One Of Us Died Tonight, Somebody Knows.

So I just started watching Obama's speech about American students on Youtube and I just noticed reoccurring feelings I get every time he gives a speech. The first feeling I always get is excitement. I always think to myself, "this dude is going to say something really good that'll inspire a lot of people." That feeling and thought is quickly pushed aside when ever the camera cuts to the strait forward angle that most speeches are captured with. Then my mood changes to fear and I think to myself, "Shit, this dude is going to get assassinated this time."

Was anyone scared that Bush might get assassinated? Thought never crossed my mind.

Eat, Sleep, Fuck, and Repeat.

In my previous blog, I stated I wanted to write more blogs, and well hot damn, I'm going to get off to a good start.

I think people who say violent video games make our youth more violent are pussies. Pussies and fucking dumb. When I feel violent and aggressive, I channel those emotions through healthy mediums. Lately, I've been playing more Gears of War2 and Call of Duty (the only Call of Duty that fucking matters until Call of Duty 2 comes out [I am going to refer to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 as Call of Duty 2 from now on]). I also listen to music which helps me vent some of that inner rage. Violent video games to me are cathartic, not harmful. But, everyone is different.

I have joined that large pool of uninsured Americans. My student status has officially expired and I am no longer eligible to remain on my father's health insurance plan. I feel like my arguments for health care reform would be stronger if I wasn't a victim, but now I am a victim needing help. I never fought for reform before because I needed it, I fought for it before because I felt it was the right thing. People deserve to live calm, peaceful lives. What we have now is bull shit, absolute bull shit. I guess we are all playing the waiting game now. If these pussy ass democrats could actually get their shit together and pass something, that'd be kind of nice. Hey democrats, drop your dildos and get to fucking work. That is the problem with the democrats, they are too "open minded" and too many of them are pussies. Just get it done, that is what Bush did and now it is your turn to fuck up the country. Republicans have their shit together. When they have the power, they all move forward (or backwards?). They all agree on something, and push it as hard as they can. Even if they push us all the wrong way and into the shitter, they push. The republicans don't care about compromise, they don't care about the consequences, they just push and push and push. Stop compromising you stupid fucking democrats! The republicans are fucking crazy! Don't listen to them. Don't believe me? Look up Sarah Palin. Every time someone mentions something pro-republican, I will simply point to Sarah Palin. Palin and her history of goofs will be my support. Anytime someone says something pro-democrat, I will call them a pussy. When are these politicians ever going to do something for the people? You are public servants. Obama is coming out with this press conference or whatever where he is going to speak directly to our youth. He is going to explain the importance education. The conservatives already are complaining that he is going to attempt to brainwash the children. Please, shut the fuck up!

I was part of bush's "no child left behind" promise. I feel retarded just being part of that.

Anyone been listening to this Rachel Maddow? She is fucking brilliant! If only she wasn't a butch lesbian.

How come when Harry Potter uses magic, it is considered "witchcraft" to the Christian and the crazy right, but when Jesus uses magic the acts are coined "miracles?" *Sniff, sniff* Does anyone smell that? Yep, it's bull shit and the crazy right talking again (can you smell a group of people talking?!). I can't tell the difference between the Harry Potter bull shit, and the Bible bull shit. Oh right, one has been deemed actual events. The Harry Potter books, right? I think once the people of this world get over religion, we will be better off. We are not that privileged that when we die, we are revived and get to walk golden roads and are fed grapes for sexy ass women. Get over yourself you arrogant human fuck. When we die, we just die. The end. Take care of your body, and you will live a bit longer. The idea of eternal life is truly scary. Look at it this way - if we go to heaven, god is our boss and if we go to hell, satan is our boss. Either way, we are working for someone. Think about the worst boss you have ever had, and thinking about working for that prick for an eternity. Pretty scary huh? Why the hell would you want to work for someone forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever. Makes no sense to me. And think about this, if the devil and god are at war, why would satan torture us when we get to hell? I bet he is trying to build an army strong enough to topple god's kingdom. If anything, I bet he would take care of us and train us so he can finish off that dude god, once and for all. But the Bible teaches us that the devil is a super bad dude. Oh but that's right, the Bible is written from god's point of view. Why would he say anything good about the devil? That is like Bill O'reilly writing a book praising the democrats. It wouldn't happen. At least the devil didn't go tooting his own horn writing gossip about god. So far, the devil seems like a cooler dude than god. But where did I learn about the devil? Oh right, the Bible again. So he probably doesn't exit. If I ever own a book store, I am putting the Bible in the fiction section. Right next to Harry Potter. That'll piss a lot of people off. Probably because it'll make them wonder why the hell a book that starts with B is next to a book that starts with H.

One last topic before I go read 1984 and get some shut eye. Is anyone else glad to see Pfizer get raped by the long dick of the law? The same dick they sucked off so many times to become so fucking rich. $2.3 billion is the sum I saw. That is rape. Pfizer was asked to bend over and when they declined, they were forced to the ground. Begging for mercy, Pfizer took the dick in the ass. (I should start writing porn). I was thinking a couple months ago, and I pissed the fuck off that D.A.R.E lied to me when I was in the 4th grade. D.A.R.E taught me when I was in elementary school that were bad drugs, and good drugs. Get those fucking lies the fuck out of here. There is no such thing as "good drugs." They are all bad for our human bodies. None of that garbage needs to be in our body. You have a headache? Well, that is your body reacting to something it doesn't like. It is your job to find what is causing that reaction. By taking a little pill, you are just covering up the symptoms, not curing the cause. Americans will work harder to cover up symptoms, when they should be attacking the cause. Lazy, fat Americans. It is so easy to just take a poisonous pill, but it takes a little work to understand your body. It is your body, take some time to learn it. I don't take any pills, ever. Now, I think if it is life and death, the choice is obvious. You can either die, or take a poison pill and live. If that is the case, take the poison pill. I think I know why we are all so dumb. Because we take so many damn pills and we are just walking zombies. These chemicals have taken over our bodies. We are slaves to these chemicals, only vessels. I think we should legalize Marijuana because it would be the only fair thing to do. If these companies can sell these pills and make billions of dollars, Marijuana should have an equal chance. I don't smoke, nor do I drink. The legalization of marijuana wouldn't benefit me in the slightest. I just hate to see these stupid laws be so unfair. If it were up to me, cigarettes would be eliminated, alcohol would be eliminated, and all these stupid drugs would be gone. But I understand how successful prohibition was and I know this would never work. So we need to keep these things and if that is the case, everything should have an equal chance. We just need to teach people these things are not good for your body. What we should do is tax the shit out of these products. How much do cigarettes cost these days? In Minnesota, the cigarette tax is $1.05 per pack, and the tax on beer is .15 cents per gallon. Fuck that, tax the shit out of booze. These are things we don't need. I don't hear anyone talking about increasing the tax on booze.

Anywho, I'm actually a nice guy (I think).

Remove The Blood Stains From Your Walls

I don't have anything to write about, which is too often the case for me these days. I remember when I used to write every day. But those were days when I had to vent endlessly. I am hoping in September, I can write more of these blogs, I can read more, I can film and edit more, and I also want to get back to writing some music. I can feel these sparks of creativity inside me, and they want to be more than just sparks. I guess I need a slight push forward. On top of this, I want to get into photography, but hot damn, cameras do not come cheap.

I read there is a Ted Kennedy memoir coming out soon. I bet that would be an interesting read. Right now, I want to read George Orwell's 1984. I'm on page 5 right now. I have trouble reading fiction because while reading, I always try to paint a picture to what I'm reading. It ends up that my eyes are still reading, but my mind is painting a visual. What color is the wall? What is the temperature? Maybe that is why I am into motion pictures. I suck at reading fiction and it isn't because of that fake, made up thing called A.D.D.

Does anyone else enjoy this Michael Bay and Megan Fox feud? Did anyone catch Inglorious Basterds? More importantly, has anyone seen Food, Inc?! I want to see that so badly.

Everyone should check out "The Black Swan" by Story of the Year. Solid, solid record. There was a time when everyone believed Story of the Year was done. I went back and listened to their second album, and yes, those assumptions seemed just. But boy oh boy, did they come back with The Black Swan. I read they are recording now, and I can tell you right now, this little man is looking forward to it. I've always been listening to a lot of Emery, Between The Trees, and I just got my hands on the new The Used. This fall has a pallet full of new records coming out, so my new MP3 will be put to good use.

Suck it.

The Final Countdown

Just last night I watched an Oliver Stone and Bill Maher interview where Mr. Stone stated that America no longer has journalists. Journalists today are just a pawn of the government. Too afraid to speak to truth.

Then Keith Olbermann had his amazing episode on August 3rd. Calling out specific elected officials and their failures. Mr. Olbermann spoke for the people with no fear, delivering actual news. None of that Michael Jackson bull shit. If we had more people delivering news like Olbermann, people might actually know what is going on in this world. Olbermann called out both republicans and democrats. A politician is a politician no matter what brand they have stamped on their stupid heads. I have an amazing amount of respect for Mr. Olbermann. He called out for these lame elected officials to finally start working for the people and not these large companies. He also requested that the people start acting. Everyone should check out what this man has to say. The only thing I fear now is that someone will assassinate him. We all know how much those crazy republicans love their guns.

Bless Keith Olbermann!

WARPED TOUR 2009!

Sometimes I hear things. I hear things that sometimes makes my goose pimples rise, that sends a shock through my system, that get my hormones pumping. I hear music.

The highlight of my summer has come and is now gone. I am officially one day closer until Warped Tour 2010 comes to Minnesota. This blog might be a little early to start writing about how excited I am for Warped Tour 2010, so I will use most of this space to write about how amazing Warped Tour 2009 was. Warped Tour 2009 was kind of awesome. Just a little bit. The sun burn and pain I feel in my body right doesn't equal the amount of happiness Warped Tour brings me. A day full of music and culture. A day when I can completely ignore the world and just let music sink into me. A day when it doesn't matter how stupid I look and how stupid I act. If there is a heaven (and let me assure you now, there isn't a heaven) Warped Tour is the closest thing to it (at least for me). Some people claim to "like/love music" because it is "cool" to like music. I wouldn't say that is a false statement, music is indeed very cool. Music isn't just a bunch of noise that convey a message and make us feel things. Music is also fashion, culture, history, stories, etc. Music should mean much more in our world, but this meaning seems to get lost and is often traded in for what is "cool." Music to me is a life force. Music helped me through the hardest and darkest times of my life. I don't think I was ever close to be suicidal, but it would be fair to say music kept me afloat. Music was, and still is, by my side ready to take on the world with me. Music is also there during the happiest days of my life. If there is a group that appreciates music, I'd like to think I deserve a spot in that group.

The day I knew music was woven in my soul was at an Underoath headliner. That night was the closest thing I came to a supernatural/out of body experience. I don't know what song Underoath was playing, but it was so intense, it was so inviting, it was so clear and beautiful. During that song, I lost complete control of my body. I literally froze and had no control over my body. I could think and talk to myself, but I couldn't command my body to move. Shortly after I lost control over my body, I started crying out of no where. I have no idea why. But, I knew from that moment, I would forever be passionate about music.

I didn't have any body versus soul experiences at Warped, but I did have an overload of fun. The day started out with our usual breakfast at McDonald's then we hit the road. What we didn't expect was the amount of traffic on 169. One of my biggest fears is missing an important 11:00 set. My heart nearly imploded when we were still a while off, and 11:00 was near. When we got to Warped, there were massive lines like usual. We had to first find the will-call tent so that I could receive my free tickets from Warner Bros. Records. My tickets were there, but Richard's tickets he won through the John Lennon Education Foundation were a bit more difficult to track down. Eventually we got all our free tickets and got the whole crew together. It must have been at least 11:30 when we got into the venue. Naturally my first instinct is to speed walk my ass over to the mecca of Warped. When I looked to the top left corner of that giant red balloon, my heart sank about 16 yards. Devil Wears Parda was the first band on the main stage. "2 years in a row!?" I thought to myself because I had missed their set last year. However, I looked at the time next to the Velcro T.D.W.P label and saw that the first set on the main stage hadn't started yet. Thank the lord! This year Warped only used one main stage instead of two so the first band played a bit later. We had about 10 minutes until T.D.W.P hit the stage so we planned out route quickly. Main stage...Hurley stage...Hurley.com stage...Smartpunk stage...main stage...break. Warped 2009 would start quickly and would show no mercy.

I joked before Warped about badly we would be drained if Warped started with Underoath and Devil Wears Prada. Well, 1/2 of that joke came true as we started with The Devil Wears Prada. This would be the first T.D.W.P set I attended after the release of their new album. I don't think it was good for me to start off so quickly and aggressively. I always tell myself before concerts, "take it easy, pace yourself," but when that music hits me, I lose all control. They came in to the Mortal Kombat theme and I could feel all the juices in my body flowing. When the music started, it was all out hell. T.D.W.P sounds like T.D.W.P for the most part when they perform live. One difference I always notice is that it is much easier to hear the keyboard on their record. Which is the opposite for Underoath. Since T.D.W.P played so early, I had plenty of room to move around and act like a complete fool. My friends told me after Warped that there were some members of the crowd that laughed at my "dancing." Which is fine with me. I'm not at Warped to impress people, haha. I wish some of the people I went with knew more of the songs because they really are a fun live band. We didn't get to finish their set (most likely left a song early) because Scary Kids Scaring Kids overlapped.

We sprinted over to the Hurley stage and when we got there Scary Kids Scaring Kids were already mid-song. Dean and I snaked through the shell of the crowd so that we could get into where the party really happens. The Scary Kids crowd was much more calm compared to the T.D.W.P crowd. I was actually surprised. T.D.W.P had a bigger stage, but I thought a Scary Kids crowd would have an equal amount of energy for its size. This all just meant that we would have to get the people around us more into the energy of the songs. The vocal mic was a little low in the mix, but Scary Kids sounded very good. They did a good job of mixing new songs, old songs, softer songs, harder songs and gave their set a diverse feel. Scary Kids requested a "wall of death" (which I hate). Dean and Jon seemed to have some fun with it. Scary Kids ended and it was off to the Hurley.com stage as the end of this set and the start of the Meg&Dia set matched perfectly.

We got to the Hurley.com stage as Dia just started singing. This is only my second time seeing Meg&Dia perform, but the first time was completely boring. I was hoping that this time would be a little different. When we got there, the crowd was spaced out and completely still, which was not a very good indicator that this was going to be a very fun crowd. I'm not for crazy pushing, crowd surfers, but I am for a little crowd movement. A little dancing. It doesn't seem right when there is about a foot of space between me and the next person. The first time I saw Meg&Dia, I think I was the only person in my group that had really checked their music out. This year Dean and Jon joined me so I had at least 2 other people to feed of off. They made the Meg&Dia set 100% more entertaining. The people we were around didn't seem to like our moving around and jumping too much, but they can suck a dick. Dean and I have had many friendly debates debating whether Carlo or Meg is playing the guitar solos. Dean officially earned his Meg&Dia badge mid-way through the Meg&Dia set. What amazed me was the band was able to completely ignore 3 college aged males jumping around and yelling in a sea of 4 foot tall girls. Not even a look, not even a smile of amusement. I don't know if this was a good thing, or bad. If they didn't completely ignore us, they probably would have yelled at us for causing such a scene. I always hear Meg&Dia fans complement the band on how much they sound like their records. I would like to disagree. Some of the parts seem watered down and I Dia doesn't sound nearly as good live. She doesn't sound that amazing on the album. I really appreciate the diversity of their songs and their composition, but they just aren't my favorite live band. The crowd is no good, the songs a much thinner live, and they lack stage presence. Dia is no Hayley Williams. However, I think they are a good band to have on Warped. It is a very good mix up, and I needed a break before we headed over to Senses Fail. Plus, Meg and Dia (The sisters, not the band) are incredibly attractive. I can't believe my own girl friend didn't even say hi to me in the middle of their set!

Lucky for us, the Hurley.com stage was right next to the Smartpunk stage. I think the band I have seen the most is still Senses Fail, although Underoath is catching up quickly! Coming into Warped, there seemed to be a lot of Senses Fail break up rumors. I actually thought the same. Heath is leaving the band soon, they haven't done much touring, they all seem to have regular jobs, Buddy now has a side project, and their latest effort was about 2 touchdowns weaker than Still Searching (although Still Searching was a near masterpiece). I heard they have a fall tour in the works, but I am still not convinced. I missed the last This Day and Age show, and the last Acceptance show (they announced their break ups after their last tours) so I promised myself if this is the last time I see Senses Fail, it'd be a good one. Senses Fail put on a good show. I don't think they have ever been the best live band and Buddy certainly isn't the greatest singer on this earth, but they have enough passion and energy to make a lot of people happy. The instrumentals are pretty much spot on with the records -- I think. I can't be sure because the way I participate, I feel like I'm not catching everything. Buddy always has some interesting topics to talk about between songs. He reminded us that Brett Favre isn't coming to play for the Vikings (jerk!). But he also had a very good message about the scene becoming a joke. There are so many joke bands out there now because it is so easy to record a decent demo in your basement and create a MySpace profile. As long as your band wears neon skinny jeans, high tops, typical neon band shirt, shutter shades, and a flat brim baseball cap, you are ready to become a scene band. You also can't know how to play actual instruments and need to be completely computer based. Maybe I'm not the one that should judge because I am not good on any instrument. However, that is why I consider playing and instrument a skill, because it is hard and I can't do it. I always joke about making a top 40 album on my keyboard with the samples I have on my computer. That doesn't seem to difficult, but playing a guitar at a high level is something that I am not close to doing. One of the songs I was most excited for was "Family Tradition" (along with "Danger: Wildman" by T.D.W.P) and I was not disappointed. This was the first time I heard any of the songs off L.I.N.A.W.R live and they all sounded good. Hopefully Warped isn't the last time I see Senses Fail.

After Senses Fail it was back to the main stage for Chiodos. We got there in time for a 5 minute breather and then the music started. At this point I'm completely drained. The worst part was Craig had the crowd do all these stunts that made it almost impossible for me to pay attention to the music. At one point he challenged us to beat the world crowd surfing record (apparently held by My Chemical Romance). Many punches were thrown as I absolutely hate crowd surfers. I can handle a few as I understand sometimes that is the best escape route. Especially if I see little girls crowd surfing. I never understand when fat fuckers crowd surf. Why would you do that to us?! I also hate it when I see the same fucker crowd surf more than once. When I do catch someone crowd surf more than once, they will have some sort of mark on their body to remind them not to do it again. A long time ago, I felt bad when I punched someone thinking it was a boy, but it actually turned out to be a girl. It is difficult to tell sometimes since everyone looks like a girl in a Chiodos crowd (except for the prog type emo). Now, everyone just gets punched with out any sympathy. Well, some sympathy. If I didn't show sympathy, there would be a poor individual in the hospital right now getting work done on his male genitalia. When surfers are hanging right in front of me, is when they get it the worst. After the song, Craig said that there would be no more crowd surfing for the rest of their set. A few songs later, he had us do a wall of death for "Best Friends". Chiodos sounded very good, it was just hard to pay attention to them with all the crowd participation. I sound kind of hypocritical because I just complained about how boring a MegDia crowd is, but now I'm complaining about how rowdy a Chiodos crowd is. I just need some balance is all. I need to crowd to be into the music, but too much pushing makes it difficult to pay attention to the music. I guess I'm too much of a circle put guy.

Our first break came after Chiodos and I needed it. I don't think I've ever felt that bad at a Warped since my first Warped tour which is excusable since I had no idea what I was getting into my first time around. An hour gap for us to get drinks, pee, and eat before Underoath. We left some drinks in the car, however they wouldn't let us re-enter after we left the venue. It is good thing Dean is such a sweet talker.

Underoath would be our epic finale. Underoath played around 4:00, but there weren't many bands we needed to see after. Easily the earliest our Warped ended. Not because the Warped lineup was thin, but because they stacked all the acts we wanted to see on top of each other early. If you haven't seen an Underoath set and you are into the scene, then you are obviously not very smart. Easily one of the best live bands in the scene. They sound absolutely perfect and identical to their albums (maybe Aaron's singing is a bit cleaner on the albums), they perform with enough energy to create about 5 atomic bombs, and there are so many other reasons why they are one of my top bands. I knew the set was going to be awesome because it started with a Gatorade bottle landing on me full of yellow Gatorade. Now my face and shirt were full of Gatorade. There isn't I can say to help someone imagine an Underoath set, it is truly an experience. Again, the songs are perfect and it is obvious they practiced their sets because they add theses amazingly intense and epic interludes between their songs. I wish they would just record those interludes and make an album. They ended their set with "In Regards To Myself." That sound of the film projector starting will forever be known to the screamo world through this song.

We wanted to try and catch a bit of the Saosin set before we left, but they overlapped Underoath more than I thought. We left Warped and headed to our traditional post-Warped Taco Bell dinner. This year we were joined by Jeff and first timer Ben. I felt bad for some people in my group because they didn't know many of the bands at Warped. I always safely have about 5 acts at Warped that I have to see. I'd like to think I am pretty diverse when it comes to music. Not as diverse as I once used to be, but I enjoy everything from pop-punk to hardcore. If it is good music, I can listen to it. Now I play the waiting game and prepare myself for that one special Sunday in August.

Thank you Warped Tour! And thanks for all my friends.
(And thank you to Meg&Dia and Warner Bros. Records for getting me in for free!)
(I hope this blog makes some sense, because I never proof read these shitty things. I may have wasted the last 2 hours of my life).

Ring Around The Leader And We All Fall Ashes

If anyone is excited for this Sunday, it is me. Warped Tour 2009 is only a few days away and my underpants are stained yellow from the excitement. Warped Tour always punctuates my summer, however, it is kind of bitter sweet. The event and everything going up to it is simply amazing. But Warped always marks the tail end of summer, it also means that on Monday we all have to go back to the real world, and lastly it means that I will be a full year away from the next Warped Tour. This year might be my last Warped for 2 years if everything goes according to plan and I go teach in Korea next year. Teaching in Korea seems like an opportunity and experience I can not miss. My underpants are brown from the excitement and the fear. But that is still a down the road a little bit so I try not to think about it.

Here are the bands I plan on rocking out to at Warped if the set times permit:
-Chiodos
-Underoath
-The Devil Wears Prada
-Senses Fail
-Meg&Dia
-Scary Kids Scaring Kids

And I will probably catch some All Time Low, Thrice, Saosin and maybe The Ataris.

At the beginning of summer, Dean and I joked about getting free passes to Warped this year. Well, I dreams have come true as our group won 6 free tickets. I won a pair through Warner Bros. Records and the Meg&Dia context, Richard won a pair through the John Lennon Education group (bless that man), and Dawson got two free tickets through an AT&T associate. This will be Ben Lee's first Warped experience. Saved myself $40 and all I had to do was put name in a drawing. That imaginary guy named god must have been on my side this time. I'll write my annual Warped blog sometime next week.

I saw a bumper sticker towards the beginning of my indefinite summer vacation that read, "God Bless The World, No Exceptions." How excited I was to read it! I get upset when I read bumper stickers that say, "God Bless the U.S.A," because that implies that everyone outside the U.S of A is excluded. Now if there was a god, I don't think he would be the kind of guy to pick and choose who is blessed. We are all his children and I would bet that he loves us all. At least these are the stories I was raised with at church. I suppose there actually has to be a floating man in the sky before any of these blessings can happen. I get confused when christian childern are not allowed to read Harry Potter because "he uses witches magic." Didn't Jesus use magic? Oh right! When he does magic tricks we call them miracles. There is a difference. Anywho, don't listen to people when they say, "god bless America." It's dumb in so many ways.

I have been kind of struggling with race these days. It is something I never struggled with, but lately I've been very sensitive to how white people treat other races. I think it has gotten to the point where I don't see things clearly and objectively. When ever a white person makes a comment about race, I pretty much assume they are wrong and racist. A white person could come up to me and tell me, "I love black people and Asians! I think they are the best!" and I would think he is being sarcastic. Really, I should be thinking, "what the fuck is wrong with this guy!?" haha. I think I started changing after I was a victim of racism. I started thinking after the incident, "What if I was being victimized and didn't know it until now only because it was so explicit?" So I promised myself from that day after I would be more aware of racism toward me. After that promise, I have caught many smaller acts of racism toward me and I think slowly the acts started to build up. I still think race shouldn't play any part in judging a person. I've always been a person to treat people on a human to human bases. It is just that I am more "snappy" when it comes to white people now. I don't think I hate white people, but I can't help but feel a little Black Panther-ish about situations now. Makes me appreciate MLK even more now. How he could preach peace when white people have been fucking him and his family over and over and fucking over is something I don't think I am strong enough to do. When I see a white person act racist toward anyone now, it always catches my attention. It doesn't even have to be toward me anymore. I feel guilty because by feeling this way, it makes me as bad as my racist white counter part. I am especially paranoid around old ass white folk. It always feels like they have something against me, like they don't want me in "their country." How come people always tell people to, "go back to China," but people never say, "go back to Europe"? If I knock a old white person out, will the police attack me? Going by that statement, I would agree they should. What if an old, NRA loving dude pulled a gun out on my and I knocked him out? Will the police still attack me? Probably. This is kind of a sensitive topic and I am not trying to offend anyone. Especially since race relations have been in then new with all this Obama shit. Our president is racist! What is new? This is an issue I am trying to fix. I think I am overly sensitive and seeing racism now when racism isn't even there. I need to return to my objective state so I can judge things fairly. Right now, I'm about as crazy as Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck and I do not want to be in that company. At least I know I'm a little crazy and paranoid right now. I don't think those guys have a clue. With all this said, I still have fun playing around with these already created stereotypes. I think it is important to have fun with these made up stereotypes. Maybe "important" isn't exactly the right word, but I don't think we should be overly sensitive about race (like I should be the one saying that right now, haha). However, it is an issue that obviously needs to be fixed. I'm just not the person to fix it right now. Maybe after I beat up some white people I'll feel better! I only joke! Jesus...

Before I close this blog, I just want to remind everyone that Sarah Palin is the dumbest bitch alive. EVER. Not because she is white, but because she is dumb. Just plain stupid in the head. She makes me want to stuff my stained underpants in my mouth.

Is This Real Life?

I've taken two showers within 4 hours without having done any real physical activities (unless video gaming is considered a physical activity). Kind of a waste of a lot of stuff. But I'm a stupid ass American and I'm allowed to live in luxury at the expense of others.

I haven't been very loyal to my blog and I've been absent for over two months. That makes me sad. The days seem to go by so quickly even though it seems that I don't do much. Typically, I get my 8 hours of sleep, do some chores around the house, relax a little bit before going to work, come back home and relax a little and try to get some work done before bed. The weekends go by so quickly they just seem like a blur. The only thing I remember about this last weekend is that I went to church but I can't recall any fine details. Okay, so I actually can, but still, to enhance my story, let us just go with it. If anyone has read "The Things They Carry" this is the "story truth." I am thinking about cutting my average hours of sleep to 7 hours. However, I know that my mind must receive rest as that is the most important part of my functionality. How am I suppose to learn how this world works if my mind isn't at peak performance? How awesome would it be if I actually found the answer to that question? Maybe some day.

It may not seem like it, but I actually love being an American. Really. We have a lot of bad things going on, but let's not forget all the good things we have too.

I'm going to keep this blog short. I just wanted to blog hoping that if I just do this short one, I will get into the routine of doing these more frequently. Usually come 2:00 I am ready for bed, but it seems that I have some extra energy today. Must have been that Monster energy drink I had this morning. It seems that I have an action packed day tomorrow (technically today). It begins with a viewing of the new Depp movie, "Public Enemies" which I am hoping is better than the last two movies I have seen in theaters. Terminator was a complete disaster and Transformers was obviously made to make an extra buck capitalizing off the success of the first one. These lame ass summer blockbusters can suck a big...fat...long...popsicle. I have found rekindled love for popsicles lately. I've been more of an ice cream guy, but the popsicle has served me well these few weeks. I am hoping this movie tomorrow remind me why I love movies so much (like I need reminding, pwah!). If it turns out to be another failure, I quit going to the theater for the rest of summer. I'll set the bar at at least 3 out of 5 stars. Any lower, and I quit seeing lame summer movies. No movie and dinner dates for the rest of the summer, and I am a man of my word (unless I am somehow pardoned by a small jury). But no big loss, like I go on dates, haha. That last sentence isn't a cry for attention, but it was suppose to act as a segue to my next statement. However, by detouring so off course, it is once again a cry for attention? Have I completely lost my chance to set it up as I had originally intended? Damn, I love going on little tangents that pop into my little fucked up head. I'm pretty sure I already know the woman I'm going to marry, now my only task is meeting her and tricking her into liking, or even falling in love, with a crazy ass man.

I'm going to throw this out there right now - Dan Haren is the fucking man. Dude is even getting it done with his bat. If my memory serves me right, he is batting a solid .280 as a pitcher. Sure, I could have just Googled that stat and made sure that I'm not crazy and could have avoided sticking my neck out, but there is no fun in that. If there wasn't a guy named Albert Pujols, the first half MVP in my mind would be pretty easy. If you don't agree, I don't care, I'm stubborn. Actually, I do care.

Alright, I'm going to squash this here. I hope to be back on this tomorrow, hopefully with more meaningful words. But even I know we can't take life seriously always. If we did, we'd all probably commit suicide! Yaaay!

G'night!

I Have 10 Minutes Until Class

Just a quick little blog to help me waste 10 minutes. I should really be reading the .pdf window beneath this blog window, but I don't really care that much about black cowboys. Only Somali pirates! Arrr! That whole thing is super weird, maybe I'll write more about it later tonight after class. But probably not since I have to storyboard my movie that I'm shooting this weekend.

I was on campus at 11:00 a.m today, which I think marks the earliest I've been on campus this entire semester. I had to go visit a teacher to discuss my midterm paper. My class is at 2:30 so I've been in this computer lab after visiting her office hours wasting time. I listened to Meg&Dia's new album, "Here, Here, and Here" which is very good. Again, I'll cut myself short because I don't want to dive too deeply into anything since I need to hike it over to the west bank in a second here.

I'm completely obsessed with Fantasy Baseball right now. I love Stat Tracker. I want marry Stat Tracker.
I hate fantasy basketball. No, actually I love it. It's my best sport. Things just didn't work out for me this year with timing, and injuries. A damn shame too.

I really wanted to write a blog a few weeks ago when my uncle passed away. I had a bunch of weird emotions run though me at that time. Those emotions have passed through me now, and are difficult to recall. I really should have wrote something then while I was still feeling.

I wish I was a better writer. I think it is fun writing screenplays and I might take my zombie dream I had a long, long time ago and make it into a screen play. Practice makes perfect, right?

I'm already looking forward to Warped Tour. This summer is going to be amazing. Also completely unstable and unsure. But that's life, isn't it? At least that how I perceive it right now. Maybe you grow up and everything makes sense (although I highly doubt this).

Sometimes I worry I'm a p.o.s. No, not the hip-hop artist.
I like honesty. I like Lacan's "real." I think taboos shouldn't exist. I think everyone should be comfortable with who they are and their surroundings.

But what do I know.

George Carlin Once Said, "Shut The Fuck Up!"

I need to get this off my chest or else something might happen to me that physics can't even explain.

Here comes the exposition. I first need to establish this -- I am a Facebook stalker. That in itself might be an offense to many and therefore rendering this entire blog hypocritical and useless. But fuck it.

As I stalk the "updates" of my Facebook friends (most of them I do know in real life), it has become apparent to me that the friends I now know, or the friends I made in highschool, are from suburbia America. Not that I didn't already know this, I fully understand that I grew up in Plymouth, Minnesota which borders Maple Grove, Minnesota and Wayzata, Minnesota which for the most part is made up of middle class white America. However, I never want to assume that because someone grew up in suburban America, they act like children from suburban America.

But holy fucking shit the people I know are "white". I say this because spring break is near, and all the status updates reflect that. The friends I have on Facebook seem to feel that they are entitled to a trip to mexico during spring break. "Spring break is in a few days and I don't know where I'm going!" "Oh no, I'm not going to Mexico this year!" SHUT THE FUCK UP! Just because Daddy has paid for you to go to Mexico every year or every other year does not mean you are entitled to a vacation every fucking spring break.

I'm going to kill this here.

The End.

John Lennon

If I ever become president of the United States, I'm going to invade my own country. Not because I hate the U.S.A, because I don't, but because sometimes it takes a good slap to the face to understand what we are doing to others.

So don't vote for me.

How I Know I'm A Human Being

I am at times horny and I am at times violent.

I'm Not The Same Man I Once Used To Be

Does anyone else find it difficult to start writing something? When you sit down to write an essay for school, or to fill your blog, just writing something from scratch is so difficult. It feels so awkward. Where the fuck do I start? Here? There? There is no real good segue from nothing. If only there was a way to make my blog slap my readers in the face when they open up my blog. That'll be a nice way to start. It would certainly make the reader at least slightly shocked and desire an explanation as to why a hand manifested from their computer screen and slapped them across their innocent face. And I hope the slap is just perfect enough to leave a red mark across their face. I do, because I'm fucked up in the mind like that. I wish my fucked up-ness was contagious and that I could sneeze on people and other people would be as equally as fucked up in their dome as I am. I would sneeze on all the scientists in the world and all the doctors so that a cure would never be discovered. Eventually my brain disease would spread across the world and everyone would think crazy thoughts and nothing could be done about it. Everyone would be sick in the head, except for Magic Johnson, 'cause that mother fucker is not affected by any disease. Then everyone would think of crazy scenarios like one and we'd all be amused by them. But at least we would all be thinking.

If you've made it this far, congratulations. Now ask your self, why the hell did you read that first paragraph? It's crazy. Truly pointless. Most of my blogs are, but once in a while I throw out some meaningful shit. I ask some questions that have no real answer to them and I like reading what people think about them. I enjoy the fact that we can not accept that maybe there are some things in this world that have no answers. For example, there is no explanation as to why I've become such a baller. I certainly don't have an answer and I'd assume most people out there don't either. I only joke. I was actually going to talk about something in this blog, but I have completely derailed myself with all this jibber-jabber. Now I barely remember what I originally came here for. Meh, it matters not, I feel like writing a little bit and that's what I'm going to do.

I started the day out today with a George Carlin video and I think that increased the quality of my whole day. I think everyone should start their day out with a George Carlin lesson or a Priscilla Ahn song. It'll set a proper "beat" for your entire day. Here is a link to to the video I watched this morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw
Does his voice crack at the beginning of the video? I wish George Carlin wasn't dead. He is such an amazingly smart guy and he isn't worried to spit the truth. He isn't concerned about what people are going to think of him. He has no reason to worry about what other people think about him because he knows the truth. If you have that much knowledge, if you can get over all these man made ideas, if you aren't afraid of the truth, you have nothing to fear. You share the truth, nothing but the truth. I love that George Carlin can say anything on that platform and he can get away with it. If our President (yes, OUR president, fuckers, hehe), Barack Obama, said any of the shit Carlin said, he would get assassinated immediately. Maybe I'll get assassinated just by mentioning assassination. That's what is fucked about us, human beings. We are so fucking scared of the truth. If the truth inconveniences you, and/or instills the tiniest bit of fear in you, you say it is taboo. You tell the author of the message to keep it to them self. Why is it okay to ignore the truth? I don't care how depressed I get, the truth is something I can not compromise. If the truth doesn't fit my ideals, I don't ignore it by telling myself that it's a crazy idea and that it can't be true. I accept it, I might sulk or just get extremely depressed for a week, a month, half a year, but then I learn how to accept it, because it's the truth. I can't afford the live a lie (nor can I afford much of anything because of the cost of tuition). I think this philosophy is part of the reason I don't take any drugs (medicine) or partake in any mind altering substances. I am proud to be strait edge. Let us take aspirin for example. If I remember my lessons from introduction to psychology during my freshman year, aspirin is a drug that blocks certain chemical transactions. Basically it lies to our brain that we are feeling pain (headache). Something tells me that a healthy human being doesn't have just have headaches for no reason. There is a cause and the headache is a symptom, a warning our body gives us to find and to take care of the cause. So instead of just lying and taking a quick aspirin, isn't it a better solution to find the problem, to learn, and then to avoid the cause in the future? "But it is so much easier to just take an aspirin each time I get a head ache!" Yeah, I know, but Mama said life wasn't going to be easy. People just focus on the symptom, not the cause. Wake the fuck up. I guess this is part of the reason I avoid alcohol and drugs. I just can't live a lie. I have to be myself. I don't want a diluted version of myself walking around interacting with the people I usually interact with taking credit for my accomplishments. But hey, I'm in the minority, I actually don't know another strait edged person. If a majority of the people are a certain way, then it has to be true, right? How do I come up with such stupid ideas? Why do I willingly choose to live this way? It's pretty dumb that I do choose to live this way. You only live once, so let's get wasted and blazed out of our fucking skulls. I guess it's just not for me. I can't conform to the main current or popular beliefs. I'm not saying my philosophies are the truth, I don't think I am that conceited, I'm not "God", you know that imaginary guy that floats above the clouds and taps into your thoughts like the Patriot Act. But this is how I view it, and it sucks. It sucks always being in the minority. Strait edge, Asian, homo...just kidding, I don't listen to the radio, I don't like every super hero movie that comes out during summer break, I just can't achieve the sexy standards. I am human, I want to be accepted, I want to be respected. Especially because I am such a social person. I need people. Another problem is I'm kind of a control freak, when things don't work out, I question things. I build all these walls that I need to climb and for no real reason. Because society and other people suggest that one way is the right way? I'd like to tell myself I am all these righteous things, we all do. But take a hard look at what you do. We are all pieces of shit. Everything we do is because of something fake. I've been struggling with this fact lately. Is there anything we have to do because nothing would make sense if we didn't do it? I think we have to eat, or else we wouldn't get too far. But nothing else comes do mind. Maybe sex, I think it is very possible that sex is programmed into us. But I'm not completely sold on that. I don't really remember my thoughts from when I was 5 years old, but I don't really think I thought about women the same way then as I think of them now. But chemicals in our bodies do change after that magical period we call puberty. And no, I'm not a womanizer. I don't want to stick my dick in every vagina I come across, well, that gets complicated sometimes, hehe. But I don't think women should be treated like flesh or slaves. God didn't make women from man. They are not our subordinates. They aren't organisms created by God to clean shit stains in our underwear, women are not people (think about how Fox could edit this line, "Women are not people" -Min Lee) who we should expect to have sandwiches ready for us when we get home, they are not just warm walking flesh that just sit around and wait to take care of our hard ons. Respect the women in your life. Damn, I lost track of my thought. Sometimes I have so much shit on plate that I forget where I'm going. One statement can lead to like 3 things and I go one way and there isn't a good segue back to the other two thoughts. I get the feeling this is getting kind of long, I better think about wrapping this up.

I know I wanted to talk about religion, but maybe I'll save that for another blog. Maybe I won't blog about it at all. I know my friend Tony is going to pay us a visit and I have the whole final week of winter break off. I really hope something snowballs and we end up at a dinner table and have one of our epic talks. Those talks really break me out of funks, those talks give me false hopes (ahh, I'm a hypocrite. Fuck yourself, we all are). I really hope to touch on the topics of religion, what makes people happy, what is the point of our existence, and also talk about Tony joining the Marines then. I remember our last Perkins run, that talk got kind of deep, it got kind of emotional (tears were shared), it got kind of heated. But I do know not everything said was true and that is a shame. Talks like that are what I think humans should be doing. Not going to the bar every Friday night. You couldn't have such intelligent conversations while under the influence. But hey, I'm a fan of critical thinking, that's not for everything. Read Tony's blog he wrote tonight, I share many of the same opinions. Here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/note.php?note_id=43883081869&ref=mf
I am Christian by default. I have been for 21 years albeit I consider myself and share mostly agnostic traits. However, recently, I am considering becoming an atheist. It's the only logical mind set. I mean, not that it's a big deal, because I guess atheism could also because considered religion, but I just wanted to be separated from "religious" ideals. I don't want to be a part of a cult, I don't want to live a lie. This whole idea of God just doesn't make sense, there are too many pieces missing for it to be true. Again, I was going to get into this much deeper, but I just don't feel like it. Plus, the Copeland C.D just ended and I need to switch albums and write one more section.

Just wanting to document my day before I go brush my teeth, and hit the sack (sack as in bed, not my balls. I would never strike my own balls). As mentioned above, I started the day out with George Carlin's blessings and teachings. Well, that's not the very first thing I did. I mean, I had to roll out of bed first, and before that I had to turn off my alarm, and before that I had to open my eyes, and maybe even before that I stretched, or took in some oxygen. Then I probably stumbled into the bathroom and took a piss. Is that the first thing everyone does when they wake up? Minus opening your eyes, or stretching, or taking in oxygen. Then I probably stumbled back into my room and squeezed one off. What?! Who shares that much info?! Oh no! Actually, I don't know, I don't remember. I just wanted to cause a stir. And I know my blogs are so moving a small stir could cause a hurricane. I got my Underoath DVD from Netflix today so I watched that upstairs before anyone got home so I could enjoy it on the new TV with up convert. It was pretty cool, nothing life changing, but I've been an Underoath fan so long it was cool to see a more personal side aside from the music. I envy the friendships they share, or at least the friendship they present. Then I hung out with Dick when he got home and played some Gears. Oh, I cut my thumb tonight when I got out of the shower, this is going to severely affect my Gearing. Looks like my rape fest might need to take a one or two day hiatus. And trust me, I am a raper (bring it on Fox, edit that one too, "I am a raper" -Min Lee). If charges could be charged for the amount of raping I cause in the virtual world, I'd serve two life times and my children would also serve. They'd probably find a way to resurrect my grandfathers so they could serve. Yeah, that extreme. Jon came over for a little bit but he got bored and went home early. I guess I'm just not as fun as I once used to be. Jon told me he was going home to eat, but I know a white lie when I hear/see it. I'm sure he went home to eat, I just wish he would have left out that part about texting me and getting back together after he finished. I know he was just trying to soften the truth. Maybe I'm way off, maybe he did go home and is still cooking up a mean meal that takes 8 hours to cook. I should just sit here and innocently wait for that text, that's what an obedient friend does. Back in the day, we would have just gone out and grabbed a bite together. I hope this last bit isn't portraying an angry tone, because although it is a bit irritating, it's not a big deal. To me, to be a good friend, a good spouse, a good brother, a good son, is to love. And to me, to love means to be able to sacrifice anything for the other persons happiness. If I am to be a good friend, I should let go and let friends do what ever they want. Winter and summer break for me means that I get to see good friends that I normally don't get to see often during the school year. Well, at least that is what I usually hope for. But I've learned I don't share the same hopes as most of my good friends and I must live with it. I must learn to love. Again, not a big deal. This thing we, I, call love means nothing when we die. I've conditioned myself to believe so many morals and bull shit man made ideas. It's impossible to juggle them all, although I tried for the past 22 years and I will most likely attempt into the future. I just wonder, if it is programmed into me, or have I just conditioned myself? If it's programmed into me, there is nothing I can do but to suffer, but if it is conditioned, I can break to trend.

Alright, this is way too long. I wanted to watch Pan's Labyrinth tonight but I might have to hold that off until tomorrow. I hate sleeping in later than 11:00 but I need my fair amount of sleep. I hate not being fully rested, I need to be at 100%. I can't have any one fucking me big time just because my mind isn't 100%.

You're still reading this?

Shoot Blue Beams

I was actually going to sit down and write a meaningful blog. I've been thinking soooo damn much this winter break and I wanted to share some of my thoughts. I've been pretty down for the last 2 weeks, pretty depressed. Sucked because I missed Christmas, New Years, and my birthday because of it. Doesn't really matter though, they are all bull shit, just some arbitrary events. Excuses to act irrational for a little bit. I have no time to act irrational. I kind of snapped out of it a little yesterday and today for a few hours I had this surge of "bubbles." That doesn't make sense...right? I can't really explain the feeling, I just felt good. Like I was floating. I totally spaced out, the only thing I could feel was the sun on my skin. I mean I was outside, in Minnesota, in the winter cold and the only thing I could feel was the sun on my face. I forgot that I was a human, I forgot that I had family and friends, I forgot that I needed to work. Is that what it feels like when you're dead? Is that why people take mind altering substances? To escape? To run away from the truth? None of the random blabbering above has any real meaning. All bull shit. I guess I am still searching for meaning in my life. Right now, I just want to be able to open people up. Open them to new perspectives and new ways of thinking. I just want to love people and for people to love me. I thought to myself today on the way to work, human beings are the most ugly beings, and the most beautiful. Human beings are such a paradox. How could such rotten creatures give me so much hope? So much pain. Other people are what keep me going. They are also the cause of so much of my pain. When I'm dead, I don't have to deal with any of it. When I'm dead, I'm dead. Nothing else.

This blog is so staccato and random. Deal with it. I like it like that. I'll try and write a meaningful blog tomorrow if I remember and can collect all my thoughts. I had so much to say during my 2 weeks of depression.

Thanks to my friend Ben Lee. He's cool.
And to my friend Dawson. He is fun to talk to.

I want Watchman to come out so badly. There is a line in the preview that really fits my thoughts lately. I forget how it goes exactly, but it is something about why we should fight for something we have no stake in. That's how I feel. I can't fix everything. Why am I the only one fighting? Or why does it seem like that. And all this pain is meaningless. We will all be the way we want to be. Why am I like this? Either way, I want Watchman to come out. Zack Snyder is so fucking amazing and I hear the story is off the meat rack. Fuck Fox studios.

Read this article, it is so damn funny:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/fox-can-eat-several-dicks/

I also want Fox to eat all the dicks.
Rupert Murdoch can eat a majority of the dicks.

I've been wanting to write music lately. Music is sooo beautiful when done right. Not that I can do it right, I fucking suck. It is still therapy to me though. I wish I was better at creating art.

My mind is a cluster fuck of thoughts. I want to share everything, but I can't put all my thoughts together so they make sense to others. I just sound like an ass farting chunks. Sometimes when I am able to get my ideas out, no one understands them. I'm just so different than everyone else. Is there anyone else like me? Or am I to be alone forever? I need to meet more people. Share more ideas. Learn about life more.

I'm going to bed.
Someone suggest some good movies to me. Note that I said good.

Love and Fear

Watch this clip and tell me how you feel.



I know I feel frustrated. Why is it that when we watch things from the third person it's so obvious but when we are the party involved our vision becomes tunneled?

This is not a fake scenario. This type of stuff always happens to me because I sometimes question what I'm being taught. It happened this past Saturday to me but I don't care to go into detail about it. Look out for this type of bullshit. Don't put up with it.

I'm Dumb, Stupid, Closed Minded, Ignorant, And Arrogant

Well, just burning time before class again. I am finished with midterms, yahoo! If I get a B on my midterm papers, I will be happy. They are like uber shitty and my citations are poor. But at least midterms are over! I think I have one more test next month and then finals. Then winter break! Hoooody hoo. But then spring semester, aww. But then spring break! Hoooody hooo. But then finals, aww. But then I graduate! Hooody hoo. But then I have to enter the real world or figure some major shit out, aww. It doesn't end does it? Oh well, as long as the important things in life stay intact.

[Give up everything, leave without out it, 'cause we are not coming back]

I'm looking forward to the Underoath concert, Gears of War2, Left 4 Dead, and when does Watchman come out? Zack Snyder is kind of a gangster and even though the Watchman trailer didn't blow me away like the 300 trailer did, I have to peep it. It's Snyder, it has to be good. Just make sure you guys don't go to an AMC theater on the weekends. It's fucking $10! I don't think I've ever paid that much for a movie before. And when I ask, "when does Watchman come out?" I can easily Google it (Fuck Google, Yahoo! is kind of the o.g.) but I don't. Because if I did, I'd have nothing to talk about. I'm kind of a people person. A SOCIALIST! Oh no, a fucking communist! Scaarrry! Like Halloween. And Saw movies. Halloween gives college girls an excuse to show off their large, firm breasts and their ass-cheeks. Impressive. (What?)

[Let go of me, let go of me]

So the issue of religion has come up a lot in my life lately. I really don't know where I stand when it comes to religion and it bothers me a little. I mean, if I don't know what I am thinking and feeling, who does? God? What do other people think about religion? I've been watching a lot of Bill Maher's commentary on religion and everything makes sense, but it's up to me to put all the pieces together. Not Bill Maher, or god, or atheists, or conservatives. Everything about religion seems so cult like and everything logical and rational says it's just so stupid. But how can the whole world believe in this? Is the whole world that afraid that there are some things in the world that can't be answered? It doesn't bother me that I nor anyone has the answers, but that everyone is so agitated by it. It affects everyone, even if you don't believe in religion. If you're an atheist, you're an anarchist and a devil lover. It's just a huge mess.

[I'm the desperate, and you're the savior]

This weekend I think my church is attending a Christian concert. It should be cool. No, it's not the Underoath/Devil Wears Prada show although that is very Christiany show and my church should go, haha. I am hoping there is a little movement instead of seats but I don't see how dancing conforms to church views. Think about how crazy that Oath/TDWP show is going to be? Last year I couldn't handle one hour of Oath. Now throw in TDWP? Insane! And a little Saosin and Person L? Icky icky. Let's not forget P.O.S, haha.

[No one's listening anyway]

I just read an article that said Bill O'Reilly got a contract renewal where he gets paid 10 million a year. That's a lot of money. I guess he isn't voting for Obama? Haha. The money doesn't bother me because O'Reilly's show brings in a lot of viewers and that's what drives the broadcasters. What bothers me is that it's Bill O'Reilly. And this was said: ""Bill O'Reilly is the most prominent and influential name in all of cable news, and his contribution to the network's success cannot be overstated," Fox News chairman and CEO Roger Ailes said." Is it not scary that someone like Bill O'Reilly is INFLUENTIAL?

[I was to scared to show, what I am]

I also read an article questioning New England Patriots coach Billy B. Some people are blaming him for Rodney Harrison's leg injury. The Pat's were up by 30 some points and kept Harrison on the field late in the 3rd quarter I think it was. I am going to side Billy on this one. I'm someone who believes that you fight to the end no matter what, don't look back. A football game is technically 60 minutes, so you will play 60 minutes. Football is supposed to be played by people like Bill Belichick, Hines Ward, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Troy Polamalu. Someone got hurt in a football game. If you are shocked by that, then I don't know what you are watching.

[We are the cancer, we are the virus]

So I watched the Myspace artist on artist interview with Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale last night. Which lead me to watch a shit load of other ones. Serj Tankian is the fucking man. Mark Wahlberg is weird. But does anyone else want to be Zac Efron? Dude's kind of cool. I wish he would choose better roles, be a little more Jared Leto like. Except Leto is so serious it's kind of scary. And I think I am developing a little secret crush in Ashley Tisdale. It's a secret! Shhh! I was originally a fan of her because she was in Donnie Darko, which is the best movie ever (Shut up if you think it isn't. Let's fight!). I really haven't seen anything else she has done except for High School Musical 2 which I saw on my flight to Korea. I also saw a Harry Potter which was pretty cool. I know Tisdale is also a singer and sold like 60,000 copies her first week. Which is really good, and kind of sad. I think Senses Fail and Underoath sold like 20,000 their first week and that is considered good for them. Maybe I'm a little unfair because I haven't listened to Tisdale's album and maybe it is legit. I am assuming it isn't. But I am assuming it is better than Paris Hilton's. Plus, I learned that Tisdale is strait edge. That's way coool, especially for her because she is probably around other stars that are drunk, or high all the time. I kind of have a thing for people who are strait edge. It's hard to find people who have that philosophy. Donnie Darko role + strait edge. Is there anything else? Haha. I read that Joe Biden doesn't drink alcohol which is uber cool too. I read Al Frankin is strait edge too. He gets my vote, haha.

[It's all my head, if you want, you can look inside]

Anywho, I have to go eat lunch (Subway, my Mommy bought it for me, tee hee) and then go to class. Then I have to film. Which is kind of dumb seeing that I'm the editor. So I have to help on set, and then while everyone else is at home, I have to edit when it comes time to edit. I get double the work load...weird huh? Oh well. I'm kind of dumb, stupid, closed minded, ignorant, and arrogant.

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Staple Everything

Staple your damn mouth.

[But who would want me anyway...]

I have one of two mid-term papers that are due this week all finished. One more due tomorrow. I get to submit that one online so I'll be "working at home". 2 of my classes didn't meet this week and it was fricken sweet.

[I have nothing left to give]

Not much really to update on. Just writing 'cause I have an hour until my feminist film studies class. Class is kind of a joke. Not because it's a feminist class, but because of what we do. I would consider my self a feminist so I thought it was going to be a lot more interesting but it hasn't turned out that way. The class meets once a week and we watch a movie pretty much the whole class period. Then we blog on that movie and read abstract essays that go like this, "blah blah blah, vagina, blah." I thought we were going to be all like, "fuck people who don't believe in equality". We watched Basic Instinct in that class and one of the students had to leave due to the graphic sexuality. She looked to be very "pure" and churchy. You know, one of those kids whose parents doesn't want them to see the real world so they block them from everything violent and sexual. And so the first time that child sees something violent and sexual they don't know how to react to it. My parents didn't shield me from everything but they did limit the quantity. They also told me that I need to learn how to separate fantasy and reality. If you're a parent and you can't do that with your child because it's "weird" - just quit. But no one should take my opinion on this, I'm not a parent and I have no idea what I'm talking about. I honestly mean that. How could I have any understanding of how to raise children, I've never done it before. This is the trouble with blogs because you lose the timbre of the voice. I'm assuming people are thinking I'm being sarcastic when I say don't believe me because I'm an arrogant mo fo. But I seriously mean it. I have no experience being a parent, so I can't offer good advice. It's just how I feel. I just feel bad when people aren't educated on real life things.

[Accept the answers without a question, it's easier]

Anyone else bumping this new Senses Fail? I got a lot of mixed feelings for it, but it's Senses Fail, I could never hate it. It's tough Still Searching had to be their 2nd full length (I consider it their 3rd album though, 'cause that EP is so legit), 'cause that was a epic masterpiece. This new album doesn't sound as nearly as polished as Still Searching but Buddy comes through and speaks words that can lift any confused soul. I can't wait for the next time Senses Fail rolls through Minnesota so I can scream these new tunes out with them. Screaming is the right word too, a lot more screaming on this record. I'm pretty sure I've seen Senses Fail more than any other band. I want to know which song on this record was inspired by the latest Rambo movie. Oh, and how come Minnesota sucks for shows. So many tours skip over us. But I guess it's better than the Dakotas. This fall I'll be missing, Anberlin, Scary Kids, and Senses Fail. I chose not to go to the Chiodos 'cause Escape The Fate has fallen apart with the departure of Ronnie and their guitar player. But I do plan on hitting up this epic Underoath show. (I think I should not use the word epic.)

[turn my cuts into scars]

Well, I didn't want this blog to be long so I'm going to end it. Oh wait, no I'm not. I saw Quarantine this past weekend. I liked it of course, anything dealing with the death of stupid human beings and massive amounts of zombies is all good. There are some issues with it but nothing I couldn't get over. Check it out if you like zombo flicks. Just don't pay $10 for it like I did (Damn you AMC!).

Random Chunks

I have an hour until my video production class and I need to waste a little time. This blog is going to really random and crazy, so please leave now. I've been watching a lot of avant-garde films and been thinking artistically a lot lately so this might be the reason behind this.

[We no longer listen to honesty because it has no glamor]

Fall is in full effect isn't it? Good or bad, I don't really know. I don't have any good hoodies, so I'm kind of cold.

[Please don't forget about the things that make you feel]

Reasons why I am not voting for Nobama:
1) He is a terrorist.
2) He is an Arab.
3) He's black.
4) Sarah Palin is better.
5) He doesn't like cars from Japan and South Korea.
6) He likes the middle-class too much.

[Like a magician, you made his faith disappear]

It seems like every time around this year I think about a whole bunch of shit I wish I didn't think about. I don't know what makes me think these thoughts. Maybe school, maybe the fall season and that everything is taking in a last breath of air before they hibernate, maybe friends and family, maybe music since usually a lot of new albums come out around this time. I really don't know. Last year wasn't as tough and I wish I knew why so I could follow that path. Maybe it was my trip to Korea? God, I really miss that place and I really miss the family back in Korea. It's crazy to think that I could meet some people for the first time in my life and feel like I've loved them for 21 years. Part of me feels like that is due to Korean culture, but another part feels like because that's the power of family. When I was a teenager and I thought I was finally understanding life and getting a grasp on everything, my Mom told me something that has really stuck with me. She told me that family would always be there and that you should put family first. At that time, I felt like your friends could also be a part of your family. I thought you could build these amazing relationships with friends and have those bonds be as strong as family bonds. You can build amazing bonds with friends, but they will never be "family" and I understand that now. I think it took me 3 years to finally digest that fact. It's really some shit I didn't want to really believe, but there is nothing I can do. Humans run around and around in these circles and it's no problem to them.

[There is a light that never goes out]

I'm so ready for Obama to be our president and for Bush not to be our president. For the people that voted Bush in 2004, please think about who you are voting for this time around. Actually think. Please.

[Please wait around for a while, because I promise you, I will]

I super excited for this little game called Gears of War 2 to come out. It comes out November 7th and it has already gone gold. That's pretty cool. I've been practicing on Gears 1 so when Gears 2 comes out I can be tip-top. Horde Mode: Dick, Jon, Min. Holler.

When I'm An Old Man

I always hear people say, "everyone is a liberal when they are young."
So you're telling me that as we age, we become greedy, grumpy, and turn into liars?

Well, that's not 100% true and stated very bluntly. I have too much homework to expand.

I look forward to how my views on the world change as I age. Hopefully blogging will still be cool then.

Season: Fall

I've never seen this Paramore video before. I just saw it and it really makes me feel weird. But like a good weird.



Fall is when all the animals go away and nature goes into a sort of "coma." But for me it makes me kind of happy. I still feel warm inside knowing that everyone is getting ready for the freezing (Minnesota) winter. That we are all going to bundle up. I love the feel of the chill on my face. I love the feel of that same wind brushing against my hoodie. I love it when my Mom tells me to bundle up. Enjoy these last few days of Earth everyone.

(Does anyone know what that "Eternal Sunshine" filter is that they use in this video? To make everything seem so homely and like it was shot with a video camera from the '70s? I really like it. It makes me feel nostalgic.)

Sony Brand DVs

The title has nothing to do with this blog and that should be a strong indicator that this blog is going to be a little coo-coo. Words like coo-coo being used should also be a sign for you to stay very far away. Anywho, I've been super super busy lately but I have like 10 more minutes to kill before my next class. I'm either super uber duber (what?) busy or else I have like 30 minutes where I have nothing to do. Why can't I just collect all those 30 minutes of nothing and create like an extra day? I'd call the day "Fusion" and place it before Tuesday just because my mind is telling me to do it that way. Also because come the end of Monday, I'll be having a day off. While all you normal people go to school/work on Tuesday while I enjoy Fusion. Then if this were real life, I'd meet up with you guys on Wednesday. Which means I pretty much skipped Tuesday, but I didn't, because I was enjoying Fusion. Jerks.

Actually, the title does have a little significance. I need to buy a tiny boat load (Like a canoe) of Sony brand DV tapes. They are for my advanced video production class and I need a bunch of 'em. That class surely knows how to bust a few balls when it comes to scheduling and time. I find myself uber busy out side of class because of it, but it is a class I really do enjoy. It actually doesn't feel like a class to me. Just learning and experiencing and most of the time enjoying. I really do hope my career path does lead this way. I think I need to start hitting up the U of M's Comm department a little more. I want to be able to production without having to suffer the starving artist life. I need stability. I plan on having a family and living comfortably. That's why I'm going to a huge university, right? Who knows though, it's better not to fret about it. (Fret, like a guitar fret, hehe).

Anywho, I'm dipping.