Nicole Simpson

Pop (Soda) is bad for you. Over the past week or two I've had more pop then I usually have had. I tried limiting my pop consumption, but for some reason I was around a lot of pop these past two weeks. Now that I am around bottled water again, I feel this addiction to pop. Nothing I can't handle but its weird because after you drink a lot of pop, its all you want to drink. And after you don't drink pop for a long time and then you start drinking a bunch of it again, you feel what it does to your body and it doesn't feel good. I felt sick and heavy. Before I hadn't even noticed this, but I guess you just have to pay more attention to the little things in life. This probably happens with a lot of things we put in our bodies, but we just don't know it since we are so used to it.

Lately I've found the human embrace and kiss to be fascinating. When ever people are sad, they often search for a hug like it is going to make things better. It doesn't, but for that little amount of time, you feel better like the person you are hugging cares and like you can share you pain with him/her. I noticed I don't hug a lot of people and that maybe its a bad thing. I'm to scared that I will offend someone sexually so I don't usually engage in hugs unless it is offered. Maybe I should be more of a leader and offer hugs. I once read an article that said that when humans kiss, a healthy chemical is released that makes us feel better. Is this true? I couldn't tell you because I don't think kissed someone since like the 3rd grade. Maybe this is why I often feel alone? I don't think it is, but who knows. I thought of it because I've seen a lot of people hugging recently.

So I broke my silence with this one guy via Facebook. Only one of like three people I can say I really hate. I don't know why I did it either, I guess I was in one of my "love people" moods. I felt like I had to forgive him, that it was so long ago that it would be childish of me to keep the beef. Well, call me childish, but I have to much pride to just submit. I know we fought over a stupid thing, but I feel like I did nothing wrong and for him to accuse me and do the things he did to me is fucked up. And the thing is, I did nothing to him. Its like if someone killed someone you loved, and the court couldn't accuse the person so he got away free. This guy did all the wrong and now he walks with no weight on his shoulder just because I was nice enough not to ruin his image. Its my fault that I was nice enough to do that, and its my fault my pride won't let me ever show any kindness towards him. He sent me a friend request asking if my friends and I wanted to play Halo this summer, I responded to his message but I declined his request. I guess I thought I'd just let him know I'm still alive but also let him know that he could fuck him self and his one eyed girlfriend bitch whore. Tee hee!

I have in my blog notes to talk about Western Medicine again but I don't remember exactly what about. I know I thought of something to say while I was watching Babel, but I forget. How do we really know western medicine is the best? I guess I'm still alive so I have to believe it a little, but still, sometimes I wonder. It seems to be the worlds standard, but just because its mainstream doesn't make it right. Ah well, this is just something I can accept, but I'll still keep one eye open.

So someone commented my blog about my experience with the two Christians last week and he basically wrote everything they told me. Its nice to see that they are all on the same page. This is something I hate about Christians is that they are so forceful. Why don't they just give you the tools and let you do what you want with them. They keep telling me about lust too. That if you look at someone sexually that I've raped that person in my mind and committed adultery. Adultery against who? The next person I am about to rape with my mind? And let me tell you I'm a guy, I have a penis and I have testosterone, I have raped a lot of women...with my mind, I don't want to get into trouble for writing that. I say that, but I bet women are just as horny as guys. Everyone time Christians approach me the more I think religion and church is a scam. They use desperation and hope to suck you into their trap. The church uses your confusion and sucks money right out of your pockets. The catholic church is the smartest because they don't fuck around, they go out and gank everyones money. Non of this soft core Christian bullshit. If people weren't so scared and so curious and so desperate, non of this would be a problem. The same goes with science to. Our curiosity leads us to good things, but a bunch of awful things. Maybe we believe in western medicine because we have to?

Lately I've been checking out a lot of new music. Because I want to and kind of because I have to. Many reasons why I have to. A lot of the bands I grew up with have reached their peak, they aren't going to grow anymore. I think the journey you take with bands as they grow in popularity and musically is just part of the experience. It's fun to me to watch something I enjoy grow. Another reason is that a lot of old bands are breaking up and I need new bands to fill the empty slots. Another reason is that since all my favorite bands have grown so much and are pretty popular now, they don't play with each other since they are all headliners. Why the Taking Back Sunday, Underoath, Armor for Sleep concert was soooooo amazing. I knew headliners and openers but recently I've had to research openers before shows. The last reason being is because I love music, who the hell doesn't want to hear good music. I stopped searching for new music a while back because the scene got to clustered. To many little bands came out and tried to copy sounds instead of creating their own and it made it way to messy. I didn't want to have to sort through that mess. It seems like it has died off a little. The timing is also perfect. With most of the tours done and only Warped Tour coming up, it gives me about a whole year to discover new bands. Warped Tour is always dedicated to the top bands so I don't ever need to preview, just review. But after Warped I should know a bunch of upcoming bands for next fall and winter, so I will have a good balance of up and coming and veterans. It just seems like a good time to discover. Its really hard to find these new bands though. I have a list of bands I need to check out, but the HUB isn't always the best place for deep underground music. Some of these bands don't even have purevolume accounts and for some reason MySpace downloads don't always work. I guess I just wait for the bands to get a little more popular and then snag it off the HUB. Or maybe I might have to buy some CDS!? yuck! I did manage to scoop some off them HUB and I was going through them while mixing in The Format since I was suppose to see them yesterday (Wednesday) but things didn't work out. I got stuck on this little band called Escape the Fate. Pretty sweet stuff. A blend of From First to Last, The Used, From Autumn to Ashes and Atreyu.

One last thing before I close this blog. Lately I see I get lied to a lot. When you view the world as a pure and kind place, lies just go through you. You accept peoples lies and think that they are telling the truth. But when you look at the world as bad place and you think people are corrupt and little fucks, you catch lies. My sister always lies, and I don't know why I don't confront her about her lies. I think probably all of my friends lie to me, but recently I've caught a bunch of them lying. One of my friends always lies to make himself look better then he really is. He hides his poor qualities and boasts what little good qualities he has. I caught one of his lies because I heard something from someone else he hangs out with and then when I talked to him he gave me a different story. I also didn't confront him. And now my friends are also hanging out with each other outside of the big group, so they probably can plan things out against me too. It is going to get harder and harder to tell real from fake. Why does it have to be like this?