"Baby Don't Hurt Me"

“What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more” *

What a great question it is that Haddaway (Alexander Nestor Haddaway) inquires. In Haddaway’s scenario, although he is not sure what love is, he knows it can hurt and later informs that it is not fair. I am most likely safe assuming we all have a definition of love, even if it is not a perfect definition. Here are the first three definitions given on Dictioanry.com:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

Certainly working definitions, but I’m not sure there is an all encompassing definition of “love”. I should also note that when I talk about the use of the word “love”, I am talking from an American point of view and the way we use to word in English. I feel this is a note worthy because I know Koreans do not use the word “love” the same way we do. Because of this knowledge, I must use caution and assume that other languages might also not use the word as loosely as we do in English. Koreans do not make claims such as, “I love that book!” or “I love pizza!” where we in America throw around the word “love” at every opportunity. This also proves that the three definitions from Dictionary.com do not apply to all situations. The definitions have no mention of, for example, the love for nature, or the love for knowledge. In this case does “love” stand in place for the word “passion”? Of course we understand that both the words might have overlapping qualities, but this is the tricky thing about language. Languages are only as good as the consistencies we give them. For example, an individual might break every rule of grammar in a statement, but we might still be able to understand them. This does not give license to ignore grammar, as grammar is the hope that we do remain consistent with our language, but language certainly is above the laws of grammar. Intrinsically the word “love” is only a syllable of sounds or the contrast between scribbles on its medium. It is the consistencies we give these sounds and scribbles that partially gives the word its value. I say “partially” because I believe “love” gets its other half from the feeling of empathy. “Love” has many characteristics. Passion was mentioned above, and often we hear that love can be unconditional. I have a difficult time making a distinction between the general, store brand, form of love, and the unconditional, Louis Vuitton, version of love because I think love should be unconditional as is.

Of all the characteristics, empathy might be the most important of them all. Empathy gives us the capacity to understand, or feel, another individual even with the limitations of language. There has been a time in most lives where we wished that there were some sort of invention that would allow another person to dive into our minds or the deepest parts of our heart to show them clearly the way we feel. Empathy is that mechanism. I think it can be argued that we can have empathy without love, but I find that it might be difficult to have love without empathy. I cannot say for certain whether women are inherently more empathetic than men, or if the social gender roles have allowed women to grow into a more empathetic role, but I believe a point can be made that women are generally more empathetic than men. At this point in the history of human beings, the phrase “the history of man” applies better than, “the history of human beings.” The world we live in is certainly a world created by men. It is bewildering that women were (are?) treated as inferiors for much of our history. Although conditions are not perfect yet, we have made vast improvements. I believe had it been “the history of woman” the world would be a much different place, and might have been a better place provided that women are inherently more empathetic, and not just empathetic as a reaction to the gender roles that were created by man.

Lately, I have been contemplating a lot about the meaning of love and this constant search for it. I am beginning to learn that the important thing is not to let “love” consume you. Like with many things in life, you have to take it as it comes and in the portions nature rations. I have a love for many things. I have a love for people, a love for knowledge, lately I have discovered my love for nature and the cosmos, I have a love for my family and friends, I have a love for animals, I have a love for art, and I was lucky enough to experience a love for a woman once. There is plenty of love out there to be discovered, to be shared, and to be given. Our responsibility is to keep “love” in motion.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zlViU5PBPY&feature=related

Instead of the original version, I felt as though the Roxbury version bettered this entry.