Mission Accomplished! So, What's Next?

I sleep with my cell phone charging on my lamp stand. I do that so I have a fully charged phone to start my day, but also because I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. During weeks I abuse the snooze button, I will set my alarm song to something really aggressive. Imagine waking up to the sounds of Slipknot, As I Lay Dying, or Cradle of Filth. When I wake up, I normally shut my alarm off, and I check my e-mails. I have this horrible fear that I'll wake up and I'll have e-mails from people at work telling me I talked about something on-air that I wasn't supposed to talk about, or that I completely missed something. It's probably not a healthy thing to always be concerned about, but I'm not totally confident in my radio ability. In fact, feeling insufficient is probably an issue I will carry around with me for a long time. I guess the silver lining is that it always keeps me on my toes and open minded.

I move onto my personal inbox after I finish checking my iHeartMedia inbox. Yesterday, I had my usual spam, an e-mail from the Bernie Sanders campaign, and an e-mail that stuck out. It was from The University of Minnesota Graduate Admissions and the subject line was titled, "Subj: University of Minnesota - Application For Admission Decision". I locked my phone, stared at the ceiling for a second, and re-opened my phone. The e-mail was still there, and I didn't know what to do. A normal person might've quickly opened it, logged into their U of M account, and uncovered the University's decision, but not me. That lack of confidence slowly crept in again, and I thought, "Wouldn't it be awful to start your day with a rejection letter?" It's the sad way I approach everything that involves an appraisal of me (My job, girls, sports, etc).

I rolled out of and made by bed, started my morning routine, but I couldn't get that e-mail off my mind. I booted my computer up, because everything on desktop is better than mobile. I'm not here to brag about my computer, but I have some pretty sweet specs, and my operating system is on a solid state drive, so I only have to wait seconds to use my computer. I opened the e-mail, logged into my U of M account, and clicked on a link to open the University's decision. I decided before I did all of this to not raise any expectations. That way the fall back to reality would hurt less on impact. How incredibly shocked I was when the first word I read was, "Congratulations."Well, technically, I first skimmed over the date, my name, my student ID, and then congratulations.

The feeling of being lifted away on cloud nine is not something you feel every day, and difficult to describe. If this gives you something to compare it to, it's the opposite of having your heart broken. That's a feeling I know better. Heartbreak starts in your chest, and you feel a ripple work its way out from there. It feels like your blood is being drained, your body temperature drops, and your soul feels heavy. I quickly picked up my phone and called my mother. She had been pressuring me over the last week to send an e-mail to inquire when a decision might be made on my application. In typical fashion, my call went to my mother's voice-mail. I followed that up by telling my dad, texting people that helped me with my application process (recommendation letters, proof reading my statement letter, etc.), and I thanked a few teachers that helped me with this journey. It was actually my high school civics teacher that put me on a path to public service. There was no way I could have appreciated his teaching methods at the time as my mental capacity wasn't all there yet. His non-indoctrinating, nurturing, and engaged way of teaching really unlocked my desire to connect to and help the world.


This idea of applying to the Humphrey School of Public Affairs started about a year ago at church. It was a couple of months into the new year, and like I do every year around that time, I assessed my life and attempted to project what the next year would look like. I shared some of my concerns with a lifelong friends. In actuality, she's more of a sister as I've known her since she was in elementary school. I listened to what she wanted to accomplish in 2015, and I told her how I felt about my prospects. I hit a wall at work, I was underemployed, I wasn't engaged in any creative freelance projects, and I really wasn't working toward anything. I felt like an idiot, but she peeked my interest by telling me that the Humphrey School of Public Affairs might be a good fit for me. Although I've known my friends for many years, and I adore her, I never deeply talked to her about politics nor policy (although I should have considering she had been attending the Humphrey School of Public Affairs). She probably assumed the school might be something that matches me because I can't seem to stop commenting on social issues on Facebook. The more she told me about their Master's in Public Policy program, the more I was intrigued. I took some time to think about all the information she had shared with me, and I followed up one day. After receiving more input from her I decided to at least apply. I mean, what's the harm in that? I e-mailed the fine people working in admissions, and of course the deadlines for the year had all passed. I was encouraged to still apply, but also warned about the limitations. My ignorant little boy mind also didn't factor in all the time, effort, and money that went into the application process. What's the harm in applying? Studying for the G.R.E exam after not doing anything school related for years, paying for the expensive test, reaching out to people for letters of recommendation, and crafting an application that gloats about your attributes without sounding like a jerk. I have never been all that good at self-promoting. When it was all said and done, it was too little, too late. I was told to try again in 2016, and I fully intended to do that.

What I lack in confidence, I might make up in determination. Confidence totes a line with arrogance, and determination a line with stubbornness. Given the option between arrogance and stubbornness, I take stubbornness every time. There is no way to disguise arrogance, but at least I can claim my stubbornness is conviction. I took a fresh approach, and started the entire process again. Things got a bit rocky in November with the passing of a close friend. My G.R.E exam was creeping up, but I had no desire to prepare for it as I tried to sort out the concept of death. It's the closest I've ever dealt with death, and I couldn't make sense of it for a long time. In fact, I still haven't, but I have gotten to a point where I can compartmentalize it enough to function.


Fast forward to yesterday. After learning I had been accepted to the Humphrey School of Public Affairs, I thanked everyone I needed to thank, and I skipped out the door to work. When I graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2009, I thought I would never call myself a student again. I'm always a student of life, but I never thought I would be a student in an institutional setting. Well, here I am gearing up to return to the University of Minnesota in the fall of 2016. So what's next and what I am I expecting? I guess I don't really know. I know it's going to get really crazy with work, school, and trying to get involved in anything I can. I foresee my social life shrinking, decreased visits to the gym, and unless I can tie my creative side into my school work, I don't see that getting a lot of attention either. That might not sound great, but I am really looking forward to it. For so long I've been spreading myself thin, and I longed for something to put all my focus into. This feeling of excitement and focus is something I haven't felt since my first boss at Cities 97 hired me.

My focus for the next couple of years will be to gather the tools and knowledge to better myself so I can better the lives of the people in the communities around me and the communities itself. I will chase a life of academia and social work. Clearly I can toss that dream of becoming a millionaire into the trash bin now. Some of my church members recently suggested that I go back to school to study business. Given the options of business school or social work, I think, Jesus would have chosen social work. I'm of the millennial generation so a job that makes you happy takes priority over a higher paying job. My family is of the proletariat class. It is a class of people I admire and value, and hopefully it will soon be my duty to protect the proletariat class.