins. We had one of the realest chats I have ever had and I did tell some truths and I got some things off my chest and I was able to explain how I was feeling. I would have liked to tell the whole truth, but when you know others aren't telling you the truth, its hard to come out (I am not gay). It is a very powerful tool to be able to feel when people are telling the truth and aren't and my friends aren't good liars. Out of the 4 of us, one of us was honest that night. I think it is safe to share (Of course its safe to share, no one reads these fucking things, and even if they did, who cares) that Jon was the only honest one because he has nothing to hide. Again, I would have liked to been completely honest but it is impossible to be honest around liars. How come Jon is so honest? Because he keeps life simple, he is content knowing that he really doesn't have any real skills and that he really only cares about himself. Maybe he doesn't know this, but it doesn't bother him that he doesn't know this and he just lives it. This type of innocence and ignorance is something I really envy. How come Mitch and Andy didn't tell the truth on everything? Because one of them has people to impress and one of them is maybe even more confused then I am. The confused one is able to cope with this confusion where I currently am not able to. How does he deal with it? I think maybe he doesn't actually know he is confused, or he is so far into his beliefs that he accepts things, or maybe he is comfortable living a lie. I don't think I can live a lie. Honesty is a moral I do believe in. There were so many things I wanted to blog about on Friday morning while I had the memories fresh but I woke up late (went to bed after 6 am) and then I had to help my Mom with yardwork right away and when I got in, Dick was on the computer watching his anime porn. So blog Sat right? No busy. Sunday? Not so busy, but Dick spent the WHOLE day, no lie, watching anime porn and then I let Leah on MySpace so she could stalk some more emo guys. So now it is Monday at 2:38 am, during this sentence, and I am trying to blog about what I remember. Two people cried that night, one of the participants being myself. That shit isn't the most manly thing I could say, but I don't think I'm very manly so who cares. Now we didn't cry like we owned the damn place, don't get the wrong image, but we did let out some tears and there was some snot involved and some sniffling. But most importantly, this is what I learned from the crying: that only two of the four people that went to Perkins cares if our little group of friends last through next weekend. The other two could care less if we never saw each other again because they view friendship kind of like a business. You offer me a product and I will offer you a product and as long as your product is better then mine, I will continue to subscribe. That is not how I viewed friendship because I truly am a people person and I used to believe that love was possible between two strangers if they were pure at heart. I was taught that love is only possible and is exclusive through blood and marriage and I thought that was total bull-shit, but I have no support against it. Slowly, that theory is settling on me. Sometimes I think blood isn't even enough to to fuel love and I would like to test the theory about love being possible through a man and a woman or any other combinations. So why is it that in my life and with the people around me, I am the only on able to give love? When Andy turned away from Mitch and to me to see tears across my face, his reaction was not one I expected. He jumped and said, "Oh shit!" I think this is because he has never felt or seen this type of loyalty ever before in his life. Actually I don' think, I know. I learned a lot about Andy that night through his actions and his words. I feel pretty bad for him because he is confortable living a lies. I feel bad for him because I couldn't live like that but, but I do envy him because he just doesn't care if he lives lies. One thing I didn't fully learn about him is, is he fully conscience of these lies and is afriad to face them in front of us? Or, is he so far gone that he just immune to these lies? I do believe that social anxiety has taken a slight toll on him. I've seen what peer pressure and social standards have done to him in the past and I thought he changed, but I see he really hasn't changed much. He told us that loyalty isn't a big moral in his life and I got the impression that he feels like it is a waste of time. I don't think he was lying when he said this, but I was a little confused. I remember a time when we tricked him. This was before our North Dakota road trip days and it was the day Dean's Dad came to pick him up to take him back home. I think we managed to get an extension out of Dean's Dad during our goodbyes or something like that. Andy wasn't there for the goodbyes and he got there to late, but he didn't know Dean got an extension. We told him that he missed Dean leave and it didn't seem to bother him and we sat there in Jon's driveway with a "now what..." attitude. Well, it was time for Dean to pop out and surprise and it worked. Andy chased Dean around the house with a "I'm angry because you guys tricked me, but happy about the results" attitude and when Dean finally stopped Andy threw a hug on him with tears in his eyes sceaming, "I love you Dean." Love, really? Jon joined the group hug first while saying something macho to cover up the emotions that were stirring that the time. I joined shortly with tears because I was so proud of these kids and so proud of what I had built. A group of friends that seemed to care enough for each other to consider one another family. So, what happened to that Andy and what happened to our group? Were we were young and stupid back then? Rather, were they young and stupid back then and I was just able to control them? Because I knew what I wanted and I knew what I felt. I've always been an honest and loyal person and thats what I wanted out of my friends. So is my problem now that they can think for themselves and I am no longer a part of their plan? Maybe that could be a part of my problem, but I know its not all of it. But back to a question I purposed earlier, what happened to that Andy? I think I found the answer earlier today. He may still hold a grudge against me for what happened between us. I don't think he blames Jon, but he certainly does blame me. I thought we were both past that, but its more and more obvious to me now. How could I be so stupid? And now that I let him back into our circle fully, is there any way to remove him without being the bad guy and without seeming like I am a complete hypocrite? Nope, I have given him to much leverage. Thats also kind of my problem is that I trust people way to quickly and I do give people to much leverage. People will only interact with you only of you have something they want. This "Want" doesn't always have to be material. Simple entertainment will draw people to you. If you're popular, people will want to use you for your connections. Here is an obvious one that even the simplest minds can't disagree with, if you are sexy/hot/attractive, people will want to fuck you. Well, I have this problem of sharing all my assets when I feel like I can trust someone. And when they learn how to steal those assests and have enough leverage, they don't need you anymore. It is sad, but thats how friendship works. During our talk Andy got mad at me on a number of topics. He called me a hypocrite and a non-socialist, and a conservative. It didn't deeply bother me, it was just kind of annoying. I got into an arguement with my Mom the other day and I had the same experience. I just let my Mom do all the talking, it didn't bother me, or a better way to put it, offend me, but it annoyed me. I guess I could counter them but they most likely wouldn't understand me. Maybe I am a the bad guy? Who else gets into all these arguments with parents and "friends?" Or is it because I'm not afraid to keep it real that I get into these arguments? If everyone kept it real, there would be a lot more debates. Or again, I'm I just a bad person? All I learned from Andy bashing me is, that he thinks all conservatives are bad people, which I don't agree with. He knows I'm liberal, he knows I'm a people person and I think he was simply trying to offend me but destroying those chracteriistics. So does he still hold a grudge against me? I don't know, but I think it supports it a little and only a very little because we were having an intense talk. He claimed if you are a liberal by definition, which I usually say I am because I don't like politics, you are a true conservative which I didn't and still don't get. A deinition I like from Dictionary.com is, "favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible." He said that if you are a liberal by definition you are a true conservative because they switched roles in history. After he said that, I just stopped talking, half because I was confused and I don't know how to follow up on something like that, and half because if someone is saying something that stupid, he is very emotional or very dumb. He also got mad at me when I said I didn't believe in evolution fully. I guess you can't be agnostic and not believe in evolution. You have to be a member of at least one. I feel like if I'm agnostic and I can't believe the church, what proof does scientists give me to trust evolution? Because it can be proven and because we can see it? There is no way some things can be coincidence right? I don't belive in the "Madden Curse" like some people do, I just believe some things can just happen. So the sun came out of no where or because of the big bang or whatever and caused little germs to morph into apes and apes into crazy human beings? To me, that sounds just as crazy as the bible. Of course he didn't say anything about the sun but rather told me to answer questions like, "Why are there fossils scattered across the earth?" and then continued to patronize with comments like, "Because people want to scam you right?" Pretty much asking me questions like a hardcore archeologist. I can accept that he believes in evolution, but he can't accept that I don't. Bascially he tried to push evolution on my like a hardcore christian would push christianity and I hate that. The funny thing is, Andy is known to hate christians for that reason as well. Is that the definition of a hypocrite? Or is it, if you're a hypocrite by definition, then you are truly honest? Anywho, this isn't an Andy bashing blog although I had to get some things of my chest about some things he is saying and doing I don't agree with. Know this, he believes in his words and his actions and I respect him for that, but it does not mean I need to believe in those things too. At least I think he believes in his words and actions. Sometimes I think he is even more confused then I. Anywho, the conversation ended shorter then I would have liked because the sun was coming up and Jon was worried that he wouldn't make it on his boat the next morning. I am not going to lie, this bothered me. We were having one of the realest conversations ever, and all Jon could think about was going on his family boat. This is how I know people just don't care about me. People would rather choose a boat over me without hesitation. Jon, who is suppose to be one of my best friends, chose his boat over me. But Jon known to be pretty materialistic and how can you blame him, he grew up in the suburbs and his family has enough money to afford it. Every winter break the day I dread comes along. The day after christmas where I have to listen to the catalogue of gifts Jon got. It is cool that he wants to let me know and it is cool that he got so many gifts, but damn, I don't care that you got a bucket of monkeys and an eye patch. Why not just tell me, "I got DDR pads," or something that actually has to do with me. When Jon goes to Florida, he lets everyone know it. When Jon gets a sword, he lets everyone know it. When Jon gets a boat, he lets everyone know it. And if I based my life on materialistic things, then fuck yea, I'd be pumped and jealous. I just get kind of depressed when people choose materials over me because I once heard you can't put a price on human life. Why is it that people choose boats over me? Why is it that people choose liquor and drugs over me? Its probably because I can't offer them things anymore. You can only offer love for so long before people get sick of it. Its not worth anything to these suburban people. Money will buy them happiness. Anywho, I kind of just lost my thought and I think this is enough bitching for the moment, and by moment I mean sentence. After Perkins we went on my hill to watch the sun rise. Let me tell you, if you haven't fully experienced a sun rise, please, do it. I mean fully get in to it, go out 30 minutes prior to its rise while the sky is still navy and dedicate yourself to the rise. Don't think about anything else. It'll blow you away. The horizon allows you to see how fast the sun is really moving. I think the whole sun climbed over the edge in like five minutes. It was an amazing sight, one I plan to do again soon, but I don't when since I hate summer humidity and bugs.

There were some other things I wanted to and planned to blog about but I will wait for another blog. Probably tomorrow haha. A more up beat and positive energy blog I hope. God, this blog helps me feel better and I think I will sleep well. Maybe not well, but better then I have this past week. I can't wait to blog again. I need to find some motivation somewhere and somehow, but when you're feeling down, its hard to do that. I read earlier that blogging is for emos. Well if you're a sterotype emo, this must make you feel a lot better.