Going to keep this one short because I don't need to be writting blogs for hours again after I just wrote one about 7 hours ago and I need to start editing videos and do some yard work and cleaning. Last night I had a dream and I remembered it only because its like the 4th time I had that dream. Remembering dreams are crazy. The smallest stimuli can help you remember the dream but without that small push its hard to remember. I read about this sensory deprivation tank in my latest issue of AP and it sounds amazing. Francis Mark, the frontman of the band From Autumn to Ashes, shares his experiences with the deprivation tank and it just sounds like something I want to try. Basically you float in salt water and the water is the same temperature as your skin and there is no light and there is no sound and the air is clean and basically you lay there and feel nothing. What would you think about when there are no influences on you? When even the most constant pressures of gravity are eliminated. I talked about what an uninfluenced person might be like with a couple of friends a while back and we couldn't even imagine what that might be like. What if after being born you were released to learn everything by yourself. No one could influence you, no one could tell you to be liberal or conservative, no one could tell you if there was a god or not, no one could tell you what was wrong or right. Wouldn't this be the only way to figure out what is truly human instincts? There would be no bias in this persons answers. Of course this would never happen, but just imagine it. Anywho, back to my dream. I keep having this dream where I run after a city bus. I often get really close to it and I yell for the driver to stop for just 10 extra seconds so that I could catch up to it and some how I know he hears me but he leaves. I continue chasing it and sometimes I get on the bus, and sometimes I don't. When I get on I never talk to the driver and I never even look. Why? Wouldn't I be pissed he/she made me chase the bus for miles? I get on and I look around and I often see people that I knew in my past but you know when you see people you kind of knew and you know both of you guys remember each other but you kind of ignore each other...its kind of like that. I see people look at me but when I look at them they always look away.
My X-Box 360 broke and my laptop is still broken. I still need to mail both of them in to get fixed. Lately I've been trying a new diet. I call it the metabolism diet. Basically I eat small meals like 5 times a day and I try to get some excercise between meals and hopefully my metabolism burns away all the energy. I haven't lost any weight in the two weeks but I do feel a little bit better and thats what matters to me. Anywho, I promised I would keep this blog short so I am. Breakfast, Gay'mon2, yard work, clean.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Dear Diary, Sorry
I haven't blogged for about a month and that sucks because that means I missed my opportunity to blog my feelings on things and missed chances to blog memories I want to remember but most likely won't since my brian is the equivalent of puny 20 gigabyte harddrive. Not a lot of space when your world revolves around MP3 files and AVI files, I mean my iPod photo is even 30 gigabytes. Anywho, enough bashing on the capacity of my memory. Now time for some random thoughts and hopefully I can catch my blog up on what has been going on in my life.
I've just been living the life ever since summer break started. Go to bed at 2, wake up around 9, go through the morning routine of eating breakfast, getting some exercise in, doing some chores, then hanging out with friends when they are around, check on some things and finish some chores before bed, then doing it all over again. I've got a list of things I need to do and I've only been able to mark off a couple of items. I really need to get my laptop fixed because my life basically is on hold until I can get a functional computer. It is kind of sad how much ones life can be attached to a computer. More frightening then sad. I wonder how mentally ill I would be if computers were wiped off the earth. No more video games, no more movies, no more music, no more communication, no more news. Anywho, my pattern has been all out of wack lately but once I get it back on track I plan to pound out my list of chores. After I'm done with my list of chores, which is made up a lot of cleaning and organizing, I plan on getting some library books and I plan on writing some music. I also need to find a job because I can't run from a jobless life for to long. I question life sometimes and I question where man is historically more because I don't get point of life anymore. Life seems to be so simple, wake up, go to work for most of the day wheter you like it or not, go home for a few hours to eat and say hi to your family then go to work after a couple hours of sleep. During what part of the day are we allowed to be human beings? When are we able to sit around and absorb our surroundings and think about life. Sometimes I don't think I was meant to live during this period of mans history. I hear stories about what heaven might be like if there is a heaven. I don't know if I heard correctly or if my 20 gigabyte brain is failing me but it sounded like heaven is a place without toil. A place where we aren't forced to do what we don't want to do just to get by. Now that sounds like...well, heaven. If I were to go to heaven, I would just sit around all day under a tree with my iPod and watch people float around or whatever. I would just sit there and let my senses just do their things. This is if Christianity is the real deal and not just a big hoax and on top of that I don't think my agnostic views will earn me a seat under that tree. Oh well, maybe I deserve to burn in hell for a little while. And why do we have to burn in hell, why can't we just chill there? Is Satan such a bad guy that he only pulls us to hell to torture us? He must want us there for something. If the afterlife is just as confusing as the life I live right now, I quit. Please remove any cognitive ability I have because I don't want to be able to think for myself. I have ignorant friends, and sometimes I see the problems they face and it all just seems so elementary. I say that, but then here I go again and I think myself crazy telling myself maybe I am the stupid one. They all have their life figured out, maybe I suck at life. I think I havee a problem of doubting myself and looking at things from to many angles, sometimes I am to open minded. Lately I've been telling myself I've been going crazy and it really feels like it. What normal person thinks the way I do? Who cares that modern civilization is fast paced and mechanical? There seems to be a couple billion people who don't mind it. They may not like the condition of life, but they are able to accept it. Why can't I accept it? Is it because I am crazy? Again, I sometimes just don't get the point of life sometimes. I also think that I am very lonely. No one really understands me. I feel stupid when I write things like that because isn't that what teenage girls write in their pink Bratz journals? Sometimes I feel like I get less and less mature as I age. When I was in highschool, I talked about things adults talked about, and now that I am in college, I write about emotions teenage girls feel. Am I philisophical or retarted or just a little bitch? Or again, crazy? One of my biggest fears is being alone and right now I am very alone. It seems like I can't find happiness is a hard thing to find. Harder then happiness, loyalty. I could explain my viewpoint again on loaylty, but that would be a waste of time, my views on loyalty will forever be different when compared to everyone elses. And that makes my definition of loyalty wrong right? Because my definition doesn't seem to match the majorities? I never understood this majority rules concept. So if the majority is wrong but a majority favor something, that makes it right? Confusing. Do people not have human intuition anymore? Maybe this is why people can accept a mechanical life? I feel like I still use my human abilities once in a while. I base things off feeling and not always what I'm told and what the stats say. The human spirit is a powerful tool, use it sometimes. Maybe this is why I feel alone, because I am the only fully functional human being in my life. I walk alone in the sea of warm blooded, walking, talking robots. Maybe I'm not as modest as I think I am. It appears that I am putting myself above everyone, but at the same time, I put my self below everyone because I am not part of the majority and it is unhealthy to be crazy, correct? I like to think that I am a humble human being. I think part of that has to do with that through out my life, I have always been told that I can't do this or that because of some limitation I have. Lately I have been trying to tell myself that I can do this or that, and that I am just being to humble. I don't know. I just confuse myself when I talk about things like this. Lately I only feel truly happy around a couple of people. My friend Jon seems to always be there and although we joke about his ignorant nature, he really is one of the brighter people I know. We all joke about it and make fun of his "innocence" more then others but thats only because he accepts that he sometimes isn't the most aware person. I have a couple of friends who seem like the will never come to understand that they are not as good as they make them selves out to be. Last night I was very annoyed by a friends self boasting. He has a history of being cocky but still, I just can't be around that all night. I give credit where credit is due, but he refused to accept that he really is bad at what he was doing. I am really excited for Jon to get done with school so I can be around him a little more. I am hoping to spend a lot of time with him this summer because I really won't see him when school comes back around. He plans of working full time at his Dads place but hopefully he will make some time for me. Again, its not up to me, my loyalty will always be there. I've come to understand that since I will always be there, I will leave the choice to the other party. I think the departure of Jon will have great consequences for our group of friends. I think after this summer, only people who want to remain in the group will remain and everyone else will move on to "better" things. It seems very easy for people to let go of things and move on to the next thing that is offered. This fear makes me want to move in with Dean and Mitch this fall because I really do value people. I think he lets me, Jon and I will be friends for a long time. This means that people closely affiliated with Jon will also be allowed to join us for the ride. Dean will most likely be there, but I can see him switching parties because of a better offer. I can see A-Christ being there. I can even see Mitch and maybe even Ben Lee being there in my future. Other then that, this may be the last summer with many of my other friends. I will try to enjoy it while it lasts, but it is hard for me to invest in something I know won't be there for me in the future. Greedy? Maybe so, but I've given a lot already. Along with Jon, the revival of my friend A-Christ (Andy Christenson) has been very refreshing. We went through a tough time and my stubborn nature didn't help. But again, I feel like I had no wrong doing in our bout (Sounds like I think I am always right haha). I still may right about our history some day. But it seems like during our time away from each other, he was allowed to do some soul searching, some real human searching. I appreacite that he still acts like a human being. Lastly, spending time with my old friend Ben Lee has been refreshing. I didn't think I would see him much this summer because I really thought he had moved on the "better" things. And the summer is young, maybe I won't see him for the rest of summer, its up to him, but I appreciate the last couple of meetings with him. On Saturday I think it was, I got to sit with him one on one at Peter's party and we just sat there and played music. I felt alive I guess. I've never done drugs before, and please don't laugh at this next statement haha, but I guess I felt high almost (Such a stupid comment haha). I felt tired, but awake, I felt like I wasn't thinking, but I was. A very euphoric feeling I guess. I wish we could have spent the rest of the night like that, but Megan McDounough (how ever you spell that crazy ass last name) came over and it kind of snapped me out of what ever state I was in. But it was okay, we had a fun conversation. I never realized, but in a public setting, Ben and I make a nice little team. We put on this half retared act and I don't know why. Maybe I desire some attention or something. Maybe I search for love. Maybe I'm crazy.
I just woke up from a mean nap about an hour ago (1 am) and that is not good because now I'll probably go to sleep at like 4 am and wake up around noon. The next few chores I need to do are help my parents with the landscaping and clean my room. I want to adjust my clothes so my closet is summer ready. I have a lot of long sleeves and coats hanging right now. Summer attire is so boring compared to winter attire because you don't get to layer and have fun. But I hate being hot and Minnesota humidity is horrible so I guess I have to live with it. After all that I will probably try my luck with some music and edit Gay'mon 2: Gay'me on. Lately I've been trying to learn more about my singing voice and I've come to realize I really suck at singing haha. Screaming I fair okay, but when it comes to singing I suck. I have no strength in my voice and when I try to sing composed its often nasally and it sounds like I'm flat a lot of the time. Maybe I need to borrow a book on singing. I wish I had the talent to sing, because then I could make a living off doing something I really love, Creating. Creating art that makes people feel.
Anywho, I'll probably start editing Gay'mon2 after I end this blog. I will try to make blogging and regular thing and I hope to finish my zombie blogs as well.
I've just been living the life ever since summer break started. Go to bed at 2, wake up around 9, go through the morning routine of eating breakfast, getting some exercise in, doing some chores, then hanging out with friends when they are around, check on some things and finish some chores before bed, then doing it all over again. I've got a list of things I need to do and I've only been able to mark off a couple of items. I really need to get my laptop fixed because my life basically is on hold until I can get a functional computer. It is kind of sad how much ones life can be attached to a computer. More frightening then sad. I wonder how mentally ill I would be if computers were wiped off the earth. No more video games, no more movies, no more music, no more communication, no more news. Anywho, my pattern has been all out of wack lately but once I get it back on track I plan to pound out my list of chores. After I'm done with my list of chores, which is made up a lot of cleaning and organizing, I plan on getting some library books and I plan on writing some music. I also need to find a job because I can't run from a jobless life for to long. I question life sometimes and I question where man is historically more because I don't get point of life anymore. Life seems to be so simple, wake up, go to work for most of the day wheter you like it or not, go home for a few hours to eat and say hi to your family then go to work after a couple hours of sleep. During what part of the day are we allowed to be human beings? When are we able to sit around and absorb our surroundings and think about life. Sometimes I don't think I was meant to live during this period of mans history. I hear stories about what heaven might be like if there is a heaven. I don't know if I heard correctly or if my 20 gigabyte brain is failing me but it sounded like heaven is a place without toil. A place where we aren't forced to do what we don't want to do just to get by. Now that sounds like...well, heaven. If I were to go to heaven, I would just sit around all day under a tree with my iPod and watch people float around or whatever. I would just sit there and let my senses just do their things. This is if Christianity is the real deal and not just a big hoax and on top of that I don't think my agnostic views will earn me a seat under that tree. Oh well, maybe I deserve to burn in hell for a little while. And why do we have to burn in hell, why can't we just chill there? Is Satan such a bad guy that he only pulls us to hell to torture us? He must want us there for something. If the afterlife is just as confusing as the life I live right now, I quit. Please remove any cognitive ability I have because I don't want to be able to think for myself. I have ignorant friends, and sometimes I see the problems they face and it all just seems so elementary. I say that, but then here I go again and I think myself crazy telling myself maybe I am the stupid one. They all have their life figured out, maybe I suck at life. I think I havee a problem of doubting myself and looking at things from to many angles, sometimes I am to open minded. Lately I've been telling myself I've been going crazy and it really feels like it. What normal person thinks the way I do? Who cares that modern civilization is fast paced and mechanical? There seems to be a couple billion people who don't mind it. They may not like the condition of life, but they are able to accept it. Why can't I accept it? Is it because I am crazy? Again, I sometimes just don't get the point of life sometimes. I also think that I am very lonely. No one really understands me. I feel stupid when I write things like that because isn't that what teenage girls write in their pink Bratz journals? Sometimes I feel like I get less and less mature as I age. When I was in highschool, I talked about things adults talked about, and now that I am in college, I write about emotions teenage girls feel. Am I philisophical or retarted or just a little bitch? Or again, crazy? One of my biggest fears is being alone and right now I am very alone. It seems like I can't find happiness is a hard thing to find. Harder then happiness, loyalty. I could explain my viewpoint again on loaylty, but that would be a waste of time, my views on loyalty will forever be different when compared to everyone elses. And that makes my definition of loyalty wrong right? Because my definition doesn't seem to match the majorities? I never understood this majority rules concept. So if the majority is wrong but a majority favor something, that makes it right? Confusing. Do people not have human intuition anymore? Maybe this is why people can accept a mechanical life? I feel like I still use my human abilities once in a while. I base things off feeling and not always what I'm told and what the stats say. The human spirit is a powerful tool, use it sometimes. Maybe this is why I feel alone, because I am the only fully functional human being in my life. I walk alone in the sea of warm blooded, walking, talking robots. Maybe I'm not as modest as I think I am. It appears that I am putting myself above everyone, but at the same time, I put my self below everyone because I am not part of the majority and it is unhealthy to be crazy, correct? I like to think that I am a humble human being. I think part of that has to do with that through out my life, I have always been told that I can't do this or that because of some limitation I have. Lately I have been trying to tell myself that I can do this or that, and that I am just being to humble. I don't know. I just confuse myself when I talk about things like this. Lately I only feel truly happy around a couple of people. My friend Jon seems to always be there and although we joke about his ignorant nature, he really is one of the brighter people I know. We all joke about it and make fun of his "innocence" more then others but thats only because he accepts that he sometimes isn't the most aware person. I have a couple of friends who seem like the will never come to understand that they are not as good as they make them selves out to be. Last night I was very annoyed by a friends self boasting. He has a history of being cocky but still, I just can't be around that all night. I give credit where credit is due, but he refused to accept that he really is bad at what he was doing. I am really excited for Jon to get done with school so I can be around him a little more. I am hoping to spend a lot of time with him this summer because I really won't see him when school comes back around. He plans of working full time at his Dads place but hopefully he will make some time for me. Again, its not up to me, my loyalty will always be there. I've come to understand that since I will always be there, I will leave the choice to the other party. I think the departure of Jon will have great consequences for our group of friends. I think after this summer, only people who want to remain in the group will remain and everyone else will move on to "better" things. It seems very easy for people to let go of things and move on to the next thing that is offered. This fear makes me want to move in with Dean and Mitch this fall because I really do value people. I think he lets me, Jon and I will be friends for a long time. This means that people closely affiliated with Jon will also be allowed to join us for the ride. Dean will most likely be there, but I can see him switching parties because of a better offer. I can see A-Christ being there. I can even see Mitch and maybe even Ben Lee being there in my future. Other then that, this may be the last summer with many of my other friends. I will try to enjoy it while it lasts, but it is hard for me to invest in something I know won't be there for me in the future. Greedy? Maybe so, but I've given a lot already. Along with Jon, the revival of my friend A-Christ (Andy Christenson) has been very refreshing. We went through a tough time and my stubborn nature didn't help. But again, I feel like I had no wrong doing in our bout (Sounds like I think I am always right haha). I still may right about our history some day. But it seems like during our time away from each other, he was allowed to do some soul searching, some real human searching. I appreacite that he still acts like a human being. Lastly, spending time with my old friend Ben Lee has been refreshing. I didn't think I would see him much this summer because I really thought he had moved on the "better" things. And the summer is young, maybe I won't see him for the rest of summer, its up to him, but I appreciate the last couple of meetings with him. On Saturday I think it was, I got to sit with him one on one at Peter's party and we just sat there and played music. I felt alive I guess. I've never done drugs before, and please don't laugh at this next statement haha, but I guess I felt high almost (Such a stupid comment haha). I felt tired, but awake, I felt like I wasn't thinking, but I was. A very euphoric feeling I guess. I wish we could have spent the rest of the night like that, but Megan McDounough (how ever you spell that crazy ass last name) came over and it kind of snapped me out of what ever state I was in. But it was okay, we had a fun conversation. I never realized, but in a public setting, Ben and I make a nice little team. We put on this half retared act and I don't know why. Maybe I desire some attention or something. Maybe I search for love. Maybe I'm crazy.
I just woke up from a mean nap about an hour ago (1 am) and that is not good because now I'll probably go to sleep at like 4 am and wake up around noon. The next few chores I need to do are help my parents with the landscaping and clean my room. I want to adjust my clothes so my closet is summer ready. I have a lot of long sleeves and coats hanging right now. Summer attire is so boring compared to winter attire because you don't get to layer and have fun. But I hate being hot and Minnesota humidity is horrible so I guess I have to live with it. After all that I will probably try my luck with some music and edit Gay'mon 2: Gay'me on. Lately I've been trying to learn more about my singing voice and I've come to realize I really suck at singing haha. Screaming I fair okay, but when it comes to singing I suck. I have no strength in my voice and when I try to sing composed its often nasally and it sounds like I'm flat a lot of the time. Maybe I need to borrow a book on singing. I wish I had the talent to sing, because then I could make a living off doing something I really love, Creating. Creating art that makes people feel.
Anywho, I'll probably start editing Gay'mon2 after I end this blog. I will try to make blogging and regular thing and I hope to finish my zombie blogs as well.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
I'm running out of names here
Tomorrow (Friday) is the last day of class for my spring semester of 2007. Pretty crazy how quickly it went. I have a short Korean final presentation and in my rock discussion we will be reviewing for our final. Sounds like a pretty easy day. And of course, Lunch with my wonderful mother.
I wish I lived in New Jersey because this weekend they are hosting Bamboozle 2007. For those of you not familiar with Bomboozle, it is the emo, indie, screamo, post-hardcore, punk, etc, equivalent of "We Fest" (is that how you spell it? I was going to spell it Wii Fest, but after Wii came out everything is Wii to me). I think, I don't listen to much country. If anyone wants to road trip it right when I get home on Friday, lets do this damn thing. Oh, p.s, I don't have a car, tee hee. It'd be such an amazing way to kick off my summer break and such a good warm up for Warped Tour 2007 which is going to be amazing, no doubt about it. I hope everyone is able to experience Warped at least one time in their life. But back to Bamboozle, tons of amazing bands that I would love to see live. I am making it a life goal to go there once. Check this friggin list:
Saturday May 5th
PEP RALLY
10:00 - 10:40 DJ PRIME
10:40 - 10:45 PARADE OF NOTHINGS FEATURING POP POP PONTIFF & THE FAULTER BOYS
10:45 - 10:50 ELMO'S MEADOWLANDS ADDRESS
10:50 - 11:30 ANDREW WK
11:30 - 11:31 RIBBON CUTTING CEREMONY
11:31 - 12:00 DJ PRIME
MAIN STAGE A
11:45 - 12:05 SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING
12:25 - 12:55 PHIL BENSEN
1:25 - 1:55 BOYS LIKE GIRLS
2:25 - 2:55 SILVERSTEIN
3:25 - 3:55 BAYSIDE
4:25 - 4:55 CARTEL
5:25 - 5:55 SAY ANYTHING
6:30 - 7:05 NEW FOUND GLORY
7:40 - 8:20 HELLOGOODBYE
9:00 - 10:30 MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
MONSTER STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 END OF AN ERA
12:55 - 1:25 THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS
1:55 - 2:25 CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR
2:55 - 3:25 PARAMORE
3:55 - 4:25 THE SPILL CANVAS
4:55 - 5:25 THE STARTING LINE
5:55 - 6:30 MC HAMMER
7:05 - 7:40 SAVES THE DAY
8:20 - 9:00 MUSE
CARNIVALE STAGE
12:05- 12:25 SAY WHEN
12:45 - 1:15 THE FORECAST
1:45 - 2:15 THE PINK SPIDERS
2:45 - 3:15 VALENCIA
3:45 - 4:15 LYDIA
4:45 - 5:15 SECONDHAND SERENADE
5:45 - 6:15 THIS PROVIDENCE
6:45 - 7:15 GREAT AMERICAN FREEDOM MACHINE (Motion City Soundtrack)
7:55 - 8:25 THE ROCKET SUMMER
SAINTS & SINNERS STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 MUTINY
12:25 - 12:45 THE HIGH COURT
1:15 - 1:45 PERMANENT ME
2:15 - 2:45 MAYLENE & THE SONS OF DISASTER
3:15 - 3:45 MEN WOMEN & CHILDREN
4:15 - 4:45 HOUSTON CALLS
5:15 - 5:45 HIT THE LIGHTS
6:15 - 6:45 BEARFORT (Thursday)
7:15 - 7:25 ELMO'S BIG BAND
7:25 - 7:55 YESTERDAY'S 2MORROW (Van Stone)
8:25 - 9:00 LORDI
RIOT SQUAD STAGE
11:30 - 11:50 THE LOOK
12:10 - 12:30 AND THEN THERE WERE MACHINES
12:55 - 1:25 FORGIVE DURDEN
1:55 - 2:25 THE AKAS
2:55 - 3:25 LIMBECK
3:55 - 4:25 MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA
4:55 - 5:25 THE CRIBS
5:55 - 6:25 HOT ROD CIRCUIT
6:55 - 7:25 MONEEN
7:55 - 8:25 CAPTURED BY ROBOTS
MACBETH STAGE
11:50 - 12:10 VAMPIRE FOR HIRE
12:35 - 12:55 SKULL MOTION
1:25 - 1:55 PLAYRADIOPLAY
2:25 - 2:55 RONNIE DAY
3:25 - 3:55 MOROS EROS
4:25 - 4:55 MADINA LAKE
5:25 - 5:55 THE AUDITION
6:25 - 6:55 MEG & DIA
7:25 - 7:55 THE ALMOST
8:25 - 8:55 THE HUSH SOUND
BAMBOOZLE TV STUDIO
12:35 - 1:05 WE THE KINGS
1:20 - 1:50 HOLIDAY PARADE
2:05 - 2:35 ENVY ON THE COAST
3:00 - 3:30 THE LOCALS (The Matches)
3:50 - 4:20 THRICE
4:30 - 4:45 DAN BOULGER
5:00 - 5:30 BIKER WOMEN (The Sleeping)
5:50 - 6:20 FOREVER IN MOTION
6:30 - 7:00 NEW ATLANTIC
7:20 - 7:40 FAKE GIMMS
8:00 - 8:20 BETRAYAL
PASS THE MIC LEFT STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 ENDLESS ESCAPE
12:25 - 12:45 RENDER
1:05 - 1:30 THE SUNSTREAK
1:50 - 2:20 HIGH CLASS ELITE
2:45 - 3:10 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
3:50 - 4:25 WHOLE WHEAT BREAD FT ROB BASE & DJ EZ ROCK
4:55 - 5:10 BERT KREISCHER
5:30 - 5:45 MITCH FATEL
6:05 - 6:15 MIKE BOCCHETTI
6:15 - 6:30 DONNELL RAWLINGS
7:00 - 7:30 JUST SURRENDER
8:00 - 9:00 THE LIAM SHOW
PASS THE MIC RIGHT STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 THE IRONBOUND
12:45 - 1:05 GROUND TO MACHINE
1:30 - 1:50 CAPITOL RISK
2:20 - 2:45 SO THEY SAY
3:10 - 3:35 PATENT PENDING
3:35 - 3:50 NICK THUNE
4:25 - 4:55 THE CASKET SALESMEN
5:10 - 5:30 MAYBRIDGE
5:45 - 6:05 RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT
6:30 - 7:00 BETWEEN THE TREES
7:30 - 8:00 JEFFREE STAR
Sunday May 6th
MAIN STAGE A
12:05 - 12:45 BRAND NEW
1:15 - 1:45 JEDI MIND TRICKS
2:15 - 2:45 THE EARLY NOVEMBER
3:15 - 3:45 MAE
4:15 - 4:45 ARMOR FOR SLEEP
5:15 - 5:45 THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS
6:15 - 6:50 THRICE
7:25 - 8:05 TAKING BACK SUNDAY
8:50 - 10:15 LINKIN PARK
MONSTER STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 CORDOVA
12:45 - 1:15 YOUNG LOVE
1:45 - 2:15 RELIENT K
2:45 - 3:15 FROM FIRST TO LAST
3:45 - 4:15 CIRCA SURVIVE
4:45 - 5:15 KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
5:45 - 6:15 YELLOWCARD
6:50 - 7:25 JACKS MANNEQUIN
8:05 - 8:50 WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
CARNIVALE STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 RECKLESS SONS
12:25 - 12:50 THE SECRET HANDSHAKE
1:20 - 1:50 ANBERLIN
2:20 - 2:50 LYDIA
3:20 - 3:50 DAPHNE LOVES DERBY
4:20 - 4:50 ALL TIME LOW
5:20 - 5:50 THE SLEEPING
6:20 - 6:50 PLAIN WHITE T'S
7:20 - 7:50 VAN STONE
8:20 - 8:50 LORDI
SAINTS & SINNERS STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 FOUR STORIES
12:50 - 1:20 SAINT CAINE
1:50 - 2:20 DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS
2:50 - 3:20 HASTE THE DAY
3:50 - 4:20 THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
4:50 - 5:20 IT DIES TODAY
5:50 - 6:20 THE BLED
6:50 - 7:20 NORMA JEAN
7:50 - 8:20 AS I LAY DYING
RIOT SQUAD STAGE
11:35 - 12:00 BLESS THE FALL
12:25 - 12:50 THE OOHLAS
1:20 - 1:50 THE DEAR HUNTER
2:20 - 2:50 SCHOOLYARD HEROES
3:20 - 3:50 HALIFAX
4:20 - 4:50 STATE RADIO
5:20 - 5:50 RX BANDITS
6:20 - 6:50 XCANUCKX (Silverstein)
7:20 - 7:50 JULIETTE & THE LICKS
8:20 - 8:50 CAPTURED BY ROBOTS
MACBETH STAGE
12:00 - 12:25 NORA
12:50 - 1:20 SHERWOOD
1:50 - 2:20 THE MATCHES
2:50 - 3:20 FAIR TO MIDLAND
3:50 - 4:20 SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS
4:50 - 5:20 ENVY ON THE COAST
5:50 - 6:20 THE DEATH OF... (Hawthorne Heights)
6:50 - 7:20 CATCH 22
7:50 - 8:20 THE JONAS BROTHERS
BAMBOOZLE TV STUDIO
12:15 - 12:35 PHIL BENSEN
12:40 - 1:05 SECONDHAND SERENADE
1:10 - 1:35 THE SPILL CANVAS
1:50 - 2:15 DANGER:RADIO
2:30 - 2:50 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
3:05 - 3:30 KYLE & NAT
3:35 - 4:00 RETARDOBOT (Madina Lake)
4:25 - 4:50 JACKS MANNEQUIN
5:05 - 5:35 TREATY OF PARIS
5:50 - 6:20 AMBER PACIFIC
6:35 - 7:05 QUIET DRIVE
7:20 - 7:50 THE GRADUATE
8:05 - 8:25 COMMAND RADIO
PASS THE MIC STAGE RIGHT
11:40 - 12:00 CONDITIONS
12:20 - 12:45 WE ARE THE FURY
1:10 - 1:35 DRIVE BY
1:55 - 2:20 DAVE MELILLO
2:40 - 3:00 POWERSPACE
3:15 - 3:45 REVOLUTION MOTHER
4:10 - 4:35 MONTY ARE I
4:50 - 5:15 MELEE
5:40 - 5:55 SHANE MAUSS
6:10 - 6:35 STATUS GREEN
7:05 - 7:25 MORE LIKE THE MOON
7:45 - 8:05 PERFUMA
8:25 - 8:55 ROBERT KELLY
PASS THE MIC STAGE LEFT
12:00 - 12:20 STEREO SKYLINE
12:45 - 1:10 CLARA LOFARO
1:35 - 1:55 FOUR LETTER LIE
2:20 - 2:40 THE MURDER & THE HARLOT
3:00 - 3:15 CHRIS KANIK
3:45 - 4:10 KENOTIA
4:35 - 4:50 PETE CORREALE
5:15 - 5:40 CAFFEINE
5:55 - 6:10 JOSH SPEAR
6:35 - 7:05 MIKE BIRBIGLIA
7:25 - 7:45 BLACKTOP MOURNING
8:05 - 8:25 COUNTERFIT PENNIES
If you are a rock fan, tell me you didn't pee pee your pants a little? Well actually don't, cause thats nasty. I wish I could fly right about now.
Lately, I've been thinking about making my blogs private because my blogs sometimes get kind of juicy because I like to think and blog about taboo topics. Yes they are taboo, but they are real life topics and I hate to sidestep them, but I don't need negativity from commenters. I really like hearing about from other people because more perspectives mean more knowledge, but if people can't respond with a respectful and open minded tone, then I just don't want to hear it. 90% of me blogging is so I can collect my thoughts and get them on paper (or digital paper?) so I can organize what I really think and so I can come back and look at them in the future. The 10% is so I can hear what people think, because again, being multicultured is very important I think. Being ignorant from what other people are thinking and closing your self off from other thoughts should be a crime punishable by death, or castration, either will do. So I will see how this works out and I will begin to experiment with closed blogs depending on things.
I have a problem and that problem is that I like to talk to much and I like to ask to many question about thoughts and values. Maybe this is why I get into trouble with so many of my blogs. This problem has only come up recently after I discovered my love for human thought. I wrote in my blog notes that I was going mention this and I was going to talk about how maybe I should shut the fuck up a little from now on. No one wants to hear me ramble about how I think life is inevitably confusing and no one wants to hear my unarticulated and non poetic thoughts. But then I read a blog and I told my self "screw people, they can kiss my ass," and if they don't want to hear my philosophy on life, well to bad. I'm going to force feed them until they puke. Here is the blog I read that changed my perspective:
Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. No one has a claim over your life and your opinions. On this tour a book had been given to me called: Uncommon Sense. Sort of the companion book of Common Sense, finishing off what Thomas Paine began. A very political, or should I say unpolitical book, so for those afraid of new ideas please don't venture off to begin this book. Anyway, aside from all the political "nonsense" if you will, which I found to be such a rude awakening and keen eye opener, refreshing, blah blah blah, near the end of the book I found an idea that I believe could or should appeal to all of you. The book began to get very personal, portraying a scenario that could accurately describe my own life, much to the delight of the author I'm sure. He began to say things like, "why do you think people turn to all these entertainments of movies, and music, food, woman (ugh!)?" I always thought engaging in these activities was a perfectly healthy thing to do until I read the next couple lines..."to escape!" The authors voice echoed re-percussively in my head. To escape from what? "To escape from BOREDOM! To escape from lack of purpose!" Curiously I read a bit further. Well everybody tries to answer the stupid-get you nowhere, unimportant, unnecessary question: what is the purpose of life? All right tough guy, try to defy every text book, every philosophical pamphlet in your little political opinion book. He wrote, "The purpose of life is to live FREE." Completely unprepared and unwilling to be moved I found myself stunned: to live free. To live how you want. Do what you want. LIve how you want to live. So now, we arrive back to the important topic here. The topic of tour. Yes the topic being discussed between Saves the Day, The Deer Hunter, Say Anything and us - Meg and Dia. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out here. Feel free to find my house and egg it. Find my car and empty out the air from my tires. Publicly denounce me. Whatever you want. Just don't you DARE touch Frou Frou, my stuffed cat. Anyway, here it comes: I don't find The Get Up Kids to be legendary. There, I said it! All the respect if you ever had any. Gone out the window. Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. Uh huh. You know that guy Chris Conelly, yeah, that's the one. He kind of sings and writes and is Saves the Day, the legend, the pioneer. And Max Bemis, yeah the wonder boy genius. Well, they all know. They all like The Get Up Kids. I'm pretty sure, The Get Up Kids wouldn't stick a Meg and Dia cd in for longer than 2 minutes. Perfect. Cool. They don't like it. I don't like it. You don't like it. If you don't like the Beatles that's fine. If you don't like purple. That's fine. If you don't like us you're going to Hell. If you don't like scrambled eggs cool. Granted some opinions are a bit more risky to state publicly than others. But that's how you grow. This is how you become your OWN individual, by judging and discerning your OWN opinions based on knowledge you YOURSELF have discovered. That's who you are. Don't fear it. Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. Maybe, like in my case, an individual on the tour whom I respect in one of the above mentioned bands might come up to you and say, "Hey you know your OUTRAGEOUS comment about the Get Up Kids?" (here is where they look back and forth tentatively just to be sure no one is listening), "well, I kind of agree with you". Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live.
-Meg Frampton
Here is what I wrote in response to her blog:
Dearest Meg Frampton,
I loved reading this, I can relate it to a lot of recent events in my own life. Sorry if this comment turns out to be super long, I'm kind of bad at articulating my thoughts and feelings.
I write this comment like my questions and concerns are actually going to be answered, but you never know. I assume you guys are very busy and I'm not blaming you guys at all. And its not only you guys I want to hear from, I want to hear from anyone that has any input. Life is so confusing and the more presepctives I learn about, the better I feel.
And is it scary that I know your whole name even though we have never met? Is it scary that we all talk to you so casually even though we probably know nothing about you?
Anywho, I think I am going to search for those two books and read them over my summer break. Oh, I don't mean to digress but while I'm on the topic of summer, don't you guys dare skip Minnesota again while on the Warped Tour...or else...or else...umm...Frou Frou. Ya! Frou Frou sucka! But I love philosophical conversations because if we can't understand one self and how the human mind and how human nature works, there is no point in living I think. I hate how there is so much focus and energy put into scientific advancements and political justifications when we barely know how to live our lives as human beings. Thats why I love it when you guys actually write about your lives and not whats going on musically because you guys really do open up philosophical doors for everyone. Stimulation is a great thing I think.
It sounds like you agree with what you learned from the book, and yes, I think it is a good message too, but there will always be a dichotomy of some sort in every aspect of life. Thats what makes life so confusing and complicated. I think the most important thing in life in balance. I think this world is so crazy you really can't go all out on one thing. Maybe you can go all out on love? Love is something everyone could use more of? But after you think about it, there can be arguments made for how that might be stupid. See, its all to confusing to me and I told you I can't articulate well. And really I don't know where I am going with all this, but I hope it makes a little sense to everyone. So yes, live the way you want to, follow what you believe in because really there is no wrong or right. Do what makes you happy.
How I wish I could just have a short conversation with you guys or people with minds like yours. The human "thought" is a very beautiful thing.
Sometimes I feel like I contradict myself and I feel like a huge hypocrite. Sometimes I feel like I am better than everyone and sometimes I feel like I know nothing. Sometimes I feel Aristotle and sometimes I feel like a big dummy...(Bush...pwah haha, thats mean). Sometimes I feel like I just shouldn't say anything because I will most likely change my opinion on it later and then someone will use my previous statement against me. Sometimes I feel loved, sometimes I feel like no one is there. Sometimes I wish I was naive, stupid, and ignorant because what you don't know really doesn't hurt you. And a lot of the times I don't know how to get my feelings on paper or can't speak what I'm feeling deep down inside because it is so far down in my soul. I use a lot of intuition and people without strong intuition will probably never feel what I feel. Human life and our society really is to confusing to put into words and to keep consistent, so sometimes I just fuck it (I really don't, I always try to be politically correct and respectful and its hard for me to change). I can't please everyone so do what I think and want and say what I want when I want. I brought up in a previous blog how I wanted to be more impulsive, and maybe deep down inside, I knew this would be therapeutic to me but didn't have an excuse to do it. I was actually not going to try it because its to risky, but with some help, I think maybe I can loosen up a little. On Tuesday night I went to go eat with Dean and it was the last time I need to stay at his place this semester. I was going to give him some money since he bought me dinner at a U of M cafeteria with his Ucard and I was going to give him some money since he let me stay at his place all semester but then I stopped and I didn't. Why? I'm not 100% sure. Maybe it is because I'm a greedy fuck. But I thought more and more about it and the excuse I came up with was that even if I give him this money, it won't make him like me more. Sure he will like me a little more for the next 30 minutes but when that appreciation wears off, its back to normal. Giving him that money doesn't mean he will be in my life 20 years from now. This is how I imagined my life with all of my friends. Like I always say, I am a loyal person and I always imagine being with the same group of people until the end but if they don't buy into my system, it doesn't matter. And let me tell you, most of them don't buy into this idea, all most all of them don't. So I thought about it, and I wanted to give him $20-$30 because I really appreciated and still appreciate what he did for me, but really he won't be in my life 20 years from now and I will just be down $30. I regret that I didn't give him the money, and I still might give it to him next time I see him, but thats how I felt. Today I go home with Barnett and I plan on giving him some extra cash for taking me to school and back home with him this year. And I am going to, but why is it easier for me to pay Joe and harder for me to pay Dean? Historically wouldn't Dean be my closer friend? Shouldn't I pay Dean first and Joe second? Is this why my close friends leave me when something better comes up? Anywho, I am just rambling and bitching now. I didn't mean for this blog to get so long but sometimes when I let my heart do the blogging and I don't really think about what is coming out it gets kind of long. I bet when my heart blogs evreything is kind of jumbled and makes little sense. Oh well, I really like it when I blog from the heart and not my brain and it has been a while. Alright alright, the end.
I wish I lived in New Jersey because this weekend they are hosting Bamboozle 2007. For those of you not familiar with Bomboozle, it is the emo, indie, screamo, post-hardcore, punk, etc, equivalent of "We Fest" (is that how you spell it? I was going to spell it Wii Fest, but after Wii came out everything is Wii to me). I think, I don't listen to much country. If anyone wants to road trip it right when I get home on Friday, lets do this damn thing. Oh, p.s, I don't have a car, tee hee. It'd be such an amazing way to kick off my summer break and such a good warm up for Warped Tour 2007 which is going to be amazing, no doubt about it. I hope everyone is able to experience Warped at least one time in their life. But back to Bamboozle, tons of amazing bands that I would love to see live. I am making it a life goal to go there once. Check this friggin list:
Saturday May 5th
PEP RALLY
10:00 - 10:40 DJ PRIME
10:40 - 10:45 PARADE OF NOTHINGS FEATURING POP POP PONTIFF & THE FAULTER BOYS
10:45 - 10:50 ELMO'S MEADOWLANDS ADDRESS
10:50 - 11:30 ANDREW WK
11:30 - 11:31 RIBBON CUTTING CEREMONY
11:31 - 12:00 DJ PRIME
MAIN STAGE A
11:45 - 12:05 SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING
12:25 - 12:55 PHIL BENSEN
1:25 - 1:55 BOYS LIKE GIRLS
2:25 - 2:55 SILVERSTEIN
3:25 - 3:55 BAYSIDE
4:25 - 4:55 CARTEL
5:25 - 5:55 SAY ANYTHING
6:30 - 7:05 NEW FOUND GLORY
7:40 - 8:20 HELLOGOODBYE
9:00 - 10:30 MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
MONSTER STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 END OF AN ERA
12:55 - 1:25 THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS
1:55 - 2:25 CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR
2:55 - 3:25 PARAMORE
3:55 - 4:25 THE SPILL CANVAS
4:55 - 5:25 THE STARTING LINE
5:55 - 6:30 MC HAMMER
7:05 - 7:40 SAVES THE DAY
8:20 - 9:00 MUSE
CARNIVALE STAGE
12:05- 12:25 SAY WHEN
12:45 - 1:15 THE FORECAST
1:45 - 2:15 THE PINK SPIDERS
2:45 - 3:15 VALENCIA
3:45 - 4:15 LYDIA
4:45 - 5:15 SECONDHAND SERENADE
5:45 - 6:15 THIS PROVIDENCE
6:45 - 7:15 GREAT AMERICAN FREEDOM MACHINE (Motion City Soundtrack)
7:55 - 8:25 THE ROCKET SUMMER
SAINTS & SINNERS STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 MUTINY
12:25 - 12:45 THE HIGH COURT
1:15 - 1:45 PERMANENT ME
2:15 - 2:45 MAYLENE & THE SONS OF DISASTER
3:15 - 3:45 MEN WOMEN & CHILDREN
4:15 - 4:45 HOUSTON CALLS
5:15 - 5:45 HIT THE LIGHTS
6:15 - 6:45 BEARFORT (Thursday)
7:15 - 7:25 ELMO'S BIG BAND
7:25 - 7:55 YESTERDAY'S 2MORROW (Van Stone)
8:25 - 9:00 LORDI
RIOT SQUAD STAGE
11:30 - 11:50 THE LOOK
12:10 - 12:30 AND THEN THERE WERE MACHINES
12:55 - 1:25 FORGIVE DURDEN
1:55 - 2:25 THE AKAS
2:55 - 3:25 LIMBECK
3:55 - 4:25 MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA
4:55 - 5:25 THE CRIBS
5:55 - 6:25 HOT ROD CIRCUIT
6:55 - 7:25 MONEEN
7:55 - 8:25 CAPTURED BY ROBOTS
MACBETH STAGE
11:50 - 12:10 VAMPIRE FOR HIRE
12:35 - 12:55 SKULL MOTION
1:25 - 1:55 PLAYRADIOPLAY
2:25 - 2:55 RONNIE DAY
3:25 - 3:55 MOROS EROS
4:25 - 4:55 MADINA LAKE
5:25 - 5:55 THE AUDITION
6:25 - 6:55 MEG & DIA
7:25 - 7:55 THE ALMOST
8:25 - 8:55 THE HUSH SOUND
BAMBOOZLE TV STUDIO
12:35 - 1:05 WE THE KINGS
1:20 - 1:50 HOLIDAY PARADE
2:05 - 2:35 ENVY ON THE COAST
3:00 - 3:30 THE LOCALS (The Matches)
3:50 - 4:20 THRICE
4:30 - 4:45 DAN BOULGER
5:00 - 5:30 BIKER WOMEN (The Sleeping)
5:50 - 6:20 FOREVER IN MOTION
6:30 - 7:00 NEW ATLANTIC
7:20 - 7:40 FAKE GIMMS
8:00 - 8:20 BETRAYAL
PASS THE MIC LEFT STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 ENDLESS ESCAPE
12:25 - 12:45 RENDER
1:05 - 1:30 THE SUNSTREAK
1:50 - 2:20 HIGH CLASS ELITE
2:45 - 3:10 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
3:50 - 4:25 WHOLE WHEAT BREAD FT ROB BASE & DJ EZ ROCK
4:55 - 5:10 BERT KREISCHER
5:30 - 5:45 MITCH FATEL
6:05 - 6:15 MIKE BOCCHETTI
6:15 - 6:30 DONNELL RAWLINGS
7:00 - 7:30 JUST SURRENDER
8:00 - 9:00 THE LIAM SHOW
PASS THE MIC RIGHT STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 THE IRONBOUND
12:45 - 1:05 GROUND TO MACHINE
1:30 - 1:50 CAPITOL RISK
2:20 - 2:45 SO THEY SAY
3:10 - 3:35 PATENT PENDING
3:35 - 3:50 NICK THUNE
4:25 - 4:55 THE CASKET SALESMEN
5:10 - 5:30 MAYBRIDGE
5:45 - 6:05 RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT
6:30 - 7:00 BETWEEN THE TREES
7:30 - 8:00 JEFFREE STAR
Sunday May 6th
MAIN STAGE A
12:05 - 12:45 BRAND NEW
1:15 - 1:45 JEDI MIND TRICKS
2:15 - 2:45 THE EARLY NOVEMBER
3:15 - 3:45 MAE
4:15 - 4:45 ARMOR FOR SLEEP
5:15 - 5:45 THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS
6:15 - 6:50 THRICE
7:25 - 8:05 TAKING BACK SUNDAY
8:50 - 10:15 LINKIN PARK
MONSTER STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 CORDOVA
12:45 - 1:15 YOUNG LOVE
1:45 - 2:15 RELIENT K
2:45 - 3:15 FROM FIRST TO LAST
3:45 - 4:15 CIRCA SURVIVE
4:45 - 5:15 KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
5:45 - 6:15 YELLOWCARD
6:50 - 7:25 JACKS MANNEQUIN
8:05 - 8:50 WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
CARNIVALE STAGE
11:45 - 12:05 RECKLESS SONS
12:25 - 12:50 THE SECRET HANDSHAKE
1:20 - 1:50 ANBERLIN
2:20 - 2:50 LYDIA
3:20 - 3:50 DAPHNE LOVES DERBY
4:20 - 4:50 ALL TIME LOW
5:20 - 5:50 THE SLEEPING
6:20 - 6:50 PLAIN WHITE T'S
7:20 - 7:50 VAN STONE
8:20 - 8:50 LORDI
SAINTS & SINNERS STAGE
12:05 - 12:25 FOUR STORIES
12:50 - 1:20 SAINT CAINE
1:50 - 2:20 DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS
2:50 - 3:20 HASTE THE DAY
3:50 - 4:20 THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
4:50 - 5:20 IT DIES TODAY
5:50 - 6:20 THE BLED
6:50 - 7:20 NORMA JEAN
7:50 - 8:20 AS I LAY DYING
RIOT SQUAD STAGE
11:35 - 12:00 BLESS THE FALL
12:25 - 12:50 THE OOHLAS
1:20 - 1:50 THE DEAR HUNTER
2:20 - 2:50 SCHOOLYARD HEROES
3:20 - 3:50 HALIFAX
4:20 - 4:50 STATE RADIO
5:20 - 5:50 RX BANDITS
6:20 - 6:50 XCANUCKX (Silverstein)
7:20 - 7:50 JULIETTE & THE LICKS
8:20 - 8:50 CAPTURED BY ROBOTS
MACBETH STAGE
12:00 - 12:25 NORA
12:50 - 1:20 SHERWOOD
1:50 - 2:20 THE MATCHES
2:50 - 3:20 FAIR TO MIDLAND
3:50 - 4:20 SCARY KIDS SCARING KIDS
4:50 - 5:20 ENVY ON THE COAST
5:50 - 6:20 THE DEATH OF... (Hawthorne Heights)
6:50 - 7:20 CATCH 22
7:50 - 8:20 THE JONAS BROTHERS
BAMBOOZLE TV STUDIO
12:15 - 12:35 PHIL BENSEN
12:40 - 1:05 SECONDHAND SERENADE
1:10 - 1:35 THE SPILL CANVAS
1:50 - 2:15 DANGER:RADIO
2:30 - 2:50 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
3:05 - 3:30 KYLE & NAT
3:35 - 4:00 RETARDOBOT (Madina Lake)
4:25 - 4:50 JACKS MANNEQUIN
5:05 - 5:35 TREATY OF PARIS
5:50 - 6:20 AMBER PACIFIC
6:35 - 7:05 QUIET DRIVE
7:20 - 7:50 THE GRADUATE
8:05 - 8:25 COMMAND RADIO
PASS THE MIC STAGE RIGHT
11:40 - 12:00 CONDITIONS
12:20 - 12:45 WE ARE THE FURY
1:10 - 1:35 DRIVE BY
1:55 - 2:20 DAVE MELILLO
2:40 - 3:00 POWERSPACE
3:15 - 3:45 REVOLUTION MOTHER
4:10 - 4:35 MONTY ARE I
4:50 - 5:15 MELEE
5:40 - 5:55 SHANE MAUSS
6:10 - 6:35 STATUS GREEN
7:05 - 7:25 MORE LIKE THE MOON
7:45 - 8:05 PERFUMA
8:25 - 8:55 ROBERT KELLY
PASS THE MIC STAGE LEFT
12:00 - 12:20 STEREO SKYLINE
12:45 - 1:10 CLARA LOFARO
1:35 - 1:55 FOUR LETTER LIE
2:20 - 2:40 THE MURDER & THE HARLOT
3:00 - 3:15 CHRIS KANIK
3:45 - 4:10 KENOTIA
4:35 - 4:50 PETE CORREALE
5:15 - 5:40 CAFFEINE
5:55 - 6:10 JOSH SPEAR
6:35 - 7:05 MIKE BIRBIGLIA
7:25 - 7:45 BLACKTOP MOURNING
8:05 - 8:25 COUNTERFIT PENNIES
If you are a rock fan, tell me you didn't pee pee your pants a little? Well actually don't, cause thats nasty. I wish I could fly right about now.
Lately, I've been thinking about making my blogs private because my blogs sometimes get kind of juicy because I like to think and blog about taboo topics. Yes they are taboo, but they are real life topics and I hate to sidestep them, but I don't need negativity from commenters. I really like hearing about from other people because more perspectives mean more knowledge, but if people can't respond with a respectful and open minded tone, then I just don't want to hear it. 90% of me blogging is so I can collect my thoughts and get them on paper (or digital paper?) so I can organize what I really think and so I can come back and look at them in the future. The 10% is so I can hear what people think, because again, being multicultured is very important I think. Being ignorant from what other people are thinking and closing your self off from other thoughts should be a crime punishable by death, or castration, either will do. So I will see how this works out and I will begin to experiment with closed blogs depending on things.
I have a problem and that problem is that I like to talk to much and I like to ask to many question about thoughts and values. Maybe this is why I get into trouble with so many of my blogs. This problem has only come up recently after I discovered my love for human thought. I wrote in my blog notes that I was going mention this and I was going to talk about how maybe I should shut the fuck up a little from now on. No one wants to hear me ramble about how I think life is inevitably confusing and no one wants to hear my unarticulated and non poetic thoughts. But then I read a blog and I told my self "screw people, they can kiss my ass," and if they don't want to hear my philosophy on life, well to bad. I'm going to force feed them until they puke. Here is the blog I read that changed my perspective:
Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. No one has a claim over your life and your opinions. On this tour a book had been given to me called: Uncommon Sense. Sort of the companion book of Common Sense, finishing off what Thomas Paine began. A very political, or should I say unpolitical book, so for those afraid of new ideas please don't venture off to begin this book. Anyway, aside from all the political "nonsense" if you will, which I found to be such a rude awakening and keen eye opener, refreshing, blah blah blah, near the end of the book I found an idea that I believe could or should appeal to all of you. The book began to get very personal, portraying a scenario that could accurately describe my own life, much to the delight of the author I'm sure. He began to say things like, "why do you think people turn to all these entertainments of movies, and music, food, woman (ugh!)?" I always thought engaging in these activities was a perfectly healthy thing to do until I read the next couple lines..."to escape!" The authors voice echoed re-percussively in my head. To escape from what? "To escape from BOREDOM! To escape from lack of purpose!" Curiously I read a bit further. Well everybody tries to answer the stupid-get you nowhere, unimportant, unnecessary question: what is the purpose of life? All right tough guy, try to defy every text book, every philosophical pamphlet in your little political opinion book. He wrote, "The purpose of life is to live FREE." Completely unprepared and unwilling to be moved I found myself stunned: to live free. To live how you want. Do what you want. LIve how you want to live. So now, we arrive back to the important topic here. The topic of tour. Yes the topic being discussed between Saves the Day, The Deer Hunter, Say Anything and us - Meg and Dia. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out here. Feel free to find my house and egg it. Find my car and empty out the air from my tires. Publicly denounce me. Whatever you want. Just don't you DARE touch Frou Frou, my stuffed cat. Anyway, here it comes: I don't find The Get Up Kids to be legendary. There, I said it! All the respect if you ever had any. Gone out the window. Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. Uh huh. You know that guy Chris Conelly, yeah, that's the one. He kind of sings and writes and is Saves the Day, the legend, the pioneer. And Max Bemis, yeah the wonder boy genius. Well, they all know. They all like The Get Up Kids. I'm pretty sure, The Get Up Kids wouldn't stick a Meg and Dia cd in for longer than 2 minutes. Perfect. Cool. They don't like it. I don't like it. You don't like it. If you don't like the Beatles that's fine. If you don't like purple. That's fine. If you don't like us you're going to Hell. If you don't like scrambled eggs cool. Granted some opinions are a bit more risky to state publicly than others. But that's how you grow. This is how you become your OWN individual, by judging and discerning your OWN opinions based on knowledge you YOURSELF have discovered. That's who you are. Don't fear it. Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live. Maybe, like in my case, an individual on the tour whom I respect in one of the above mentioned bands might come up to you and say, "Hey you know your OUTRAGEOUS comment about the Get Up Kids?" (here is where they look back and forth tentatively just to be sure no one is listening), "well, I kind of agree with you". Do what you want to do. Live how you want to live.
-Meg Frampton
Here is what I wrote in response to her blog:
Dearest Meg Frampton,
I loved reading this, I can relate it to a lot of recent events in my own life. Sorry if this comment turns out to be super long, I'm kind of bad at articulating my thoughts and feelings.
I write this comment like my questions and concerns are actually going to be answered, but you never know. I assume you guys are very busy and I'm not blaming you guys at all. And its not only you guys I want to hear from, I want to hear from anyone that has any input. Life is so confusing and the more presepctives I learn about, the better I feel.
And is it scary that I know your whole name even though we have never met? Is it scary that we all talk to you so casually even though we probably know nothing about you?
Anywho, I think I am going to search for those two books and read them over my summer break. Oh, I don't mean to digress but while I'm on the topic of summer, don't you guys dare skip Minnesota again while on the Warped Tour...or else...or else...umm...Frou Frou. Ya! Frou Frou sucka! But I love philosophical conversations because if we can't understand one self and how the human mind and how human nature works, there is no point in living I think. I hate how there is so much focus and energy put into scientific advancements and political justifications when we barely know how to live our lives as human beings. Thats why I love it when you guys actually write about your lives and not whats going on musically because you guys really do open up philosophical doors for everyone. Stimulation is a great thing I think.
It sounds like you agree with what you learned from the book, and yes, I think it is a good message too, but there will always be a dichotomy of some sort in every aspect of life. Thats what makes life so confusing and complicated. I think the most important thing in life in balance. I think this world is so crazy you really can't go all out on one thing. Maybe you can go all out on love? Love is something everyone could use more of? But after you think about it, there can be arguments made for how that might be stupid. See, its all to confusing to me and I told you I can't articulate well. And really I don't know where I am going with all this, but I hope it makes a little sense to everyone. So yes, live the way you want to, follow what you believe in because really there is no wrong or right. Do what makes you happy.
How I wish I could just have a short conversation with you guys or people with minds like yours. The human "thought" is a very beautiful thing.
Sometimes I feel like I contradict myself and I feel like a huge hypocrite. Sometimes I feel like I am better than everyone and sometimes I feel like I know nothing. Sometimes I feel Aristotle and sometimes I feel like a big dummy...(Bush...pwah haha, thats mean). Sometimes I feel like I just shouldn't say anything because I will most likely change my opinion on it later and then someone will use my previous statement against me. Sometimes I feel loved, sometimes I feel like no one is there. Sometimes I wish I was naive, stupid, and ignorant because what you don't know really doesn't hurt you. And a lot of the times I don't know how to get my feelings on paper or can't speak what I'm feeling deep down inside because it is so far down in my soul. I use a lot of intuition and people without strong intuition will probably never feel what I feel. Human life and our society really is to confusing to put into words and to keep consistent, so sometimes I just fuck it (I really don't, I always try to be politically correct and respectful and its hard for me to change). I can't please everyone so do what I think and want and say what I want when I want. I brought up in a previous blog how I wanted to be more impulsive, and maybe deep down inside, I knew this would be therapeutic to me but didn't have an excuse to do it. I was actually not going to try it because its to risky, but with some help, I think maybe I can loosen up a little. On Tuesday night I went to go eat with Dean and it was the last time I need to stay at his place this semester. I was going to give him some money since he bought me dinner at a U of M cafeteria with his Ucard and I was going to give him some money since he let me stay at his place all semester but then I stopped and I didn't. Why? I'm not 100% sure. Maybe it is because I'm a greedy fuck. But I thought more and more about it and the excuse I came up with was that even if I give him this money, it won't make him like me more. Sure he will like me a little more for the next 30 minutes but when that appreciation wears off, its back to normal. Giving him that money doesn't mean he will be in my life 20 years from now. This is how I imagined my life with all of my friends. Like I always say, I am a loyal person and I always imagine being with the same group of people until the end but if they don't buy into my system, it doesn't matter. And let me tell you, most of them don't buy into this idea, all most all of them don't. So I thought about it, and I wanted to give him $20-$30 because I really appreciated and still appreciate what he did for me, but really he won't be in my life 20 years from now and I will just be down $30. I regret that I didn't give him the money, and I still might give it to him next time I see him, but thats how I felt. Today I go home with Barnett and I plan on giving him some extra cash for taking me to school and back home with him this year. And I am going to, but why is it easier for me to pay Joe and harder for me to pay Dean? Historically wouldn't Dean be my closer friend? Shouldn't I pay Dean first and Joe second? Is this why my close friends leave me when something better comes up? Anywho, I am just rambling and bitching now. I didn't mean for this blog to get so long but sometimes when I let my heart do the blogging and I don't really think about what is coming out it gets kind of long. I bet when my heart blogs evreything is kind of jumbled and makes little sense. Oh well, I really like it when I blog from the heart and not my brain and it has been a while. Alright alright, the end.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Zombie Dream Chapter 13
Today is the big day. After what seems like a life time of work, we finally get to move into our new mansion and I can't wait to see the faces on the people. But this is just the beginning, after we all move in people get to decorate their rooms and I can't wait to see and feel all that excitement. Slowly while move in day approached, we moved peoples belongings from the hotel into their rooms for them so that now we only need to transfer the people over there. Last night we had our final practice and it seems like everyone is really nervous and excited. I get this feeling that maybe we should wait one more day before we do this but people keep telling me today is the day. I look out the window and the weather doesn't seem that nice either. Cloudy and slightly windy but nothing to bad. I'm probably just being paranoid. Everyone double checks everything and now that we have everything and everyone we all start moving out to the cars. I feel really empty because this place has been our home for a very long time, but we are going to a better place and thats is whats most important. I'm the last one out and I quickly run over to the car so we can get going. There is a lot of excitement in the car and I can feel it myself in the pit of my stomach. The car ride seems really quick and my car unloads first and I run up to the front of the line of cars. People start walking out of their cars and they form a line. After everyone gets out I signal to Mitch and Dawson's team to lead the line and everyone starts moving. There are a bunch of teams assigned to hover around and help people as we move. Everyone is very quiet and you can only head the sound of footsteps on the dirt. The line is longer then I thought. The pace is good and we should be there in a few minutes. I watch the line move and I see a bunch of faces I know and I see more faces that I don't know. Everyone looks at me a smiles as they walk by and I feel really guilty for not smiling back and guilty for not knowing some of them. I see my parents and Leah in the middle of the line and they wave but I ignore them. Behind my family are the rest of the families that were there from the start. They all wave but I pretend like I don't see them. I see Jim a few families behind and he gives me a head nod and I look at him to acknowledge his gesture. I look around Jim but I don't see Amanda and it worries me since I haven't seen Jim or Amanda for a long time. I hope Amanda is okay. We all keep walking and it is still very quiet and everyone is very concentrated. The walk is taking a lot longer that I had thought. I hear a bunch of leaves and branches crunching and I hear a thump like a body hitting the ground and I turn to see what is happening and I see a someone that has fallen to the ground. It didn't seem like we were being attacked so I don't run over to the area but I start to worry that people might panic and the line will stop. The line continues and I stand there to make sure nothing happens and everyone just walks around the fallen person. I feel kind of bad for the person but this is how we practiced it. I see Jon and Dean come from the front of the line to see what is going on but they kind of stop when they see I'm already there. After I see the line is still moving I look more carefully to see who the person on the ground is. The person looks very familiar but I can only see her back. When she turns around while grabbing her ankle I see that its Amanda and I look over to Jon and Dean hoping that they run over and help her. My heart picks up and I keep looking around hoping someone breaks the rules and helps her but everyone is disciplined and sticks to the plan. I close my eyes and I collect my thoughts and quickly I realize there is only one choice. I toss Jon my rifle and I sprint down the line so I can help her up. When I get close I see that she is crying but she is doing her best to not make any noise. I look at her ankle and it is bleeding so I take my coat off and I wipe the blood off. I look into her eyes and I feel so guilty for not coming to her aid right away. How scared she must have been knowing that she might be left behind. I set my coat over her shoulders and I gently help her up and guide her into my back. I feel everyone staring at me and I look away from everyone hoping I can avoid the shame. I walk by Jon and Dean and I look up at them expecting angry face but they flash me a smile and then they get back to work. I piggyback Amanda near the front of the line next to a level 2 team since I don't have a weapon on me. She has calmed down and I feel better about myself but I still feel a lot of guilt for not helping her right away and for not talking to her for so long. I want to ask her if she is okay but we are all trying to stay as quiet as possible. She whispers into my ear, "I like piggybacks," and rests her head on my shoulder. We arrive at the house and I look at peoples faces as they walk by. The priceless expressions on their faces make this all seem worth it. I watch some more people walk by and then I carry Amanda in so we can get her cleaned up. For a moment, I feel like everything is going to be okay.
(Much later: The move to our final fort. Cory attacks. Our group gets news press. Mitch outside. Couple more battles.)
(Much later: The move to our final fort. Cory attacks. Our group gets news press. Mitch outside. Couple more battles.)
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Zombie Dream Chapter 12
We are really close to finishing the new house and everyone is getting pretty excited to see it. I am planning out how we are going to get everyone to the site. I have this idea where we clear out a path on the other side of the big hill where people can walk. The walk will be a little bit longer but at least the terrain won't be so harsh. If we go through with this plan we need to practice and make sure no one messes up. One slip could mean disaster. We were on one of the news stations today. It was a Dawson interview and we all found his answers to be very funny since he gave these really political, scientific and bull shit professional answers. I found it funny but I wasn't able to physically laugh for some odd reason. I go and work out later and after we have a "Hood Killers" dinner but we also invite Tom's old team. They have made a new level 2 team and didn't want to be level 1 to show respect for Tom. Everyone is joking and the happy atmosphere makes me feel lighter but I just sit back and watch everyone goof around. I cut all the noise in the room off and I just look at everyone at the dinner table. Everyone has grown up so much but they still look and act young. Dick is maybe 6 feet tall and he looks like he could kick my ass now. Maybe he has been working out more then me. Maybe its time to take him out on more missions, he probably is ready. Jon is still Jon but has matured a lot and has kind of grown into a leadership role. Jon has been going out with the cute little blonde from way back for a long time. I wonder if things are getting serious between the two. I wonder if she is still a gold digging bitch or of she actually likes Jon now. Dean is still smaller then the rest of us but he is damn quick when out in action. He actually found him self a nice little girl friend. A small little Chinese girl who is super out going and nice. They almost seems like the opposite of Dean but they seem very happy together. She even manages to lift my spirits when ever I get the chance to talk to her. She almost managed to make me laugh the other day. Jon and Dean are always hanging out together just like when we left our old home in Plymouth and Grand Forks. Deans girl and I like to make fun of Jon and Dawson's girl since they are kind of shady. Dawson and Mitch get along a lot better and they have grown close to their new team members. Dawson is still going out with the same chick as well. She has put on a lot of weight but Dawson still brags about how beautiful she is and I guess I don't really know her that well so I can't judge. I don't watch the news with Dawson much anymore since I am in my room planning things out or at the build site. Mitch is still Mitch. He doesn't have anyone new in his life but he seems to be happy. I've been with these guys forever and they seem to be happy during such a tough time in the history of man. Thats good. After dinner I walk up to my room and I go to sleep.
I brought Dick on a couple of more missions and I also take him along to patrol the site with me. He very effective but I still don't like putting him out where there are a lot of creatures. He has quickly been promoted to a level 2 team. I send him on a few missions with his new team alone but I try not to do it to much. I've given Dawson and Mitch's team a job to protect Dick's group. When ever Dick's team goes on missions, Dawson and Mitch's team goes with them. Mitch hates it and thinks I am forcing him to babysit Dick. Dawson accepts it and follows my request. Dick hates it and tells me that they just get in the way. We haven't lost any people since Tom and that is a great achievement because it has been a long while. I haven't seen my Mom and Dad for a long time and I think I should visit them next time I get a chance. I don't know what I would say to them. I introduced my plan to get everyone into the new house and it sounds like people agree with it. We will start practicing with everyone soon since we will be moving in soon.
The dream house is basically done and now we just need to get everything planned out and our strategy practiced before we move out. We went out the other and got a bunch of things that people could decorate their rooms with. Jon girlfriend was a little to excited. I wouldn't be surprised if Barbie wet her damn pants. We have been practicing how we are going to get everyone to the building a lot and it seems like people understand how this is going to work out. I showed them a bunch of pictures of the area so they could get an idea of what it might be like. I keep telling everyone that we can't afford any mistakes. I'm worried that my words are to harsh and that it scares people, but I just want everyone to be aware and ready. We made this rule where if someone trips or falls out of formation or something happens to them that everyone should keep moving because it would slow the whole line down if they stopped to help them. This made some people worried but Jon tells them they have nothing to worry about. Jon tells them that if someone trips that a level 1 or level 2 fighter will be able to help them and that everyone else should keep moving. Level 1 and 2 fighters will be roaming around and setting up a perimeter around the line of moving people. I look at Jon like "who the hell made all these ideas up?" but he keeps talking and I let him because it seems like it makes people feel better. I just hope they don't get careless.
We are on this mission with a few other teams to get some equipment to clear a clean path for people to walk on when we move into our new house in the next few days. It is a night mission and the place looks like hell but I guess what we need is in this one building so we are out to get it. Dick and his team are set up in different buildings to lend us support. My team moves into position and we get ready to run across this long street to get to the building. I look up at Dick and he is set up with his sniper rifle and I see Mitch and Dawson's team up there with him with rifles also ready to support us. We see some monsters roaming around in the street and Dean tosses a grenade at them to clear a path. When the explosion goes off we take off and shoot down what ever we can. I hear the support teams up in the buildings shooting down distant monsters while we handle to immediate threats. There are a bunch of things in the way and we split up to avoid them but quickly form into our defensive position. The three of us stand back to back and move together then split apart to get around things quick. I see this huge monster and I fire at him but my pistols seem to have no affect on him so our triangle rotates and now Jon faces the ogre and gives him a few blasts with his shotgun. It goes down a lot quicker. There are a bunch of crashed cars in the way and we slide over the hoods to get by them quicker. Dean slides over a hood and right before he gets to the other side a creature jumps out and quickly Dean stabs it in the head. Jon trips and I see a monster about to jump on him and I turn to help him but a creature jumps in front of my way and I shoot it to clear a path. As the monster I shoot drops the creature that was about to jump on Jon drops. I look around and wonder what happened to it then I look up at Dick and he gives us a thumbs up. We move in and out of the building with what we need and our way back to the car is a lot smoother. Looks like tomorrow we move into our new home.
I brought Dick on a couple of more missions and I also take him along to patrol the site with me. He very effective but I still don't like putting him out where there are a lot of creatures. He has quickly been promoted to a level 2 team. I send him on a few missions with his new team alone but I try not to do it to much. I've given Dawson and Mitch's team a job to protect Dick's group. When ever Dick's team goes on missions, Dawson and Mitch's team goes with them. Mitch hates it and thinks I am forcing him to babysit Dick. Dawson accepts it and follows my request. Dick hates it and tells me that they just get in the way. We haven't lost any people since Tom and that is a great achievement because it has been a long while. I haven't seen my Mom and Dad for a long time and I think I should visit them next time I get a chance. I don't know what I would say to them. I introduced my plan to get everyone into the new house and it sounds like people agree with it. We will start practicing with everyone soon since we will be moving in soon.
The dream house is basically done and now we just need to get everything planned out and our strategy practiced before we move out. We went out the other and got a bunch of things that people could decorate their rooms with. Jon girlfriend was a little to excited. I wouldn't be surprised if Barbie wet her damn pants. We have been practicing how we are going to get everyone to the building a lot and it seems like people understand how this is going to work out. I showed them a bunch of pictures of the area so they could get an idea of what it might be like. I keep telling everyone that we can't afford any mistakes. I'm worried that my words are to harsh and that it scares people, but I just want everyone to be aware and ready. We made this rule where if someone trips or falls out of formation or something happens to them that everyone should keep moving because it would slow the whole line down if they stopped to help them. This made some people worried but Jon tells them they have nothing to worry about. Jon tells them that if someone trips that a level 1 or level 2 fighter will be able to help them and that everyone else should keep moving. Level 1 and 2 fighters will be roaming around and setting up a perimeter around the line of moving people. I look at Jon like "who the hell made all these ideas up?" but he keeps talking and I let him because it seems like it makes people feel better. I just hope they don't get careless.
We are on this mission with a few other teams to get some equipment to clear a clean path for people to walk on when we move into our new house in the next few days. It is a night mission and the place looks like hell but I guess what we need is in this one building so we are out to get it. Dick and his team are set up in different buildings to lend us support. My team moves into position and we get ready to run across this long street to get to the building. I look up at Dick and he is set up with his sniper rifle and I see Mitch and Dawson's team up there with him with rifles also ready to support us. We see some monsters roaming around in the street and Dean tosses a grenade at them to clear a path. When the explosion goes off we take off and shoot down what ever we can. I hear the support teams up in the buildings shooting down distant monsters while we handle to immediate threats. There are a bunch of things in the way and we split up to avoid them but quickly form into our defensive position. The three of us stand back to back and move together then split apart to get around things quick. I see this huge monster and I fire at him but my pistols seem to have no affect on him so our triangle rotates and now Jon faces the ogre and gives him a few blasts with his shotgun. It goes down a lot quicker. There are a bunch of crashed cars in the way and we slide over the hoods to get by them quicker. Dean slides over a hood and right before he gets to the other side a creature jumps out and quickly Dean stabs it in the head. Jon trips and I see a monster about to jump on him and I turn to help him but a creature jumps in front of my way and I shoot it to clear a path. As the monster I shoot drops the creature that was about to jump on Jon drops. I look around and wonder what happened to it then I look up at Dick and he gives us a thumbs up. We move in and out of the building with what we need and our way back to the car is a lot smoother. Looks like tomorrow we move into our new home.
Sye Green
Summer is just around the corner and I am itching for it to come. I am trying to stay focused so I can do well on my finals but my mind keeps wandering like I have A.D.D, haha please. But the other day I forgot to do my Korean homework and now I have to hand it in late. I'm super pumped for summer but other than Warped Tour I have no major plans. I'll need to find a job thats for sure but it is going to be tough since I don't have a car. It should still be nice to rest my mind and sit around and do nothing. A little change is needed right now. With my spare time I plan to write a lot of music, go to the library and read a bunch of books, and when ever I can make a couple of videos. I know fall semester will fall upon me in a blink of an eye so I don't want to over plan. Maybe if things work out, I can fit a road trip or something in there too. 2 more weeks until I get to relax and do what ever the hell I want.
If you still haven't, go check out the brand new The Used music video. It is fricken sweet! I wish they were coming to Minnesota for Warped Tour but they aren't. I once heard a that The Used played over 600 shows in 2 years. Now I'm no math major but if I did my elementary arithmetic right, thats pretty friggin amazing. They were really sweet when I saw them live but I had only gotten into them at the time and couldn't rock out with them. They are really loud.
My weekend was pretty eventful.
Friday started out the same then Jon picked me up and we went to the park to play some basketball. When we got there the old dudes crew were already there playing. I say old but don't I don't mean a bunch of grand daddies running around, they were just significantly older then us, but they did have a guy from Maple Grove class of 2001. One of their guys left early so I got to hop in before the rest of my crew played but after we played a couple of games and more of their guys cleared out we played my crew vs. their crew. We lost both games and it pissed me the fuck off because we shouldn't have lost and they were little shit talkers so that made me want to bring it to them even more. Sometimes I feel the "Kevin Garnett-syndrome" or "Kobe-syndrome" but I also put a lot of the blame on myself. I just wish sometimes my teammates were as passionate as I am. I wish there was more of a team attitude where if one guy makes fun of one person on our team, he is making fun of our whole team. That type of attitude is hard to find in the suburbs and it bothers me that when I play basketball and it is a bunch of individuals running around and not a team. Anywho, I know next time I play those old fucks I'm bringing my bows to chin mentality. I will not lose another fucking game to those fucks. And before we do I will beg my teammates to play their heart outs and think team and to do it for me. It would mean so much to me if I could shut those old fucks up. I got really ticked off when I called a foul and the guys that fouled me were calling my judgment soft when I've been getting hit my their old elbows all day without calling anything. I'll show them what physical basketball means next time I play them. I'll stop here because I feel my blood pressure rising thinking about it. After I walked around to cool off my crew played a few more games. After we got cleaned up we hopped over to Taco Bell and got us some tacos. Vince joined us and it was the first time I saw him since March 9th. Not that I obsess over him and I remember dates, but thats when we saw 300. After Taco Bell we went to Jon's and played some Melee. I miss playing that game for hours but it just seems like people aren't motivated to play that game anymore and its a damn shame. Hopefully this summer people will want to play it again, I like busting out the whooping stick.
After a very very long day at church on Saturday we went to the thrift store. We didn't find a lot of things but Andy scored a couple of articles. He got this really sweet girl belt that I would have gotten if I could fit it. I really wish I wasn't so fucking fat so I could buy some girl clothes cause they obviously have more selection then men do. After we sat around at Jon's house and waited for Peter to come over since we gave him a role in our movie but after it passed the deadline he gave us we went to go film without him. We filmed Gay'Mon 2: Gay'me On and it might turn out to be the best thing we ever made. Hopefully I can edit that soon. After filming we went over to Andy's house and had a fire and ate some burgers. We sat around and talked about a bunch of things and then Natalie's friends came over so we played cops and robbers, our crew vs. their crew. It was the first time we played night games in over 3 years and it was a lot of fun. We joked around about the time I snapped on Brian May when we played capture the flag. We caught the other crew really fast and when we were the robbers we won that. No thanks to me because I got caught right off the bat. I hid under a pine tree and after my arm got all theses rashes and swelled up. Do pine needles have like chemicals in them? Anywho, horrible idea. After we sat around the fire for a bit more and chatted the night away. When people took off we moved over to Jon's since we planned to sleep over there. We watched the raw Gay'mon footage and laughed our asses off. Then we popped in a movie I had for like 2 years but never watched called Hatchetman. I only caught a little bit of the movie but it was just ridiculous. A really good shitty movie. It wasn't enough to keep me awake though since all I saw were a bunch of strippers dancing, but I guess the plot thickens later. The plan was to hit up Perkins late night but I was to tired so only the others went.
The first half of Sunday was dedicated to computer work. My parents and I went out and did some computer shopping and we were going to drop my broken laptop off at the tech center of CompUSA but it was closed since they are going out of business. After I got home I sat around and watched some NBA playoffs. Steve Nash is soooo icky. I remember now how beautiful basketball can be when it is played by smart human beings and not by a bunch of inner city thugs. After the boys came over and we played some Fusion Frenzy. Then I went to Dean's to sleep over where I sat on the computer and did a bunch of HUB shopping since it will be gone during the summer. I tried to get a lot of sleep that night but Dean's roommate kept trying to wake me up to the Unsolved Mysteries theme and it was very very annoying. Look, if it doesn't work the first 8 times, stop, there is no need for a 9th and a 10th.
Will from my U.S history class is bugging me again. Everyday for the past 2-3 weeks he has asked me if I started my last paper and everyday I give him the same answer. Yes. It started out with, "yes, but its not good," and slowly I shortened it so he could remember it better. "Yes, it sucks," "Yes, its bad," Yes, bad," "Yes." Still the first thing he does when he sees me is ask me if I started my last paper. Why are big brute masculine men so dumb?
Here is something I've been wondering and something I kind of brought up at the camp fire on Saturday. Why am I and some of my other friends so bad with girls? Its not like I care all that much, honestly, but it bothers me that there is so much pressure when it comes to girls and it bothers me that I suck when it comes with girls. Only with girls I find attractive but still. Here is the story I shared with the group. Last week I saw this pretty hot lass reading in the corner of this building. So I walk over there and act like I actually have business over there and I ask her, "Is this Blegan Hall?" and she says, "yes" and I said "Thank you," and that was it. Really smooth right? I think so to.
Here is something I've been kind of wondering, what if Satan is really our savior and god is a actually the evil one? And before anyone gets angry at the question, let me ask you why you think its wrong? Because the bible said so? Well think about this, say in our last presidential election only Bush got to speak and Kerry wasn't allowed to say anything. Who do you think wins? Bush, duh. Well can't this be the same thing? God has a bible and we know what his argument is, but I never heard Satan's side, what if he is the one that is looking out for our best interest? I'm not saying I am going to run around praising the devil and I'm not asking people to do it either. I'm just saying, American people are not open minded and they are so quick to judge things off of the first thing they hear and it bothers me. So if anyone has the devils bible, please let me know because I want to hear both sides before I make my decision. Of course the book is going to be written by a Christian man and is going to be bias. Thank you all you stubborn fucks.
While I'm on the topic of religion, I was thinking, if I am agnostic does that mean I am forever ignorant? And not even just about religion, if you are to open minded does that just make you ignorant? I hope not because I try to stay as open minded as I can.
A couple of weeks ago in Jon's basement after we watched Donnie Darko Jon told me that his parents regret not raising Jon with a religion. I think that is a good thing. Now Jon's religious views are uninfluenced and he is like an embryo ready to soak in what he wants. He can choose his own path as long as he stays open minded. I thought about this because this is how I am politically. I never really cared about politics but as I get into philosophy and sociology I am learning more about politics. Politics can teach us a bunch of great lessons about life. I knew my values and they weren't made by politics and but rather life and it is cool to see where my values fall politically. I am finding that I am more and more liberal as I am learning more and more about politics. In my U.S history class we are in the 80's and we are learning about the conservative movement with Reagen and Bush senior and I just keep asking myself how can people think like this? They say women who protest and gay men are criminals? why!? There were a bunch of other things that came up that I don't agree with, and I want to know, what makes a conservative think like this? Like I say, I am open minded and I know my culture and I want to learn about right wing culture. The better you understand another culture, the better you understand yours. So please, enlighten me.
If you still haven't, go check out the brand new The Used music video. It is fricken sweet! I wish they were coming to Minnesota for Warped Tour but they aren't. I once heard a that The Used played over 600 shows in 2 years. Now I'm no math major but if I did my elementary arithmetic right, thats pretty friggin amazing. They were really sweet when I saw them live but I had only gotten into them at the time and couldn't rock out with them. They are really loud.
My weekend was pretty eventful.
Friday started out the same then Jon picked me up and we went to the park to play some basketball. When we got there the old dudes crew were already there playing. I say old but don't I don't mean a bunch of grand daddies running around, they were just significantly older then us, but they did have a guy from Maple Grove class of 2001. One of their guys left early so I got to hop in before the rest of my crew played but after we played a couple of games and more of their guys cleared out we played my crew vs. their crew. We lost both games and it pissed me the fuck off because we shouldn't have lost and they were little shit talkers so that made me want to bring it to them even more. Sometimes I feel the "Kevin Garnett-syndrome" or "Kobe-syndrome" but I also put a lot of the blame on myself. I just wish sometimes my teammates were as passionate as I am. I wish there was more of a team attitude where if one guy makes fun of one person on our team, he is making fun of our whole team. That type of attitude is hard to find in the suburbs and it bothers me that when I play basketball and it is a bunch of individuals running around and not a team. Anywho, I know next time I play those old fucks I'm bringing my bows to chin mentality. I will not lose another fucking game to those fucks. And before we do I will beg my teammates to play their heart outs and think team and to do it for me. It would mean so much to me if I could shut those old fucks up. I got really ticked off when I called a foul and the guys that fouled me were calling my judgment soft when I've been getting hit my their old elbows all day without calling anything. I'll show them what physical basketball means next time I play them. I'll stop here because I feel my blood pressure rising thinking about it. After I walked around to cool off my crew played a few more games. After we got cleaned up we hopped over to Taco Bell and got us some tacos. Vince joined us and it was the first time I saw him since March 9th. Not that I obsess over him and I remember dates, but thats when we saw 300. After Taco Bell we went to Jon's and played some Melee. I miss playing that game for hours but it just seems like people aren't motivated to play that game anymore and its a damn shame. Hopefully this summer people will want to play it again, I like busting out the whooping stick.
After a very very long day at church on Saturday we went to the thrift store. We didn't find a lot of things but Andy scored a couple of articles. He got this really sweet girl belt that I would have gotten if I could fit it. I really wish I wasn't so fucking fat so I could buy some girl clothes cause they obviously have more selection then men do. After we sat around at Jon's house and waited for Peter to come over since we gave him a role in our movie but after it passed the deadline he gave us we went to go film without him. We filmed Gay'Mon 2: Gay'me On and it might turn out to be the best thing we ever made. Hopefully I can edit that soon. After filming we went over to Andy's house and had a fire and ate some burgers. We sat around and talked about a bunch of things and then Natalie's friends came over so we played cops and robbers, our crew vs. their crew. It was the first time we played night games in over 3 years and it was a lot of fun. We joked around about the time I snapped on Brian May when we played capture the flag. We caught the other crew really fast and when we were the robbers we won that. No thanks to me because I got caught right off the bat. I hid under a pine tree and after my arm got all theses rashes and swelled up. Do pine needles have like chemicals in them? Anywho, horrible idea. After we sat around the fire for a bit more and chatted the night away. When people took off we moved over to Jon's since we planned to sleep over there. We watched the raw Gay'mon footage and laughed our asses off. Then we popped in a movie I had for like 2 years but never watched called Hatchetman. I only caught a little bit of the movie but it was just ridiculous. A really good shitty movie. It wasn't enough to keep me awake though since all I saw were a bunch of strippers dancing, but I guess the plot thickens later. The plan was to hit up Perkins late night but I was to tired so only the others went.
The first half of Sunday was dedicated to computer work. My parents and I went out and did some computer shopping and we were going to drop my broken laptop off at the tech center of CompUSA but it was closed since they are going out of business. After I got home I sat around and watched some NBA playoffs. Steve Nash is soooo icky. I remember now how beautiful basketball can be when it is played by smart human beings and not by a bunch of inner city thugs. After the boys came over and we played some Fusion Frenzy. Then I went to Dean's to sleep over where I sat on the computer and did a bunch of HUB shopping since it will be gone during the summer. I tried to get a lot of sleep that night but Dean's roommate kept trying to wake me up to the Unsolved Mysteries theme and it was very very annoying. Look, if it doesn't work the first 8 times, stop, there is no need for a 9th and a 10th.
Will from my U.S history class is bugging me again. Everyday for the past 2-3 weeks he has asked me if I started my last paper and everyday I give him the same answer. Yes. It started out with, "yes, but its not good," and slowly I shortened it so he could remember it better. "Yes, it sucks," "Yes, its bad," Yes, bad," "Yes." Still the first thing he does when he sees me is ask me if I started my last paper. Why are big brute masculine men so dumb?
Here is something I've been wondering and something I kind of brought up at the camp fire on Saturday. Why am I and some of my other friends so bad with girls? Its not like I care all that much, honestly, but it bothers me that there is so much pressure when it comes to girls and it bothers me that I suck when it comes with girls. Only with girls I find attractive but still. Here is the story I shared with the group. Last week I saw this pretty hot lass reading in the corner of this building. So I walk over there and act like I actually have business over there and I ask her, "Is this Blegan Hall?" and she says, "yes" and I said "Thank you," and that was it. Really smooth right? I think so to.
Here is something I've been kind of wondering, what if Satan is really our savior and god is a actually the evil one? And before anyone gets angry at the question, let me ask you why you think its wrong? Because the bible said so? Well think about this, say in our last presidential election only Bush got to speak and Kerry wasn't allowed to say anything. Who do you think wins? Bush, duh. Well can't this be the same thing? God has a bible and we know what his argument is, but I never heard Satan's side, what if he is the one that is looking out for our best interest? I'm not saying I am going to run around praising the devil and I'm not asking people to do it either. I'm just saying, American people are not open minded and they are so quick to judge things off of the first thing they hear and it bothers me. So if anyone has the devils bible, please let me know because I want to hear both sides before I make my decision. Of course the book is going to be written by a Christian man and is going to be bias. Thank you all you stubborn fucks.
While I'm on the topic of religion, I was thinking, if I am agnostic does that mean I am forever ignorant? And not even just about religion, if you are to open minded does that just make you ignorant? I hope not because I try to stay as open minded as I can.
A couple of weeks ago in Jon's basement after we watched Donnie Darko Jon told me that his parents regret not raising Jon with a religion. I think that is a good thing. Now Jon's religious views are uninfluenced and he is like an embryo ready to soak in what he wants. He can choose his own path as long as he stays open minded. I thought about this because this is how I am politically. I never really cared about politics but as I get into philosophy and sociology I am learning more about politics. Politics can teach us a bunch of great lessons about life. I knew my values and they weren't made by politics and but rather life and it is cool to see where my values fall politically. I am finding that I am more and more liberal as I am learning more and more about politics. In my U.S history class we are in the 80's and we are learning about the conservative movement with Reagen and Bush senior and I just keep asking myself how can people think like this? They say women who protest and gay men are criminals? why!? There were a bunch of other things that came up that I don't agree with, and I want to know, what makes a conservative think like this? Like I say, I am open minded and I know my culture and I want to learn about right wing culture. The better you understand another culture, the better you understand yours. So please, enlighten me.
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