El Gordo

I am so fucking sore. Today is the first time since Saturday that I have been able to move some what like a normal person. Sunday I was pretty much rusted tin-man and yesterday I moved like a retard. Or maybe an old school zombie?! Monday should have been the easiest day ever, but it wasn't, it was hell. In my rock history class we listened to music, duh, thats what we do. Then I crawl over to my History class and we listened to more music (1920's Jazz and Blues), easy. But I was so sore that I just couldn't think or take notes. On top of that, in my history class I had to take a mean shit. Reminded me off my high school days when I needed to take shits but some teachers don't give you bathroom passes or limit you to one a trimester. I though those rules were so ridiculous. I knew if one day I had to go super bad and a teacher wouldn't let me, I was going to shit in the corner. Good thing it never resorted to that. You might ask, well you're in college, why didn't you leave and go? Well I didn't feel like packing all my shit up to leave and I don't feel comfortable leaving my shit in a room full of strangers. But football is awesome so its worth it. More on football later.

I read the other day As I Lay Dying hopped on the Warped Tour this year for a portion of the tour and I was pumped. Then I checked the dates and surprise! They aren't coming to Minnesota. Bummer. I really hope that Saosin decides to jump on soon. I would not mind one bit watching them again. I don't know if this will happen because they did the Senses Fail tour, and now they are on the Taste of Chaos tour. They might need a break.

This weekend was pretty relaxing and thats how I wanted it to be so we could get ready for the concerts coming up. Friday Peter picked us up again (Thank you), then dropped me off at my house so I could go out and eat dinner for my Mommy's birthday. After we went to Jon's last hockey game ever in White Bear Lake. Jon's team got THRASHED and THRASHED hard. The White Bear Lake team pretty much raped Jon's team in every way possible. Jon's team did get ripped off for a goal. Red scored but the refs didn't count it for some reason. One of the parents even got it on tape. Of course everyone spazzed for a second, but Mitch continued for about another 5 minutes. The only yelling at the top of his lungs. It was VERY embarrassing and I was I wasn't standing next to him. I had wished that people didn't see him in the same group I was in. I didn't want to be affiliated with him in any way. But more on this later when I write about football. Jon comes out of the locker room and looks pretty composed and I guess thats how I expected him to come out. If it were me, I'd be a total mess. My last semi-meaningful (c'mon, its junior gold) game after all these years and to go out like that. I would have collapsed on the ice after the game and pulled out a knife so I could stab myself. Jon said he let some tears out later in the car when his parents talked about the memories they made over these past years. I'm glad he cried a little. More about hockey later.

Sat started out with church and a quick exit so I could make it on time for football. Of course almost everyone was late, which I expected when I made the 3 o'clock deadline. We get to the park around 3:30 and step on the field which pretty much wasn't there because the ground was all ice. There wasn't a patch of ground. Another thing that sucked was that snow wasn't falling, but rather ice. Sharp ice. But we drew up a field, selected teams, and got the game rolling. The teams were Jon, Mitch, Nick, and Sat on one team and Dean, Andy, Red and myself on the other. The first game was rough. My team got spanked pretty bad. Andy threw a couple of interceptions and no one could stop Jon. The game ended with the score like 7-4 or something like that. Of course I was ready to hang myself, but the other team was gracious about giving me a rematch. I decided to play quarterback the second game to get some more direction with the ball and to eliminate any sort of turnovers and the eliminate their blitzing. On defense I decided to guard Jon instead of playing safety with cover two help from Andy since I felt Dean and Red were quick enough to defend their guys. It all worked. We converted more passes and got more first downs on offense. I had Dean carry the offensive load or who ever Jon wasn't guarding, but for some reason most of the time Jon wasn't guarding Dean. On defense I jammed Jon at the line at it seemed to break his momentum. I fronted up and cut off all angles between him and the quarterback (A borrowed basketball technique). I had Andy cover the top so I could focus on the dump offs. This through off their whole offense since Jon was their main threat. I had people blitz/rush Mitch when ever they could because he isn't the best pressure player or pressure anything. This caused a few interceptions which really turned the game. I think Red had a couple interceptions by himself. Mitch also had at least two fumbles. Dean swatted it out of his hand on a goal line possession and I swatted it out of his hand when he tried to stretch for a touchdown. Jon's team was able to recover the Dean slap and my slap was replayed because no one could tell if Mitch had crossed the line or not. The game ended with my team wining 7-4 or something like that. We wanted to play a short tie breaker up to 4. Jon's team started with the ball. The score was tied after 4 so the win by 2 rule was applied. In the end, my team came out on top. It was a grand time but my body has been paying the price over these last few days. After the game I lose feeling in my fingers for about a hour and I was actually pretty worried.
But there is one more major thing I want to bring up about the football game. During the first game when my team was down, there was a play where Mitch ran the ball and I tackled him after he had earned some yardage. I got up swearing and yelling. Naturally, I am a passionate player, everyone who has played with me knows this. I am all about winning. Mitch gets up and he presents me with the questions, "Why are you so fucking mad?" in a slightly aggressive tone. I was confused as FUCK. I was so confused I didn't know how to respond to it right away. I just looked at him for what seemed like forever. I was disgusted. I was shocked. Has he never played with me before? Has he learned nothing about me over our 5 years of being friends? Does he not understand my makeup? I can't even articulate on this fully cause I am still confused. Please help me understand anyone. A "jeez, clam down" might have been okay (I would have been pissed the fuck off cause no one tells me to calm down), but the question just confused me. Did he really not understand why I was fiery/burning/passionate? Mad is the wrong word. I am not mad. To say I am to serious I feel is wrong to. You can see me many times going back to the line smiling, joking around with people. Nick patted me on the back during one of the breaks and told me its okay, and I laughed with him. I am having fun. Hines Ward laughs when he plays football but he is one of the most passionate players on the field. But he is playing with people who understand sports and football, that might be the difference. I am having a good time, but I will do anything to feed my wanting to win. Mitch told me one day that he feels that he approaches sports and many of life's obstacles with the same mind set as me. He couldn't be more wrong. He always tells me he would do anything it takes to win also, so then why is it so hard to understand why I am cussing and yelling? I tried to think of answers. I thought maybe it was because I blasted him on the play (It was a pretty nice fucking hit, let me tell you) and he got up a little frustrated. But if he was frustrated he could have gotten up and yelled some angry at me. But that question! It got to me. I don't remember if I wrote my response to it yet, but I could only respond with a "When aren't I passionate?" The question just kept digging at me. Maybe people feel that I am not giving 100%. If Mitch can't see that I am giving my all, what are other people seeing? Do people think I am half assing it when I'm out there? Is my effort not up to par? I am getting a little heated just writing about this. If the question was about spazzing, it should have no come from him. I know some people will never understand my drive and will look at me like I'm crazy, thats fine. But I am not angry. But he really was asking me about why I am spazzing, I should have cut his fucking throat. This is coming from the guy who broke his hand from punching a wall because he got a little mad over something that probably wasn't a big deal. This is coming from the guy who couldn't stop yelling at the ref at Jon's last hockey game when everyone else was over it. This is the guy who got yelled at by one of our own coaches, by the coaches and parents who love us and support us all the way. That form of the question should have not come from him, maybe anyone else, but not him. Someone please give me their opinion and help me focus my thoughts. I know I am feeling a lot more things and I got a lot more say on this topic, but I don't remember what I've said so far and I don't want to repeat myself haha.

After football I went home to shower and warm up. It took me forever cause I had no feeling in my hands for a very long time. After I got some tingle back in my finger tips, I had a little sandwich and brought melee over to Jon's. We definitely killed some good Melee. Played some good Melee while listening to concert music. It was the perfect way to follow up football. A couple of things got in the way like being forced to shovel Jon's driveway and leaving early to make room for Katie's sleepover. But I have to say the biggest buzz kill was Jon and Dean tagging along with Jon's dumb little comments. I would ask questions and Jon would come up with little dumb comments that wouldn't even make sense and Dean would laugh his ass off and make Jon feel good about...well nothing. I mean it doesn't bother me if you do it once or twice, but you got to understand that you aren't making any sense at all. It stupid! Jon's pretty ignorant about these things and I've lived with that. Its a minor annoyance when it comes to some of the other things people do. I expected Dean to pick up on tension but he was pretty oblivious too. Jon's comments even got to Mitch. Mitch snapped and told Jon to shut the fuck up at one point (supporting my point above), Jon brushed it off because he thought Mitch was joking but I got the impression Mitch wasn't. Jon being Jon again. Ignorant. If Mitch would have snapped in usual Mitch fashion and maybe attacked Jon, I would have actually sided with Mitch and stomped the shit out of Jon's face in his own basement. I was pretty ticked off. I was feeling really good up to that point of the night. I just quit talking so I wouldn't have to listen to Jon anymore. When we got the boot I just wanted to go home and be left alone but everyone followed my to my house. I just said whatever and let them. Dean and Jon had to watch the Prestige or something so I got bailed out. This is the type of shit that scares me when thinking about moving in with friends. Maybe people are right, when you room with best friends, things turn sour. I am going to try and fix a little bit of that by writing honest blogs and actually speaking out loud about what is bothering me. I shouldn't worry about being "politically honest" or worrying about what the other person might think. Being honest is more important at this point. Blogs help a shit load to vent though. More on honesty, blogs, friends, and melee later.

Korean class now. Test today. Wish me luck.