Wednesday, December 30, 2015
I'm Lost
In 2007, I wrote over 200 entries in my blog.
I doubt most entries were profound or anything worth reading, but I remember writing whatever was on my mind because I found it therapeutic. I was going through a major identity crisis, and I remember waking up feeling afraid and depressed everyday. I somehow slowly drifted away from writing my thoughts out. I do not know what the catalyst was that created that change, but a shift happened.
I feel like I've been carrying around a heaviness lately. I don't think it's one element that is creating this feeling, but rather a collection of stressors. I've been cramming for the GRE exam and preparing my application for Humphrey School of Public Affairs. Both those items probably would make any able and normal person feel at least a little anxiety.
On top of that, I feel as though my discomfort is compounded as I still try to compartmentalize the concept of death. It's been over a month since Mitchell died and his funeral. However, I still catch myself falling into these stupors where I am swimming on my own thoughts. I've had trouble falling asleep a couple of nights this week. I'm low on energy, although the lack of sleep might have something to do with that. On Sunday, I almost texted Mitch to ask him if he wanted to watch the Minnesota Vikings game together. The nihilist in me tells me to let go of it. The teenager in me wants to scream and cry. The adult in me whispers to be strong and patient. Reality tells me I'm really confused. I've never dealt with uncertainty well, although I've been surrounded by it most of my life.
Maybe writing will help. It's worth a shot. Just ramble on this vast digital canvas.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
My Friend Mitch
-Eulogy-
I met Mitch when I moved from Minneapolis to Plymouth to attend Maple Grove Junior High. I had no friends at this new school, and I was a part of a completely different environment. My family moved from a mostly inner-city setting to a predominately middle-class and Caucasian community. To put it simply, I stuck out at school. How fortunate I was to randomly sit next to Mitch during lunch. I thought I was going to sit all alone and keep to myself, but since day 1, Mitch was my brother and protected me. He didn't have to defend me every time I was reminded I was an outsider, but he did, because that's the kind of person he was.
Our friendship would continue to blossom. Mitch fell in love with my neighborhood friends and he would soon show them the same level of generosity and loyalty he did to me. My neighborhood friends and I would gather every day after school, but Mitch lived 5 mile away. Which might not seem like a lot, but to a middle schooler without a car and many options, it certainly is a distance not easily covered. Mitch would ride his bike over every day after school to make sure he saw us. I would let him know that he didn't need to make that journey on days it was 100 degrees and humid, or 10 below zero and snowy, but no barrier was too great for Mitch.
Mitch would constantly let us know how much he loved us. From the first time he invited us over to his mom's house so we could have our very first eating contest, to anytime someone fell ill or injured them self, and to the countless bonfire we had. Every time Mitch and I had one of our deep conversations, we would always end it with: "I can't wait until we're all 50, and we are having these same conversations looking back at all the good times we had". My brother, Mitch, we are looking back at all the love you shared, and how happy you made us. And we promise you, that when we're all 50 and looking back at our lives, that you will be there.
The World Is A Confusing Place
I comment on everything, and I feel like I have over saturated feeds many of times, so I kept silent about France. The World Wide Web attempted to cover everything when it came to commentary, even though there weren't and still aren't any words that could describe how awful yesterday's events were. I stayed up hitting refresh as bits of information came into focus from the chaos. Things became darker and darker with each update.
When darkness is cast onto the world, my mind also seems to go down a dark path. My nihilistic side emerges, and to cope I tell myself that we are but microscopic dots in a vast cosmic arena. That idea helps me come to terms with darkness because it's true. The universe does not give a damn about us.
However, I took a totally different approach today. I visited The Humphrey School of Public Affairs at the University of Minnesota for an informational seminar. To be around like minded people who are deeply concerned and motivated to better the world was extremely comforting. People who have dedicated their lives to better the public, and to nurture higher education.
I host a free event once a year for Koreans living in Minnesota. I lucked out because that event was planned for today. I found solace in focusing my energy, time, and resources into making other people feel comfortable and smile. Every one thanked me endlessly when the event ended, but I made sure that it was me that thanked them before they left. They showed me that we can manifest happiness even in tough times. They showed me that loving bonds can be formed with strangers. The universe might not give a damn how we are as we float on this giant rock in the middle of nowhere, but I give a damn. I love you, and that's why it hurts when tragedy strikes.
However, I took a totally different approach today. I visited The Humphrey School of Public Affairs at the University of Minnesota for an informational seminar. To be around like minded people who are deeply concerned and motivated to better the world was extremely comforting. People who have dedicated their lives to better the public, and to nurture higher education.
I host a free event once a year for Koreans living in Minnesota. I lucked out because that event was planned for today. I found solace in focusing my energy, time, and resources into making other people feel comfortable and smile. Every one thanked me endlessly when the event ended, but I made sure that it was me that thanked them before they left. They showed me that we can manifest happiness even in tough times. They showed me that loving bonds can be formed with strangers. The universe might not give a damn how we are as we float on this giant rock in the middle of nowhere, but I give a damn. I love you, and that's why it hurts when tragedy strikes.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Zombie Pub Crawl | Minneapolis | 2015-Oct-17th
Another weekend, and another great time. Last week I attended the CHVRCHES show and had a night out with some buddies (READ MY REVIEW HERE). 2 weekends ago I had some family time in Chicago. This weekend I hung out with the undead at the Zombie Pub Crawl in downtown Minneapolis.
If you're on the fence about Zombie Pub Crawl, give it a shot next year. Buy your tickets early because you can buy a ticket for $20 if you do. I purchased my tickets the day before the event and it was $45.
My friends and I did an absolutely horrible job taking pictures (We had zero pictures of us as zombies). And as you can see, I sustained multiple injuries, but that's what happens when you're as hardcore as I am. Actually, most of my injuries were sustained in the circle pit for Sum 41. #WorthIt.
It was my first year attending the Zombie Pub Crawl and I really didn't know what to expect, and although on paper it doesn't look like a lot of fun, I had a great time. Going into the event, I thought to myself "Okay, people are dressed up as zombies, and there's going to be music...so what?" but there were also food trucks and just having access to that space in downtown was a lot of fun. Having a wide range of music does help to. For example, we also got to see rapper Lil Dicky
If you're on the fence about Zombie Pub Crawl, give it a shot next year. Buy your tickets early because you can buy a ticket for $20 if you do. I purchased my tickets the day before the event and it was $45.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Taylor Swift Review | Minnesota | 2015-9-11
I went to Taylor Swift's show on Friday night (9/11/2015) and I didn't really know what to expect. I knew Vance Joy was opening and it was cool to see him again since I interviewed him when he dropped by Studio C.
I knew I was going to hear Swift's hits I have heard a million times while at work, and I knew it was going to be a big show. It's probably the biggest show I have ever been to. The only thing I can think of that compares is the Vans Warped Tour. All those bands, all those buses, all those stages, all those locations, and all those moving pieces. But comparing the Vans Warped Tour and Taylor Swift's 1989 Tour is not a good comparison. I grew up on punk and metal music, so I haven't ever been to a massive pop show. I'm used to going to intimate club shows where most of the people are there strictly for the music. I did not go into Taylor Swift's show with this mindset, and I'm glad I didn't because it would've been the incorrect approach. I went for the spectacle, the experience, and to witness the production value that I could never get at a 200 person show.
I was pretty much amazed right away. Everyone at the show received a wristband that would light up in sync with the music at the show. These wristbands were taped to the back of every seat at the Xcel Energy Center. That means before we were all admitted, a group of people walked around the arena and taped these wrist bands to all 17,000 seats. My pal and I wore our wristbands proudly the entire weekend.
I knew I was going to hear Swift's hits I have heard a million times while at work, and I knew it was going to be a big show. It's probably the biggest show I have ever been to. The only thing I can think of that compares is the Vans Warped Tour. All those bands, all those buses, all those stages, all those locations, and all those moving pieces. But comparing the Vans Warped Tour and Taylor Swift's 1989 Tour is not a good comparison. I grew up on punk and metal music, so I haven't ever been to a massive pop show. I'm used to going to intimate club shows where most of the people are there strictly for the music. I did not go into Taylor Swift's show with this mindset, and I'm glad I didn't because it would've been the incorrect approach. I went for the spectacle, the experience, and to witness the production value that I could never get at a 200 person show.
I was pretty much amazed right away. Everyone at the show received a wristband that would light up in sync with the music at the show. These wristbands were taped to the back of every seat at the Xcel Energy Center. That means before we were all admitted, a group of people walked around the arena and taped these wrist bands to all 17,000 seats. My pal and I wore our wristbands proudly the entire weekend.
Looking back, I still prefer going to intimate shows, but I don't see how anyone could be disappointed attending a stop on the 1989 Tour. Taylor clearly has mastered working the crowd. She can get you to leave your feet when she wants, and she can slow it down and tell a story and connect when she wants. She had pre-recorded transitions that featured other celebrities, there is a moving stage, there are lasers, and so many other production pieces you can see moving around in sync if you are able to calm your inner teenager and watch the show with an objective eye. But the 1 thing we cannot replicate at an intimate club show that I wish we could is the energy. I don't even mean the energy Taylor pours out, although she does exert a lot of energy into her well choreographed 1.5 hour show. I just mean the energy in the building in general. My ears literally rang from the screaming girls, the arena was lit from the flash of cameras, and minus a few disgruntled parents, everyone was into it. I don't think I could sit through all pop shows, but I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Taylor Swift's 1989 Tour.
CHVRCHES Review | Minnesota Show | 2015-10-10
I had a very adventurous and fun weekend, but I will spare you the details as the weekend was much more “adventurous” in person than it is on paper. Let’s just say we utilized Craig’s List in the best way possible and met some cool people. The reason I bring up my weekend is because I attended the CHVRCHES show and I wanted to share my experiences with people who weren’t able to attend the show. I am a fan of the band, and I have enjoyed both their debut album (The Bones Of What You Believe) and their recent release (Every Open Eye).
However, I’ve seen videos of their live performance and I very much thought they are a better studio band. They didn’t seem to dominate the stage like bands I have enjoyed seeing live in the past. They are also at a disadvantage since they are locked behind their computers and other devices. This was a case of YouTube videos not being able to capture the actual “energy” of a live show.
They are a much better live band than I had given them credit for. They obviously have a very cool synth sound and their stage matches what they are trying to accomplish. They have a bunch of big lights and even their gear is set up behind a neat little package. Frontlady, Lauren Mayberry, does a good job moving from song to song while breaking the show up with a few cool stories in between.
Even when listening to their albums, you understand that Mayberry isn’t trying to challenge Mariah Carey on range. She gets what works and she does it very well. She brings that exact same sound to her live performance. With a band like CHVRCHES, you have to appreciate the entire package when seeing them in concert. You aren’t going to be blown away by their stage presence, you aren’t going to leave feeling like your life has changed, but between the songs, the lights, and a solid performance, you’ll leave very happy.
My biggest disappointment of the night has nothing to do with the band. Myth was completely packed, but the crowd was dead. I went with a few people and we wanted to cut-a-rug, but our energy was drained by how dead the people around us were. It wasn’t until the show was about 75% over that people started really getting into it. This could be a case of their new album being too new since “Every Open Eye” came out at the end of September. Either way, if you’re a fan of the band and you missed this show, make sure you go next time they’re in town.
However, I’ve seen videos of their live performance and I very much thought they are a better studio band. They didn’t seem to dominate the stage like bands I have enjoyed seeing live in the past. They are also at a disadvantage since they are locked behind their computers and other devices. This was a case of YouTube videos not being able to capture the actual “energy” of a live show.
They are a much better live band than I had given them credit for. They obviously have a very cool synth sound and their stage matches what they are trying to accomplish. They have a bunch of big lights and even their gear is set up behind a neat little package. Frontlady, Lauren Mayberry, does a good job moving from song to song while breaking the show up with a few cool stories in between.
Even when listening to their albums, you understand that Mayberry isn’t trying to challenge Mariah Carey on range. She gets what works and she does it very well. She brings that exact same sound to her live performance. With a band like CHVRCHES, you have to appreciate the entire package when seeing them in concert. You aren’t going to be blown away by their stage presence, you aren’t going to leave feeling like your life has changed, but between the songs, the lights, and a solid performance, you’ll leave very happy.
My biggest disappointment of the night has nothing to do with the band. Myth was completely packed, but the crowd was dead. I went with a few people and we wanted to cut-a-rug, but our energy was drained by how dead the people around us were. It wasn’t until the show was about 75% over that people started really getting into it. This could be a case of their new album being too new since “Every Open Eye” came out at the end of September. Either way, if you’re a fan of the band and you missed this show, make sure you go next time they’re in town.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Alex Of Venice Review
Gave this movie a 4 out of 5 on Netflix, but I was this close to giving it a 5. I'm just a bitch with my stars, so I hardly ever give out 5s.
I complain about movies the same way I complain about music. There is a lot of good music in this world, but somehow the worst stuff always seems to rise to the top. Why the hell would anyone want to watch San Andreas when they could watch something that is worthwhile and meaningful? To be fair, I've never seen San Andreas, but pick any CGI infused summer blockbuster and odds are it's not very good. I would rather watch a movie like Boyhood, Little Miss Sunshine, and Alex of Venice where I get snapshots of life.
This movie came into my life at the perfect time. I'm really trying to find some traction to expand, explore, and improve everything I do, but I've been slipping and facing a lot of rejection lately. This movie reminds you that even when facing a few bumps and changes that you can still smile, have fun, and that life is not all that bad when you have loved ones surrounding you. Like the title character, I, too, feel frustrated and depressed when things are out of my control. But sometimes you just have to let things play out. Hug the people you love, spend time with the people you love, and don't worry.
I don't know what it is about scenes where people cry in the car, but they always work on me. The car is such a liberating, inviting, and insulated mechanism. There is just something about letting out a good cry in the car that just works. The color grading of the film has a warmness to it throughout the movie and it just glows. Despite the movie being about struggle and change, it remains positive until the end. I wanted to give someone the biggest hug when I finished the film. It also reminded me that I really should try this romance thing again. It has been about 5 years since my last romantic endeavor although it does not feel that long. Anyone want to go on a date?
I complain about movies the same way I complain about music. There is a lot of good music in this world, but somehow the worst stuff always seems to rise to the top. Why the hell would anyone want to watch San Andreas when they could watch something that is worthwhile and meaningful? To be fair, I've never seen San Andreas, but pick any CGI infused summer blockbuster and odds are it's not very good. I would rather watch a movie like Boyhood, Little Miss Sunshine, and Alex of Venice where I get snapshots of life.
This movie came into my life at the perfect time. I'm really trying to find some traction to expand, explore, and improve everything I do, but I've been slipping and facing a lot of rejection lately. This movie reminds you that even when facing a few bumps and changes that you can still smile, have fun, and that life is not all that bad when you have loved ones surrounding you. Like the title character, I, too, feel frustrated and depressed when things are out of my control. But sometimes you just have to let things play out. Hug the people you love, spend time with the people you love, and don't worry.
I don't know what it is about scenes where people cry in the car, but they always work on me. The car is such a liberating, inviting, and insulated mechanism. There is just something about letting out a good cry in the car that just works. The color grading of the film has a warmness to it throughout the movie and it just glows. Despite the movie being about struggle and change, it remains positive until the end. I wanted to give someone the biggest hug when I finished the film. It also reminded me that I really should try this romance thing again. It has been about 5 years since my last romantic endeavor although it does not feel that long. Anyone want to go on a date?
Monday, April 6, 2015
John Oliver + Edward Snowden Interview
Finally got around to watching this. I am so glad people are getting excited about Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
•I hope when we are all dead and gone, and some future civilization tries to piece together what kind of species we were, that they will find the clip of msnbc cutting away from a congresswoman to cover Justin Bieber. I also hope they have the context of Justin Bieber before they do. I foresee, at that point, them picking up all their gear and saying, "Let's get the fuck out of here! These idiots clearly deserved to die!"
•I think Oliver might've been harder on Snowden than most journalist. If journalists need a distancing tool like comedy to be tough, then all our journalists should be comedians.
•How sobering it must've been for Snowden to see that people only wanted to engage in a conversation about the NSA and surveillance when it came to dick pics. And how aware of Oliver to understand that we are all idiots.
•I hope when we are all dead and gone, and some future civilization tries to piece together what kind of species we were, that they will find the clip of msnbc cutting away from a congresswoman to cover Justin Bieber. I also hope they have the context of Justin Bieber before they do. I foresee, at that point, them picking up all their gear and saying, "Let's get the fuck out of here! These idiots clearly deserved to die!"
•I think Oliver might've been harder on Snowden than most journalist. If journalists need a distancing tool like comedy to be tough, then all our journalists should be comedians.
•How sobering it must've been for Snowden to see that people only wanted to engage in a conversation about the NSA and surveillance when it came to dick pics. And how aware of Oliver to understand that we are all idiots.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
It's Finally Time To Explain Why I Never Have A Girlfriend
I always get asked, "Min, how come out never have a girlfriend?" and I'm not quite sure why I always get asked that. Is there a sign on my back that reads, "I Don't Have A Girlfriend", or, "I Really Need A Girlfriend". For the longest time it was a question I sort of side stepped, and I think it's finally time to address that question honestly.
To start off, we should take a look at another question I am often asked, "Why are you so vocal about the rights of gays and lesbians?" Well, for one thing, homosexuals are human beings and deserve to have equal rights. But there is another side to this question I have kept buried deep in my closet -- and that statement right there might have already tipped you off. We have come a long way when accepting gay people, but I'm afraid we aren't fully there yet when treating them equally and some of us are bit more insecure about that topic.
You probably know where this blog is going and I don't need to drag it out much further. Sometimes a well constructed song can explain things much better, so I check out the song below:
April Fools' Day.
The question of why I never have a girlfriend is seriously a question I get all the time, which probably made this more believable. I don't have to live with the fear of coming out, and I hardly have to hide anything ever. So, when I hear people have to hide who they really are it breaks my heart. You deserve to be yourself, and you deserve to be loved.
To start off, we should take a look at another question I am often asked, "Why are you so vocal about the rights of gays and lesbians?" Well, for one thing, homosexuals are human beings and deserve to have equal rights. But there is another side to this question I have kept buried deep in my closet -- and that statement right there might have already tipped you off. We have come a long way when accepting gay people, but I'm afraid we aren't fully there yet when treating them equally and some of us are bit more insecure about that topic.
You probably know where this blog is going and I don't need to drag it out much further. Sometimes a well constructed song can explain things much better, so I check out the song below:
April Fools' Day.
The question of why I never have a girlfriend is seriously a question I get all the time, which probably made this more believable. I don't have to live with the fear of coming out, and I hardly have to hide anything ever. So, when I hear people have to hide who they really are it breaks my heart. You deserve to be yourself, and you deserve to be loved.
My Interview With Nico & Vinz
I didn't know a whole lot about NICO & VINZ before this interview, but the more I listened to their music and looked into them, the more fascinated I was. I love cultures and talking about things I don't know much about, and seeing that Nico & Vinz are from Norway caught my curiosity. I knew I had to ask them a bit about that, but we also talk about their music and how diverse their sound is, and we talked about what is coming up for Nico & Vinz. This is my full interview with Vinz.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Short Film: "I Care More"
We made the original cut of "I Care More" back in 2013, but now we have an all original cut with the help of my friend and musician Casey Hjelmberg. There are some disturbing images so VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. It was pretty much a 48 hour project. We had some spare gear, and a couple of my pals were free, so I wrote something really quickly one evening, filmed the next day, and then edited it.
Friday, March 20, 2015
John Oliver On The NCAA
Fantastic segment by John Oliver.
I remember during my last few years at the University of Minnesota is when TCF Bank Stadium was agreed upon. I don't follow college sports, but I had no issue with the construction of a new stadium as long it was responsibly financed and constructed and extensively looked over. Then I remember getting the bill for my tuition and seeing that the students of the University of Minnesota would also contribute to the funding of the stadium. Even then, it didn't make sense nor did it feel right that students would see an additional expense tacked on to their already bloated tuition. I still at times curse TCF Bank Stadium as I walk by it. Not because some of my money went into building the stadium, but because people felt it was acceptable to force students to help pay for it.
So to see that "student-athletes" are also taken advantage of is no surprise to me. Is there anyone and anything the long reaching hand of the profit motive cannot corrupt?
I remember during my last few years at the University of Minnesota is when TCF Bank Stadium was agreed upon. I don't follow college sports, but I had no issue with the construction of a new stadium as long it was responsibly financed and constructed and extensively looked over. Then I remember getting the bill for my tuition and seeing that the students of the University of Minnesota would also contribute to the funding of the stadium. Even then, it didn't make sense nor did it feel right that students would see an additional expense tacked on to their already bloated tuition. I still at times curse TCF Bank Stadium as I walk by it. Not because some of my money went into building the stadium, but because people felt it was acceptable to force students to help pay for it.
So to see that "student-athletes" are also taken advantage of is no surprise to me. Is there anyone and anything the long reaching hand of the profit motive cannot corrupt?
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Disgusting New Animal Cruelty Video
I don't really got bothered by extreme video content, but I can never make it through an animal cruelty video. I have seen some pretty bizarre things without flinching, but animal cruelty videos send the worst emotions shooting through me.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Students Ask Obama About Education In America
I've had some amazing teachers in my life, and I've even tried teaching for a bit. It's an insane job, but incredibly rewarding and you feel good because you feel like you are making in impact on society and lives. I have no doubt that education is the great equalizer.
"Society has just gotta make an investment." He's right, but I'm afraid it won't. So, is this something we drag people along with, knowing it's the right path? Or, do we turn away from education because society isn't ready to prioritize it correctly?
"Society has just gotta make an investment." He's right, but I'm afraid it won't. So, is this something we drag people along with, knowing it's the right path? Or, do we turn away from education because society isn't ready to prioritize it correctly?
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Shush - Listen To A Story
I love story telling.
I don't necessarily mean me telling stories. I'm a decent story teller at best, but I love the idea of "story telling". This concept of just being silent and having this composer take you down this path, have you see things that they want you to see, and have you feel things they want you to feel. It's a really big, generous, and abstract concept. You can captivate, entertain, and educate people with just this one thread.
I've been really making an attempt to just shut up and listen to other people more. Trying to widen my views and find inspiration through others. I'm the sort of person that's always swimming in my own mind and thoughts, but even more so these last few months. However, what I want right now is for other people to tell me stories. However big, and however small. I want to know how buying a toothbrush was a scientific endeavor for you the other night because of the diversity of toothbrushes. I want scientists to teach me about the Higgs boson.
I've been trying this new thing where I try to grab coffee with someone I haven't seen for a very long time at least once a week. Catch up, listen to their story, and just chat. It's been very rewarding and very refreshing. In fact, I just had a very nice conversation with a pal earlier today. I'm also that nerd that loves watching interviews. I don't remember how I ended up watching this (I fell into one of those YouTube spirals), but I loved what Chris Evans had to say. "Brain noise". I so badly want to shut off my brain noise sometimes. More often than not, I drag myself down with my thoughts. So, just tell yourself "shush", and, as Evans added, push yourself into what seems scary. It all made a lot of sense to me.
I don't necessarily mean me telling stories. I'm a decent story teller at best, but I love the idea of "story telling". This concept of just being silent and having this composer take you down this path, have you see things that they want you to see, and have you feel things they want you to feel. It's a really big, generous, and abstract concept. You can captivate, entertain, and educate people with just this one thread.
I've been really making an attempt to just shut up and listen to other people more. Trying to widen my views and find inspiration through others. I'm the sort of person that's always swimming in my own mind and thoughts, but even more so these last few months. However, what I want right now is for other people to tell me stories. However big, and however small. I want to know how buying a toothbrush was a scientific endeavor for you the other night because of the diversity of toothbrushes. I want scientists to teach me about the Higgs boson.
I've been trying this new thing where I try to grab coffee with someone I haven't seen for a very long time at least once a week. Catch up, listen to their story, and just chat. It's been very rewarding and very refreshing. In fact, I just had a very nice conversation with a pal earlier today. I'm also that nerd that loves watching interviews. I don't remember how I ended up watching this (I fell into one of those YouTube spirals), but I loved what Chris Evans had to say. "Brain noise". I so badly want to shut off my brain noise sometimes. More often than not, I drag myself down with my thoughts. So, just tell yourself "shush", and, as Evans added, push yourself into what seems scary. It all made a lot of sense to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)