Lets Call It A Night

It feels like I've been doing homework forever but really I haven't done anything. I've just had this giant political parties course packet in my lap all day but every time I try to read it I get distracted. It is time to be honest with myself, no more homework except for the things that are due tomorrow because today just ain't my day. I'm going to take a little break from homework and blog then I'll probably go work out and then wrap up some loose ends up before bed. Lately it has felt like days are made up of 10 hours. Everything just moves so quickly now. I wish I had time to go outside and enjoy the last few weeks of pleasant outdoors weather and enjoy the suns charity on my skin but with all this school work I've been trapped in my apartment. Plus, the U of M campus is sometimes just to crowded and loud to walk around but at the same time I love how alive it is. Just depends on my mood I guess. Back home when ever I wanted to be outside I would just text Jon and we would find an outdoor activity. That is a luxury I no longer have and something I probably won't experience for quite some time. The thought just makes my heart sink deep. Time and happiness are such valuable qualities we all take for granted. I was cleaning my bathroom after class today and I was having one of those conversations with myself and I thought about the phrase, "time is money" and I thought to myself would it make sense if we said "money is time?" I don't think it makes sense when you flip it around. I think we are so quick to trade in our time for a couple extra bucks, but I would any day trade money in for time. If it were possible, I would like to exchange some money right now to rewind the clock back to when it was summer. When my cell phone would wake me up around 10 just to be snoozed four times. When I would walk out of my room and limp to the bathroom to the sound of my little brother playing Maple Story. When I would make brunch for my little brother and myself while I wait for Jon to get off of work. When I could see my parents when ever I wanted to. When Jon lived down the street and we would struggle to find things to do but we managed to amuse each other every day. That is what my happiness is made up of. I frequently take little 5 minute reading breaks when doing my homework where I just let my mind rest, but this whole week I end up thinking about summer when taking those breaks. All sorts of pains set in when I realize it is almost going to be an entire year until all my wishes will be lived. I try not to think about it since all I'm left with after my break is a huge knot on my throat. I think I feel helpless knowing that I can't make my brother's, my parent's and my friend's days better when I'm not around them. At the same time, I know I shouldn't worry so much because my brother isn't a baby anymore, he is a high school student. My parents are probably the most gifted people I know; I need their protection more then they need mine, duh! I am lucky to have some friends around me and I guess I miss the ability to just walk down the street to see Jon when ever I want. I just can't help but feel lonely.

Ever since we moved into our apartment, Dean and I have been down to the little workout room every night, except for last Saturday when we had company. Well, I've been down there every night but a couple of nights shouldn't count because I got down there late and I had homework left over so I only stayed for like 30 minutes. I am hoping to work off this baby fat. It is convenient that we can just walk down a flight of stairs and get our work out on but it feels so time consuming with school. They have these cameras set up in the community rooms here at Melrose so we can just turn our TVs to a channel to see how busy the rooms are and I just checked the weight room and now would be the perfect time to go down and I'd rather start earlier rather then late so I can be down there a little longer. Plus, I have some left over homework and I start early tomorrow. So more blogging tomorrow.