Emo-Tional

It has been two days short of a month since I have last blogged and for that I deserve to be spanked by Jessica Alba about three and two thirds of a time. Sucks that I haven't blogged for so long but I guess life has been pretty plain and stress free for a good stretch. Blogging is like the ultimate form of venting for me and also I like to write things down so I can read them much later in the future. But the last few days have been rather shitty and E-bloggers and MySpace are always there for me, unlike shitty friends. For the past month I haven't done much and that might be why I feel so shitty now. I really don't know what the source of my issues are and that always seems to be my problem. Its never a matter of one problem, no, that would be to easy for me to take care of and get passed. Its always a whole slew of problems that all hit me at once. But do they really hit me at once or is it my fault for not taking care of things right and letting them drag on and accumulate. Another issue I have is I always blame myself for the things that go wrong, when I should really be throwing it on other people, sounds rude, but its true.

What have I done this past month except sit around and put in endless hours into The Bigs, which is a bomb game. The only events I can think of is Transformers, a good 4th with the family and my cousin John coming to visit form California. Transformers was a nice little joint that kept me happy. The fourth was really fun and I got to hang out with my cousins for a while which was a lot of fun. Eric is full of amazing stories and sassy comments. My cousin John came to visit so we took him to the Mall of America and on a different night we slept over at Eric and Ellen's house. We stayed up all night watched some movies and played video games and then woke up and watched some more movies. Later a bunch of the family came over and we had an old fashion Korean BB and Q, if such things exist. It was good as hell though, depending on which part of hell you have tasted. Oh, about a week ago Vince had his grad party and it was honestly one of the most chill and entertaining grad parties I've been to. To many people now'a days like to do things big but Ving kept it simple and it was mucho fun. People just grabbed a plate and sat around in his living room chatting, introducing one another and sharing stories. Everyone had input and everyone was very respectful and it made for a very grand time. I love social settings and I love meeting new people and talking about meeting people makes me really excited about moving into a new setting come September because I will have the chance then to meet all sorts of people. I really need to get out some more but that means I need friends that like to go out and do stuff. The bad thing is my friends have the social skills of a home schooled child.

So I started this blog around the same time yesterday and I am still writing it because I like to take breaks. I am currently listening to Circa Survive who I have been obsessing over lately and I'm trying to get one of my photos "Simpson-ized." But its being really ghetto and I assume it is because Tom of MySpace (Is there any other Tom?) is promoting it and the 10,000,000 MySpacers can't be good for the Simpson's server. How cool would it be to be immortalized as a Simpson?

Anywho, whats been going on? I just need to find a decent way to end this dysfunctional blog. I have no idea what I'm writing about. I've been killing a lot of movies lately. I watched Apocalypto, The Quick and the Undead, Domino and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. This is actually pretty sad but my favorite movie out of the list is probably The Quick and the Undead. Simply one of the worst movies I've seen this summer but I found it so entertaining. There are parts of the movie I would like to share but writing about it doesn't do it justice, I need to act it out. Its basically a shitty zombie movie set in the wild west where bounty hunters get rewarded for the number of zombies they kill. Pretty stupid idea huh? Well it is, but it makes for a great Min Lee watch. What can I say, I'm weird. Apocalypto was pretty good but I didn't like the end. Domino was pretty good, but it seemed to long. It is a lot like Crank with the over-production and so much saturation one would think they are on some sort of hallucinogen. I think its cool though, its like watching one long montage, and Min loves his montages. And I should really stop referring to myself in the third person. Referring sounds like reefer...I think.

I'll end this lunatics blog after this segment. I've been reading this book called Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture. I bought it from Urban Outfitters which is a kick ass store, because I love learning about cultures and what is better then music culture? The book is a semi-serious, mostly comedic book but you do learn a lot of things from reading it. Its written by Leslie Simon and Trevor Kelly who work for Alternative Press which is a kick-ass magazine. I'm only 20 pages (I have 2 AP issues I still need to read) and the foreword in but I've already learned so many things about the Emo culture and things about myself. But before I continue, if you are into the scene, do read it, you'll get a kick out of it. I've always been aware of the emo culture and I think I actually had more of a grasp on it then most people. Most people think its just about cutting and crying but I knew it was more deeper than that. I'm more of an understanding and compromising person than the usual human being. Just because people talk about their feelings does not make them a cry baby, venting is one of he best methods of healing I think. So really, I felt bad for the emo culture because they were taking a lot of heat for doing regular ass human stuff. Now I deeply entrenched into the Emo music scene but never did I really consider myself an Emo...wow that sounds dumb haha. Isn't an Emo a fucking animal? or is that Emu? Probably Emu...but I digress. A flightless bird right? (Alright shut up...) But the book really helps clarify what Emo means to the people on the outside that think they know what Emo means (Cutting, Crying, tight clothes, makeup...right?) People in college would ask me, "What is Emo?" all the time because I listen to the music and I never knew how to describe it. I mean they didn't even know half the bands I listed off, it was always, "Dashboard, Fall Out, Panic!? Do you know them?" "Oh yea! they rock." But now when people ask me, I can just be like go read this book and they won't, but at least I won't have to think of an answer. Here is something that really struck me, at the beginning of the book they introduce the "Emo Value System." A good list of qualities that make up and Emo. Depression was one of them and it went on to explain that Emo don't like to be depressed by them selves, but rather a group of other Emos. Sounds pretty stupid, actually really stupid but think about it, have you ever felt depressed and needed to talk to other people? Duh, right? Well if you're a more thoughtful person, I think you are more likely to be depressed because you think about shit that bothers you, I know I do. The second quality was Effort(lessness). Brilliantly titled because its true, it takes a lot of effort to make things look effortless. I totally dig this one. Empathy is the third one and I do feel lots of sympathy and empathy. I am a caring person so its just my nature to do so. But I guess that makes you Emo...this is something I didn't know about Emos. Here is a brilliant term that was introduced with the Empathy topic: "Overcast Kids." And do I know some Overcast Kids. So to the people that know the scene well, next time you see one of those people who are Emo to be Emo and that act like they know what is going on, that my friends, is an Overcast Kid. The next Value Quality is Faith. It goes on to say that Emos will follow anything they believe in 110%. Damn, describes me again, loyalty is such an important moral to me and I will follow people and things I believe to my death. Then it makes fun of an Emos faith and says that they blog about this...doh! Insecurity is another one, and I also fall into this category. The last one they name is non-athleticism, which isn't me. I might not be crazy athletic, but I do enjoy my sports. So I thought about it, I fall into most of the categories but I never considered myself an Emu. I just figured what these people do are normal human things, why wouldn't a person want to be loyal, considerate and outgoing? But I am learning that these are qualities not everyone possesses, and thats to bad. So maybe I am emu, who knows. Here is something that really did it for me, Emos are born, not made. So if you are trying to be one, stop haha. But I always tell myself there aren't people on this Earth like me, because it is really hard for me to find someone with the same viewpoints as me. Its really hard for me to find someone who acts like me, cares like me and believes in things like me. I tell myself I am one of a kind, and not because I think its cool, I think its sad. I feel alone at times. But maybe I need to hang out with Emus haha. And yes, I know I said Emu the last 5 times or so. Suck it.
Then they continue with Emo Facts vs. Fictions. "Being Emo means you don't have any friends." False. It means you have more friends, MySpace, AIM and music bonds them.
"Emo refers to a music genre - not a lifestyle." False, it is a music sub-genre but it has also become a lifestyle.
"Being called Emo is an insult." False, it was but not anymore.
"If you're emo, you cry all the time" False, thats just a dumb question, or I guess statement.
"Devout Emo followers are Celibate." False. Haha, this is what the book says, "...Sex is something that is often coveted by the emo masses, out of cirumstances, rarely ever experienced." Soooo true.
"If you're Emo then you're strait edge." False. haha, not for me.
Then it talks about mannerisms and etiquettes which I don't care to talk about since this is getting long. I guess out of my group of friends, Dean is the most Emo if you scientifically categorize my friends from the book. Maybe thats why we get along so well? Anywho, just another culture I learned I am a part of and I didn't even know it. All this time I tried to avoid it.