Her

I need to take a homework break so I decided to blog quickly. I can't be here to long since I have a quiz tomorrow and I still haven't read one of the chapters. I plan on skimming the chapter quickly and hope I pick up the key terms. Not only do I need a homework break, but I need to blog because my soul really needs it. Ever since school started my heart has had this ache and I just can't shake it. I have no idea what is bothering me, but I just get sad and lonely so quickly so I am using this blog as a way to let my heart speak and vent a little.

My blogging hasn't been as regular as I imagined and this is because I switched my class schedule around a little. Last year I got to blog regularly because I had so many breaks between classes and so much down time waiting to go home with Joe, and I thought I could use the breaks between classes this year to get my blogging back on track. The problem with this is, I no longer have any breaks between my classes. I barely have enough time to make the journey across the Washington bridge to get from class to class. Originally I had hour breaks between 3 of my classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but a course change closed those gaps. I start at 9 am on M,W,F and end at 12. I start at 10 on Tuesdays and Thursdays and end 12, pretty solid eh? Anyway, those class gaps gave me a perfect excuse to blog a bunch but now I no longer have that luxury. It is harder for me to blog when I'm home because I have to clean after the three other dudes and I could just be doing homework. Regardless, I plan blogging at least once a week but hopefully more. I can't complain though, the class set-up is real convenient and class has been going smooth so far. I'm a little behind, but really when aren't we behind with school work.

A couple of topics before I get back to learning about journalism ethics and morals. On top of my random heart-aches, which don't feel like physical heart-aches so don't think I'm having heart attacks, I've been stressing out a little too. A lot is changing not only for me but the other dudes I live with as well. The thing is I've learned I'm sort of this control freak and I feel out of sync when things don't have a certain flow or pulse to it. I'm sure the other dudes are adjusting as well, but they seem so much more laid back then me and I get this feeling that I am getting on their nerves a little with all my direction and subtle criticism. I read a Max Bemis (Say Anything) interview towards the end of my summer vacation and he explained the difficulties about being the leader figure and a control freak and it made total sense to me. He explained that when you have these qualities, you will often be the hated one but you have to accept that and look to strike a balance between philanthropist and disciplinarian. I am trying to find that balance in my new setting but I fear that it might take a little while and I hope things don't crumble before then. I think I need to draw lessons from my experiences as a friend to help me adjust to this new lifestyle. Looking back at my career as a member of "The Hood," I think I did a good job balancing things. Some might say I was unfair, and they might be right, but I did what I believed in and I think things turned out better rather than worse when you look at the over all production. Even just this past summer my logic was challenged by a friend, and I had to step back and re-evaluate my reasoning because I often doubt my self and I try to view my actions in the third person in hopes to keep things fair. I've come to the conclusion that I can't please everyone, but I think I live a fair enough life where I don't obstruct other peoples way of living. In the case of my apartment, I think slowly we will all begin to learn each other preferences and we will look out for each others wants and needs a little more. We will see.

Anywho, I need to go do some more reading so more blogging tomorrow.